After Finding Out His Daughter Isn’t His Bio Child, Man Leaves Without a Word, Only to Come Back a Decade Later to Make Amends

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 4, 2024 3:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. The relationship between a parent and child is precious; how you treat your offspring has indelible effects on him or her, and there's no replacing the love between a parent and child. Learning to live life without it is traumatic and heartbreaking, there's no reason to put a child through that, unless the person is essentially heartless. 

In this particular Reddit thread, the original poster (OP) is a woman whose father abandoned her upon finding out she's not his bio daughter. After years of suffering and moving past it, she found her real bio father, who's taken the place of dad to her, and supported her in her life. Almost a decade later, the father who abandoned her wants back into her life. Now, what would you do in that situation? Read the full story below for all the gritty details. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH ⚫ 2 days ago Winter-Reward6051 AITA for not inviting my "father" because he disowned me after knowing that I wasn't his biological child
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 02
    So let's get into it I guess. Almost a decade ago my dad found out that my mom cheated on him with another guy years ago through my mother's sister. Back then my mom and aunt weren't in good terms so she told dad everything.
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 03
    My parents fought over this and dad filled for divorce. We all got dna tested and out of 3 children i was the only one who wasn't his. It felt so bad to know that your dad who raised you for almost 16 years wasn't really your dad. That didn't feel as bad as him kicking me out of his house when I was begging him not too.
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 04
    I wished I could just kill myself when he disowned me. My mom went into a depressive state and would just spend all day in bed and would just get out to use the toilet. My grandparents lived in a different state but they did everything they could to make our lives better. I needed to come home from school do all the
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 05
    chores in the house and tend to my mom and check on her. I did everything that could possibly be done to make sure we lived. I would ask my mom who my real dad was but all I got was screaming or a hit. My siblings and grandparents from dad's side tried to make things right between me and dad but he
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 06
    wouldn't budge. Apparently I was just a reminder that mom cheated on him and nothing else.
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 07
    I remember my 17th birthday when no one remembered that it was my birthday. I cried to the point where I didn't have any tears left even when I graduated from highschool only my grandmother came. Why didn't my feelings matter to anyone? Why was I supposed to endure. this? After I returned from my
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 08
    graduation I told mom that I was leaving if she doesn't tell me who my real dad is and this time she did tell me who he was I met him after finding where he lived I discovered that I have a half brother and that my real father was a widower and a doctor. He didn't know that i existed or the fact that mom was married. it
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 09
    took us time but we built a bond and he helped to get through college and he walked me down the aisle. He even got mom some help and I am forever grateful to him.
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 10
    Well present time me I (26 f) was married to my lovely fiancé last week and I didn't invite my ex dad to My wedding. He tried to contact me before the wedding but i don't want anything to do with him. My siblings and grandparents from ex dad's side say i am wrong and that he wanted to come and make things
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 11
    right but I don't want to make things right. He had the right to abandon me so I have a right to do the same. He isn't my father. He was once upon a time but not now I understand that he was hurt but I was hurt too. Everyone tells me to let go of the grudge but i just don't want him in my life and no i won't give him
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 12
    another chance. My husband understands but no one else seems to understand what I had to go through to get to where I am now. He cannot just come to my life 9 and a half years later and expect things to be alright. AITAH?
    via u/Winter-Reward6051
  • 13
    ProfPlum Didlt • 2d ago NTA. Tell everyone that you aren't holding a grudge and don't wish him ill, that you're just unwilling to reopen a wound that you've worked so hard to start healing. That you need to remain no contact
    via u/ProfPlum Didlt
  • 14
    in order to continue your healing journey, so you wish him peace but your paths diverged 10 years ago and will never meet again.
    via u/ProfPlum Didlt
  • 15
    Silver-Forever-7... • 2d ago • I don't blame you at all for not inviting him. He made his choice when he disowned you, and that caused a deep hurt that doesn't just go away. You've already rebuilt your life and found a real father figure who supported you. You
    via u/Silver-Forever-7
  • 16
    have every right to protect your peace and keep him out. It's not about holding a grudge, it's about making sure you don't let someone back in who caused you so much pain. You owe him nothing, especially not forgiveness on his terms.
    via u/Silver-Forever-7
  • 17
    Sea-Ad9057.2d ago • nta and where was the rest of your siblings when you had to do everything for your self and your graduation etc
    via u/Sea-Ad9057
  • 18
    Wonderful-Ask-... 2d ago • He made crystal clear he didn't want to be part of your life; let him live forever with the consequences of that decision.
    via u/Wonderful-Ask
  • 19
    Ostrich Connect... • 2d ago It's tough to be disowned, especially after being raised by someone. You've built a new family and found support. It's okay to set boundaries with those who hurt you.
    via u/Ostrich Connect
  • 20
    thecutieviolet • 2d ago • You're not obligated to forgive someone just because they suddenly want back in your life. He made. his choice when he walked away, and you're making yours now.
    via u/thecutieviolet

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