'He wouldn't stop quoting "Monty Python"': 30+ Petty reasons people gave for breaking up with their partners

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Sep 27, 2024 5:00 PM EDT

One person dumped someone for texting with too many emojis, while someone else ended things because their date wasn't using enough emojis! In the dating world, it's impossible to know what people's expectations will be---just ask the people who commented on this interesting r/AskReddit thread. One person asked for the "most petty reason you had for breaking up with someone," and over a thousand people responded with their hilarious moments of heartbreak. 

You probably know pretty quickly if you're going to form a strong connection with someone or not. If a tiny little thing bugs you into dumping them, it just wasn't meant to be. One person realized that they didn't want to date a person who clinked her silverware into her teeth as she ate, and that small reason was enough to end things. A different person got the ick when her date showed up wearing cowboy boots (not sure what's wrong with that, but it was enough of a reason for that person!). Keep scrolling to read a bunch of funny and petty breakup stories. 

Up next, these job candidates shared what happened during their worst interviews ever, like one where "The recruiter started to fold my CV into a paper plane."

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    Cheezburger Image 10409913088
    via Jayson Hinrichsen on Unsplash+

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    What is the most petty reason you had for breaking up with someone?
    via u/[deleted]
  • 03
    MrRips Up It was too hard to park by her apartment
    via u/MrRipS***Up
  • 04
    GumbyGamer Ex told me she broke up with her first boyfriend because she didn't feel like shopping for his birthday gift. Then broke up with me two weeks before mine...
    via u/GumbyGamer
  • 05
    Chaps_and_salsa She scraped her teeth on her utensils when she ate. I just couldn't.
    via u/Chaps_and_salsa
  • 06
    tyvinci18 She let me know how many calories were in my bacon cheese fries in disgust.
    via u/tyvinci18
  • 07
    [deleted] She said I ate "poor people food." I am poor. What do you expect, steak and lobster every night?
    via u/[deleted]
  • 08
    Mariefo They said my sister wasn't pretty. I was 14 and very protective of my older sister.
    via u/Mariefo
  • 09
    chris_haynes98 Some girl broke up with me because I didn't use enough emojis while texting
    via u/chris_haynes98
  • 10
    E1vian My ex girlfriend in first grade sneezed into my sweatshirt and got snot all over the sleeve. She always had the sniffles and looking back it was kinda sad but I'm not choosing you over my sweater. Sorry Shelby.
    via u/E1vian
  • 11
    [deleted] I love cooking especially breakfast foods. She did not like eggs. I'm like can I really spend the rest of my life. with some one who won't be eating eggs with me on weekend mornings when we're old? No. I could not.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 12
    _helloalien I was 12 and my friend told me to or else they'd stop playing with me. In hindsight that was a very bad friend as I'd liked this boy for a while.
    via u/_helloalien
  • 13
    kitticrass He talked with a really posh accent and called his mum 'mummy'. It grated on me so bad after a couple of weeks.
    via u/kitticrass
  • 14
    cryptidkelp He got a haircut. It looked so bad I realized I wasn't actually attracted to him and just liked the attention.
    via u/cryptidkelp
  • 15
    poptart_divinat... I'm not proud of how I handled this one, but it was his accent. It was a very thick rural Alabama accent and while I did try to check my issues, I just couldn't see me getting around it. Last I heard he was married and a father, so I'm glad there are better people out there than me.
    via u/poptart_divination
  • 16
    TheOrangeBan... She didn't think it was fair to me waiting for her to come back from deployment....after she had already gone away for 3 months. Like, woman, I already made the sacrifice of not being able to see you as often as I'd like, if I wasn't very much aware of that fact I would have never dated you in the first place.
    via u/TheOrangeBanana007
  • 17
    valentine415 Smoked inside and didn't change litter box often. I never even brought it up or talked about it, they were confused. I just couldn't be in their house.
    via u/valentine415
  • 18
    [deleted] In 8th grade a girl broke up with me for selling her Reese's cup for a dollar. She really did not appreciate the gross profit in the transaction and that now she could buy two more Reese's cups. I tried really hard to argue I didn't really sell her Reese's cup but rather doubled the number of candy she had. Oh well, it
    via u/[deleted]
  • 19
    was at the two week mark anyway so it was time to move on. But that's the reason she gave. Best girl I ever kissed up to that point too. Of the two she was the best. It was a bummer.
    via u/[deleted]
  • 20
    JelloCute My mom broke up with a guy she really really liked, because he couldn't roller skate. She was like 13?
    via u/JelloCute
  • 21
    swervefire I used to break up with guys over the pettiest commenting on my appearance, liking lol. rollercoasters, not liking star wars, siding with the institute in fallout 4, killing spiders, having long arm hair, things like that. modern day Seinfeld . they weren't very long lived relationships anyway so I didnt feel like I was being
    via u/swervefire
  • 22
    too harsh, i was just like. Okay so I'm picky, that's fine turns out i was just a lesbian but in denial
    via u/swervefire
  • 23
    laterdude She was to the waiter. Keep in mind this was twenty years ago before everyone realized treatment of the waiter was the key to understanding character. Back then, everyone thought I was batshit insane and petty since all she did was snap her fingers at him like he was a common dog.
    via u/swervefire
  • 24
    TRIGMILLION showed up at my door wearing cowboy boots.
    via u/TRIGMILLION
  • 25
    thirdeye72meat... I didn't like her dog.
    via u/thirdeye72meatman
  • 26
    SassiestPants He didn't help my mom carry her luggage when we were driving her to the airport.
    via u/SassiestPants
  • 27
    raininginmaui A guy I dated refused to eat Pizza
    via u/raininginmaui
  • 28
    CarelessWasabi Does Elementary school count? It was one of those """relationships"""" that don't really mean anything, since we were kids. I didn't really care about it either, it was just a way to feel more grown up, but I also wanted to taste some of that drama that breaking up causes. So I needed an excuse to break up with this poor 8 yearold
    via u/CarelessWasabi
  • 29
    boy, and I came up with the dumbest idea ever: on Valentine's day he gave me a heart-shaped chocolate as a gift, and I put it in a pocket I had on my sweater to save it for later. I forgot I put it there and during the day it melt inside the pocket, staining it. I blamed the boy, saying "you knew I would have put it there, you knew it would melt! It's YOUR fault!"
    via u/CarelessWasabi
  • 30
    And that was my great excuse for useless drama. Later I found out he was hitting on every other girl in our class while being with me, so I regret nothing lol. I don't even know if it would count as petty but I thought it would be fun to share.
    via u/CarelessWasabi
  • 31
    Ntanios She was expecting me to pay for everything - I was a medical student working two jobs to get by
    via u/Ntanios
  • 32
    F... Because he wouldn't share his moms fresh baked cookies. I was told there would be fresh baked cookies. He happened to leave out that I couldn't have any of them.
    via u/Forgotenzepazzword
  • 33
    Gay4Gyro He wouldn't stop quoting Monty Python
    via u/Gay4Gyro
  • 34
    whatevermiranda Broke up with a guy cuz he kept spoiling things for me. He was one of those guys who has seen every movie and tv show known to man and would constantly force me to watch them, proceed to talk his head off, and then give away the endings
    via u/whatevermiranda
  • 35
    ibaRRaVzLa My first ex girlfriend would always threaten me to break up for the silliest . She once said she was going to break up with me because I made fun of a mutual friend of ours for failing a test. This was in college.
    via u/ibaRRaVzLa
  • 36
    AptGarbage He used too many emojis when texting
    via u/AptGarbage
  • 37
    grramar She would text me when i was watching netflix and it got annoying
    via u/grramar
  • 38
    AWest87 She ate her peas one at a time.
    via u/AWest87
  • 39
    cmanonurshirt She ordered chicken tenders at Steak'n'Shake and then ate only one before saying she was done...she was the one that wanted to go to Steak'n'Shake
    via u/cmanonurshirt
  • 40
    yamacat88 Not me but a buddy had a girl he dated all through high school. They were the couple everyone thought would be together forever. She had a back issue and my buddy broke up with her after high school because he didn't want to marry her and have to deal with the surgery bills down the road
    via u/yamacat88
  • 41
    danger_weasel She was a tight and really stingy with her money but was happy to be paid for on dates and outings without reciprocating.
    via u/danger_weasel
  • 42
    Wylaff I broke up with a very sweet girl because my friends thought her smile was too big. I loved her smile...
    via u/Wylaff
  • 43
    Doomdoomkitty... Once because her father was bald, and I wouldn't want to do that to the kids. Another because they lived on the other side of town, and it was a chore to meet up.
    via u/Doomdoomkittydoom

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opinion ask reddit funny stories askreddit petty funny opinions dating fails dates bad dates relationships first dates dating dating advice
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