16-year-old's teachers and therapist pressure her to cut her beautiful long hair for wigs for kids with cancer, tell her she's obliged to do it: 'The poor kids don't have the chance to choose, you have'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Sep 22, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

There's such a hullabaloo about cutting your hair off to donate it to the wig charity 'Locks of Love.' If anyone has long, beautiful hair and is just walking around existing, they often get asked if they want to donate their hair to make wigs for cancer patients. While it's a noble thing to want to do, I find it weird to assume that someone would like to give their hair away, especially if they've spent years and years growing it out. You never hear people saying, "You have such beautiful clothes. Why don't you donate half of them to a thrift store?" 

While asking someone if they're going to donate their hair is presumptuous at worst, pressuring someone into doing it is pretty insidious, especially when you're an adult and the long-haired person is a teenager. One teen with long, beautiful hair took her to Reddit to share her woes and let's just say the adults in her life need to get it together. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10407079936
    via Unsplash+ (Getty Images)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for telling people that I don't want to cut my hair and it's my choice?
    via u/Automatic_Public_357
  • 03
    It's pink October in my country next month, breast cancer awareness and for some reason it seems like everyone is begging me to donate my hair to charity. I've long, thin wavy voluminous hair and that's the only thing I'm vain about: no makeup, fancy clothes, nothing.
    via u/Automatic_Public_357
  • 04
    First, it was my therapist, as I've previously stated I had already trimmed my hair last month, (and I barely wanted it tbh) I said I didn't have the courage many times but she kept saying that it was only 10cm. She said that as the coordinator of the clinic herself, she was going to bring a hairdresser or she'd go with me to a salon.
    via u/Automatic_Public_357
  • 05
    Then at school, the social pressure from teachers, staff, classmates, everyone... Next week a hairdresser is coming to the school, I'm ugly and insecure, and the only thing I get compliments for is my hair, I'm not going to cut it despite the noble cause, I can help them in other ways. They're begging me and saying that I'm obligated to donate since it's not that much, but I don't want to. That I should donate in the name of everyone since it is so long.
    via u/Automatic_Public_357
  • 06
    I've a teacher that keeps repeating the same thing again and again cuz the project was her idea, I'm taking longer and different routes to not see her. AITA if I skip school that day? "The Poor kids don't have the chance to choose, you have". I've met countless people who had/have cancer and only one of them cared about their hair. Tbh I just wanna hide in a basement and come back on November 1st.
    via u/Automatic_Public_357
  • 07
    CuriousEmphasis7698 NTA. You are in no way obligated to cut off your hair for charity. If your therapist is pressuring you to do so, find a new therapist because that is not appropriate. If you think that you are going to face undue pressure or even be possibly forced into cutting your hair I would stay home from school when the hairdresser will be there.
    via u/CuriousEmphasis7698
  • 08
    HighlyImprobable42 My first thought: well obviously OP needs to fire their therapist. My friend, you are absolutely NTA. Your therapist, teachers, and the rest are bullies for pressuring you to alter your appearance. It's strange how others feel so entitled to offer someone else's money, time, or hair in this case, but would never do it themselves. If they were so concerned about charitable wigs, they shoukd donate money to the cause. Absolutely skip school that day. And maybe consider keeping y
    via u/HighlyImprobable42
  • 09
    janiestiredshoes This whole setup is so bizarre. All the adults here are behaving completely inappropriately. And over 10 cm of hair!? I don't think the wig places can even use that little hair.
    via u/janiestiredshoes
  • 10
    riontach NTA. Unless they're donating their own hair, they're hypocrites. Even if they are donating, your hair is still none of their business.
    via u/riontach
  • 11
    Archon-Toten NTA and report every one of those teachers to the principal/education department.
    via u/Archon-Toten
  • 12
    sharpieslinger You can go all the way up to the superintendant if you don't get any resolution from the principal. If you can afford it, the thought of you and your parents going to the superintendant with a lawyer should scare them blue.
    via u/sharpieslinger
  • 13
    Next-Wishbone1404 I'd call an education reporter.
    via u/Next-Wishbone1404
  • 14
    LowBalance4404 NTA and this is terrible. I'd start telling people "If I wanted your opinion, I'd ask for it" and just remove yourself from the conversation.
    via u/LowBalance4404
  • 15
    QuarantinisRUs 14h ago I'm petty, I would get a super short wig and wear it to school on sept 30th. "Y'all wanted me to cut my hair, so it's cut"
    via u/QuarantinisRUs
  • 16
    inkbond NTA. It's awful that adults are attempting to guilt you into giving up bodily autonomy. Plus there are many ways to be charitable besides donating hair. If I were in that position, I would keep my hair, donate a few bucks and tell the people pressuring me that I've have already given to the cause. Also, unless you and your therapist are working on some kind of exposure therapy for you regarding hair cutting or getting more comfortable with your looks, this request is inappropriate of you
    via u/inkbond
  • 17
    QuarantinisRUs A shocking amount of hair donated like this is not actually able to be used to make wigs. The hair has to be absolutely pristine, not even a little bit sun damaged.
    via u/QuarantinisRUs

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hair peer pressure therapist therapists teenager teenage teenagers pressure haircut haircuts teachers teacher reddit thread Reddit Terrible Teacher reddit story
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