'Can we socialize this idea?': Cringey Corporate Jargon Guaranteed to Give Employees the Ick

Corporate jargon is gross.

Whichever middle-management wannabe came up with the collective obsession with 'company culture' probably also ideated that professional, yet 'fun', lingo we use in the office. And they deserve the worst punishment known to man. We're at work–in an office–we don't need to try and make it spicy by calling our meetings 'huddles' or 'scrums'.

Call it what it is, Lisa, a C-level yap session to make pompous suits feel validated cashing out their self-appointed $50,000 bonus check.

So, while corporate employees lose brain cells staring at semi-dysfunctional spreadsheets, smelling the coffee machine burning this morning's brew in the break room, corporate jargon bounces around in their heads. In the workplace, we don't need to overdo it on the positivity–realistically, we're all just here from 9 am to 5 pm, Monday through Friday so that we can 'live the dream' on the weekends, enjoying our 48 hours of freedom in the real world where circling back isn't a thing and putting on a fake, hype smile when you say 'Good morning' to your big boss in the elevator. Because on the weekends, we're free from the cringe of corporate jargon.

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Jesse Kessenheimer

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