Company offers unlimited PTO, but one coworker can't stop throwing shade every time an employee takes a day off: 'This is why the US has a toxic workaholic culture'

Advertisement
  • 01
    r/r/womenEngineers • 2 days wuirkytee Male coworker is obsessed with my PTO
  • 02
    My company has a "unlimited" and flexible time off policy. I always let my direct supervisor know if I'm taking any days off usually at least two weeks ahead of time. I also work remotely if that is relevant
  • 03
    My (27F) male coworker (38M), who has been with the company 6 years, has made comments about my vacation and my time off a habit of his. Every other month I'll take a Friday off, with the approval of my manager, to use as a day to drive to my adventure spot for the weekend or as a day
  • 04
    to catch up on errands or appointments. My coworker always makes a comment during the following Friday update call, where my boss is not present. Other examples: Thanksgiving last year he asked if
  • 05
    I was going to be present at all during thanksgiving week, I said yes, except Wednesday. He then retorts "oh I thought you would be take off the entire week”. Like ok..??? I have been trying to get my team up to speed with my workload as I
  • 06
    am taking a 2 week trip to Europe starting next week( that my manager approved back in January when plane tickets were cheap!!) and he makes a big hoopla about it and asks "why do you take so much vacation? Don't you only get fifteen days". I
  • 07
    remind him that we have unlimited and that my manager approved it in January. I don't know what to do anymore!!! This is my first ever vacation that I have taken an actual week off since being with this company (2 years) and he
  • 08
    always makes a comment on my random one day here, or two days here. I am not sure what else to do. I have not brought it up with my manager but I have screenshots of his IMs and I have an ongoing log of his comments he makes during Teams calls.
  • 09
    Edit to add more context. We are BOTH under the same "unlimited" pto policy. His boss, whom I've worked for, is very accommodating and I don't see him disapproving of his subordinates taking pto. Secondly, we are both in the USA.
  • 10
    Edit 2: I have confronted him in the past (maybe six months ago when he made a snarky comment about me taking a half day) and I remember saying "do you want me to include you in my pto approval emails from now on?" And he stammered. I have also
  • 11
    asked him "why do you ask" and he squirms. But this is clearly not enough for him to stop. Edit3: some commenters saying "well maybe fifteen is what you should follow. Maybe you should be taking around that much". No.
  • 12
    I am following PTO policy and my manager has approved every email I have sent requesting out of office and has never brought it up as something of issue, This line of thinking is why the US has a toxic workaholic culture.
  • 13
    • Henry AlbusNibbler 4d ago Edited 3d ago Be direct and ask him why he cares so much about your normal PTO usage in front of others. Ask in a polite but non confrontational way like you are confused. Just keep asking why he can't say anything nice.
  • 14
    Edit: my old boss used to make jokes about not approving my PTO, he was subconsciously guilting me for taking time off, and only joked about women's PTO not the men's. So there is no way this guy has good intentions whether me knows it or not.
  • 15
    bulldog1425 .4d ago Does your coworker also report to your manager? If so, I would bring it up to your manager. Say something like "X routinely makes comments insinuating that I take too much PTO. I believe that I'm getting my work done and that my PTO usage appropriate is that the case? If so, can you please clarify that to X? His comments make me uncomfortable." is
  • 16
    ramengirl22 .4d ago • Edited 4d ago "I am taking vacation in accordance with our company policy and with the approval of my manager. I don't feel any explanation is needed beyond that, so I would like to move on to the task at hand."
  • 17
    Flowerpot33 4d ago I would bring it up with supervisor but not in a way that highlights how much time you take off. I would state that coworker seems too interested in your personal time and keeps pushing boundaries and you are starting to worry about why he is so preoccupied with you and your personal life.This will ring alarms to them without focusing on the days off.
  • 18
    LdyCjn-997 4d ago You need to bring this up to your supervisor and show all the screenshots of your coworkers comments to you. One or two times is enough but when it's repeated, that becomes harassment. In the meantime, quit giving your coworker fire to his fuel. If he asks you again, tell him your time off is none of his business. unless it directly affects his work.
  • 19
    smol-meow • 3d ago Don't give him statements. Only ask questions. Why is that your concern? Why is this such a focus for you? I'm sorry, what makes you think you're in a position. to be questioning me on that? Are you my manager? Do you have a hard time getting your work done when I'm not available?
  • 20
    But don't just throw it out as if it's rhetorical. Stop what you're doing, turn your entire body to face him, look him dead in the eye and ask. And when he babbles a response or doesn't have one, or even if he does come up with something, just stare at him a little more, and go back to your work. If you have a hard time bringing that energy, think to yourself "say it to my face, || (don't say that part out loud. That's just for you to bring the right energy).
  • 21
    gabb Status-Effort-9380 • 4d ago "I fail to see how that's any of your business. Next."
  • 22
    Not_Examiner_A • 3d ago Dude: "why are you taking another day off?" You: "what do you mean by that?"
  • 23
    LjungGren • 3d ago Your time off would fit very normally in a 3 or 4 week PTO policy, so you're def not "abusing" the policy which is clearly what he wants you to think. He sounds like the type of person who takes pride in working and never taking days off. I've talked to people who have bragged about not taking a day off in several years. Like... my condolences dude, sorry you don't have anything fun going on? I
  • 24
    like the play dumb/be petty tactic others have suggested. "Yeah we get unlimited pto which is so fun! What do you have for fun things coming up?". Otherwise def talk to your manager about it. Good luck and enjoy your trip!
  • 25
    Cheezburger Image 10403478016

Tags

Scroll Down For The Next Article