'They won’t stop guilt tripping me about [...] abandoning them when they’re understaffed': Employee gets new job leaving toxic employer, faces poor treatment from their soon-to-be ex-coworkers

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Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Sep 18, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Nothing breaks familiar bonds between once close-knit coworkers, who have bonded through commiserative mutual suffering at the hands of a toxic employer like the eventuality of one of them leaving. 

As the realization dawns that they're going to have to continue on in the world while their coworker is freed, stress sets in, and the toxic atmosphere takes hold. Then they collectively turn on the leaving coworker, partly out of jealousy at their newfound liberation and partly because turning on their departing own is the only way to keep ever-watchful management off their own backs, feigning condemnation of dissenters and ensuring that the neurotically fearful and watchful eye of Barad-dûr (the dark and haunting refuge of c-suite executives) isn't drawn towards them. 

While it's a relief once you finally exit the threshold of that workplace for the last time, it's not without its challenges; you can almost guarantee that any time remaining in your notice period will be painfully drawn out as sharp glances and snide passive-aggressive comments slowly chip away at your resolve. You might consider just staying after all, especially when a generous counteroffer is floated your way despite the fact that you were told there was no money in the budget for raises months prior.

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    "They are overworking us... Way out → "
    via Alexandre Debiève

    second image: sebastiaan stam

  • 02
    Got a new job, put in notice, coworkers guilt tripping me I've been working at my job for just over 6 months. For pretty minimal pay they are overworking us, leaving us understaffed on busy days, allowing customers to be aggressive and bully us. I overheard that one of my coworkers who'd been there for 7+ years was making less than
    via francis202
  • 03
    new hires, which put a really bad taste in my mouth. I'd been looking for a new job basically since I started, and I finally found one with way better pay with a more manageable schedule! I put in my 2 weeks notice, and a couple days later my manager offers me another position (same pay, different title/schedule). I said I'd take it because the experience would help me look
    via francis202
  • 04
    for jobs later. The new place got back to me offering even MORE money, so I told my manager I have to take it, starting next week. They won't stop guilt tripping me about jumping ship, and abandoning them when they're understaffed. They keep saying how I'm a good employee and they don't want me to go, but this raise means I can start saving money again while still paying my bills! i don't know how to go this next week dealing with the guilt tripping and snide comments every day
    via francis202
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    Overall_Outcome... . 7h ago Never ever take a counter offer unless it addresses the root causes of why you're leaving.
    via francis202
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    excellent_gailan • 7h ago People sometimes don't like to see other succeed. It's pretty sad. Good for you.
    via francis202
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    SheepherderSavi... . 7h ago Always put yourself first. Companies will also put themselves first. You're the first to be sacrificed if they don't need you. Don't fall for their guilt-trippery. Or: guilt trip them back and say they are really bad human beings for wanting to see you earn less money and suffer more for their sake
    via francis202
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    ReedRidge 7h ago . You don't owe them anything, they are not friends or family, they are just workers for the same boss. The correct response to guilt tripping (which means someone is treating you like a child) is || off"
    via francis202
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    Spottswoodeforgod • 7h ago Think of the other staff behaviour as the Stockholm syndrome in action - you are 100% doing the right thing. in getting out now. Unfortunately, you are unlikely to change their perspective, so just ignore and look forward. All the best in your new job.
    via francis202
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    smeggy1234 .7h ago If it was the other way around they wouldn't give. two for you. employer Do what's best your
    via francis202
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    Unhappy_Energy_... .7h ago i don't know how to go this next week dealing with the guilt tripping and snide comments every day If you can afford it, then don't go. What are they gonna do?
    via francis202
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    Iriltlirl 7h ago • Seriously, what a bunch of coworkers. If they did that to me, I'd shrug. If THEY want to be overworked and underpaid, that's on THEM, not YOU. Coincidentally, you are BETTER than they are, which is why you are being offered a better job. Console yourself with that knowledge.
    via francis202
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    anonymousforever • 7h ago They don't care about you. It's only guilt tripping because now they gotta hire and train someone else or the rest take on even more. It's not your fault they underpay and overwork their people and have a turnover problem.
    via francis202
  • 14
    Icy_Bake_8176 • 7h ago You are doing what they can't, which is to leave. It's not a good thing they are doing, trying to keep you in their misery.
    via francis202
  • 15
    SufficientCow4380 7h ago . Maybe they should try paying people better. And treating them better.
    via francis202

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workplace discussion employment issues antiwork workplace-stories jobs employee employment-discussion job work i quit quit employees overworked-employees workplace Horrible Bosses quitting employment in the workplace
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