Man Lands Dream Job in New City Without Discussing It With Girlfriend, Shattering Their Plans for a Shared Future and Leaving Her Hurt and Betrayed

Author image for Sienna Varady
Sienna Varady
Oct 2, 2024 10:00 PM EDT

Typically, in a romantic relationship, you envision a future together. You envision living together, getting engaged, married, and possibly starting a family.  You envision the two of you overcoming every challenge life presents.

The story below is of a devastated girlfriend. The original poster (OP) and her partner have been together for a long time. They envisioned themselves living together in an apartment, taking incredible vacations, and just enjoying life. But all of that was put on pause when OP found out that her partner had accepted his 'dream job'—which was 'too good to pass'—in another city without talking to her.

OP is now at a loss for what to do. Thus, make sure to read the story below if you'd like to know more about what transpired and how OP found out about her boyfriend's betrayal! After you're through, don't forget to read the account of the lady who, after receiving harsh criticism for her decision to alter her name, confronts her sister-in-law, sparking an acrimonious family argument!

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  • 01
    Our plans were in place for 3 months. He got a job in my city, was due to start it in 2 weeks. I got my flat last week. I made space for him, bought things for him. He talked about our plans and how we will join the gym together, asked me to put him in the tenancy and bills so he can get a bank account. I did the latter. He was going to pay half of the rent and bills.
    via canva
  • 02
    I broke up with my boyfriend after he changed all of our plans.
    via u/laurenlee20
  • 03
    I broke up with my boyfriend a few days ago. We were together for a year, we did everything together. He was supposed to be moving in with me tomorrow, but I got a phone call last Friday, he told me he has accepted a job in another country because it's more money. I'm so devastated.
    via u/laurenlee20
  • 04
    Our plans were in place for 3 months. He got a job in my city, was due to start it in 2 weeks. I got my flat last week. I made space for him, bought things for him. He talked about our plans and how we will join the gym together, asked me to put him in the tenancy and bills so he can get a bank account. I did the latter. He was going to pay half of the rent and bills.
    via u/laurenlee20
  • 05
    I was so excited for tomorrow, I haven't seen him in 3 weeks as he had to go back to his home country after his Masters ended. The job, he says is his dream job. The money is better, but the cost of living is more than double what it is here. I worked it out and he would have more disposable income living here with me. The job offer here was amazing too.
    via u/laurenlee20
  • 06
    I'm just trying to process everything. I loved him very much. We spoke, he apologised and said this is what he needs to do. I said I cannot do long distance and he isn't the person I thought he was. I have to throw out his things he gave me to keep for him until he came to live with me. We never got to say goodbye. I cry on and off about it and I feel so anxious. I wish he had made a different
    via u/laurenlee20
  • 07
    decision. We were planning our future together, I thought it was set in stone. I don't know how to move on right now.
    via u/laurenlee20
  • 08
    Consitutional History •18h ago • Sorry miss but despite what he's been telling you his real plans had been in the works for some months. A person doesn't just 'suddenly' get his dream job. He had obviously been looking, interviewing, and negotiating his employment all the while he'd been leading you along. Appreciate your feelings are hurt but I think in time you'll come to realize you dodged a bet.
    via u/ConsitutionalHistory
  • 09
    Trick_Delivery4609 18h ago • Wow. He totally knew weeks, if not months, ago that he was planning this. I am so angry in your behalf. He didn't tell you because. you were his backup plan in case the other job fell through. I hope you know that you deserve so much better. Block him. Don't ever let him back in your life.
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
  • 10
    I hope his job falls through. But still don't take him back!!!!
    via u/Trick_Delivery4609
  • 11
    TheRealDemii • 19h ago • It's okay to feel devastated right now. Allow yourself to grieve the loss, lean on supportive friends, and focus on self-care. In time, you'll find clarity and healing.
    via u/TheRealDemii
  • 12
    Vegetable-Bee-7461 • 16h ago • The joint tenancy and probable credit hit is concerning. Freeze your credit and put a fraud alert on your credit accounts and request new card numbers and bank account numbers. Do this immediately, OP. He is using a long-term plan and obviously needed your credit to do it.
    via u/Vegetable-Bee-7461
  • 13
    Corfiz74 18h ago • Practical things first: Can you find a roommate to share the apartment? Or can you afford the rent on your own?
    via u/Corfiz74
  • 14
    Initial-Respond7967 • 17h ago • Ugh. You deserve better. It sounds like he was working on getting this "dream job" for a while and was using the life you thought was set in stone as a backup plan. He s S. Are you going to be OK with the bills by yourself? I hope he did not leave you in the financial lurch.
    via u/Initial-Respond7967
  • 15
    Consider taking the stuff you got for him and returning what you can and donating the rest to a shelter. They often need things like toiletries and clothing. Start your new life by building something positive.
    via u/Initial-Respond7967
  • 16
    Raveanly 16h ago • You were the backup in case his "dream job" didn't work out. He was planning this from the very beginning. Take the time to feel hurt, but realize you are better off without him.
    via u/Raveanly
  • 17
    AdImpressive 7108 ⚫18h ago • Break ups create a tons of energy. All those emotions going crazy. Some manage to channel that energy to motivation. At the same time, changing is crucial for moving on in a healthy way. Add to that a new gf can also be highly motivating because it's a new start.
    via u/AdImpressive
  • 18
    I highly doubt it has anything to do with you. Maybe he wanted to change when he was with you, but lacked the energy and motivation. The reason doesn't have to be that he didn't love you
    via u/AdImpressive
  • 19
    Starry-Dust4444 • 17h ago • I assume he never even mentioned he applied & interviewed for this job? I'm sorry you had to find out this way that he doesn't consider you important enough to consult with regarding these kinds of decisions. It's better that you know this now tho. I hope he had the decency to at least break up with
    via u/Starry-Dust4444
  • 20
    you when he told you this and not try to pretend everything will just remain the same. If he didn't then treat him with the same level of respect he has shown you and block him. Never speak to him again. Match his energy.
    via u/Starry-Dust4444
  • 21
    • konoxians 9h ago • In my opinion, someone that does that doesn't love you. It's a good thing you got out.
    via u/konoxians
  • 22
    invah 15h ago • asked me to put him in the tenancy and bills so he can get a bank account This is interesting. This allows him to get a bank account in your country?
    via u/invah
  • 23
    Dachshundmom5 5h ago Edited 5h ago • I think you need to accept that his plan with you was always only a backup plan. He was using you. You're 100% right that he was not what you thought he was. All of it was what suited him for you to believe.
    via u/Dachshundmom5
  • 24
    He didn't suddenly have a dream job, fall out of the sky, and into his lap. There were interviews, salary negotiations, reference checks, etc. He went home, finalized it, and got to get rid of you over the phone without actually having to face what he had done.
    via u/Dachshundmom5
  • 25
    I'm so sorry. I know you must be hurt. He wasn't really planning a future with you. He was planning a backup. You deserve so much better. Make sure he's blocked and do NOT take any attempts from him to you
    via u/Dachshundmom5
  • 26
    jasonwright15 • 17h ago. Break ups are rough. Especially when someone is lying and leaving you as second choice. That s s! People s k. I hope you feel better soon.
    via u/jasonwright15
  • 27
    hecatonchires266 • 17h ago • How can he take a job offer without even considering the fact his girlfriend already expected him to move in with her? What a selfish disgrace of a man. You deserve so much better.
    via u/hecatonchires266
  • 28
    RebelliousInNature • 17h ago He made his choice honey, this is one you need to chalk up to experience..And choose yourself. Sounds like you're getting some amazing things going on too. Sometimes things just don't go the way we plan. Sometimes people let you down. Protect yourself, build back better.
    via u/RebelliousInNature

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boyfriend dream job loyalty workplace-stories break up university relationship status lies work graduate back up plan askreddit relationships girlfriend future Reddit heartbreaking relationship drama
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