Man Refuses to Pay Child Support to His Bio Child, His Mother Threatens to Uninvite Him to Holidays: ‘He’s an innocent child’

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Sep 23, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When having corporeal relationships with someone, it's important to remember the potential consequences. Hedonism and human instinct dominate sometimes, and it becomes difficult to control oneself. But at the end of the day we all need to take responsibility for our actions. It's not the man's decision to keep a baby or not, and the woman has full power over her own body. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. The couple were hookup partners in college, until she got pregnant. She decided to have the baby against his wishes. For eight years he's been paying child support, but then she found a husband. They get a divorce, and she expects him to keep paying the child support, although he's not legally obligated. He even goes to his attorney for proof. Read the full story below for all the details. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 9 hr. ago ExcellentPirate9834 AITA for refusing to pay child support for my biological child?
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 02
    I met the mother my freshman year in college and we hooked up but never dated. She got pregnant and because I didn't want to quit school and we weren't serious, I didn't want her to keep it but she wanted to. I also didn't think it was mine because she was hooking up with other guys and to be fair, I was also hooking up with other girls.
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 03
    However, it was determined that I was the father so we went separate ways and I paid her monthly child support for about 8 years.
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 04
    Then she got married and her husband adopted the kid. I was relieved because that ended my obligations. By that time I was paying about $2,500 a month. Before she got married, we barely communicated and afterwards, we stopped all together. I didn't hear anything from her until about a month ago when I
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 05
    received a letter from her attorney stating that I had to resume my child support payments. I don't know the exact details but apparently she's going through a divorce and wants me to resume the payments.
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 06
    I went to my attorney and he assures me that I'm under no legal obligations to pay and advised me not to or else that could restart my legal obligations. He calculated my payments to be about $4,500 based on my current financial standings. I definitely don't want to pay out that much so I had him draft a letter telling her no.
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 07
    I told my family about these new developments my mom got all over me about it. She thinks I'm being cruel to an innocent child that I brought into the world and doesn't care what my attorney advised me. She's been guilt tripping me and hinted that I won't be invited to Thanksgiving or Christmas if I don't step up and
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 08
    be a man. My dad and brothers are on my side but they don't. want to argue with mom. I love my mom but I don't want to be on the hook for almost $55,000 a year until the kid turns 18.
    via u/ExcellentPirate9834
  • 09
    Global-Fact7752 • 9h ago Is it correct that you signed away your parental rights so the child could be adopted by the other man?
    via u/Global-Fact7752
  • 10
    HildursFarm 9h ago So INFO: You signed relinquishment paperwork and had it entered into court? It's several documents, and questionnaires depending on your state, and you have to go to court and the judge
    via u/HildursFarm
  • 11
    will ask you if you were forced, if you're doing it voluntarily, etc. So you did that, and then the husband went through the court system to adopt the child right?
    via u/HildursFarm
  • 12
    13ex_G9h ago Nta the guy adopted him so the mom will get support from him. She can't double dip
    via u/13ex_G
  • 13
    . teresajs 9h ago NTA The child has a father. The mother can pursue the legal father for support as part of their divorce process. The mother and her lawyer don't get to cherry pick to try to get more money.
    via u/teresajs
  • 14
    No-Stop-9151 9h ago NTA. Adoption is one of very few legal processes that are completely irreversible. Your ex's soon-to-be ex adopted that kid; he's legally the father and always will be, whether he and/or your ex like it or not. Your parental rights were severed, and on
    via u/No-Stop-9151
  • 15
    paper, you no longer have any relation nor obligation to the child.
    via u/No-Stop-9151
  • 16
    Contribution4afrie... 8h ago Oh, and by the way.... be careful with your mother making fake promises towards this kid and his mother. She might have contacted them already to meet them. You might have to be more attentive with
    via u/Contribution4afrie
  • 17
    what she says versus what you say. My advice is to lie to her and tell her everything is being covered. The kid has support already and doesn't want to meet you or her.
    via u/Contribution4afrie
  • 18
    Nightwish1976 • 9h ago NTA, just listen to your lawyer.
    via u/Nightwish1976
  • 19
    Adventurous-travel1 9h ago Once her husband adopted your child then he became the parent and she should go after him for child support. I would block her and return to sender.
    via u/Adventurous-travel1
  • 20
    Rough Theme_5289 • 8h ago Nta but she's entitled to the child support from the husband since he adopted your son.
    via u/Rough Theme_5289

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