Man Accuses Wife of Cheating on Him After She Becomes Pregnant, He Demands Paternity Test But She Finds Out He Was the One Cheating [Update]

Author image for Briana Viser
Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Aug 26, 2024 1:00 PM EDT

Welcome back internet enthusiasts. Gaslighters and narcissists really know how to play games with our heads. It's a common and typical tactic to project your insecurities on your partner, knowing you're the one indeed who's at fault. If your partner so vehemently accuses you of cheating out of nowhere, well there's a good chance they're the one cheating. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. A woman comes home to her husband and tells him that she's pregnant. Expecting a happy and ecstatic reaction, she's met with anger and hostility. He even denies that it's his. He demands a paternity test, though she's given him no signs that she's ever cheated. After some time passes, she checks his phone. Her gut instinct was telling her something, and lo and behold, her gut was right. He was just projecting the entire time. 

For a link to the original article from CheezCake, click here. 

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  • 01
    I'd been scrolling through comment after comment for what feels like forever. A lot of you said he was cheating. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to him being told he was infertile or something but I ended up getting a really bad sinking feeling in my gut that I should check his phone.
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 2 days ago p1nkribbon Update: AITA for saying I'm second-guessing having a baby with my husband after he asked for a paternity test?
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 03
    Hi everybody, this isn't gonna be a super crazy update saying we got the test back and he got a secret vasectomy etc etc. But it's kind of a big one. This might be a long post so I'll put a TLDR at the bottom.
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  • 04
    Thank you for everyone's kind words and advice. It was all super helpful, including criticism because it really made me reflect on my behavior and how I handled the situation. On top of that, I'm so sorry that I didn't. really respond to any comments. There were a lot just coming in non stop and it was a little overwhelming...
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  • 05
    Moving on. After I made that post and he came home from work, I cooked him his favorite dinner and let him relax a bit before I calmly approached the subject again. I told him that I was happy to do the paternity test, just that I was a little hurt that he would accuse me of cheating on him, because I loved
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  • 06
    him a lot and would hate to make him feel that way. I also apologized for what I said.
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  • 07
    I asked him if he was just overwhelmed/scared from the news and that's why he accused me like he did. He said that wasn't it and that was genuinely his biggest concern. He then told me he wasn't willing to talk to me, say anything else, or negotiate about anything until after we get the test done.
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 08
    I asked if he was sure and he practically yelled at me telling me to drop the subject for now. So I did. And so things have been super tense.
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  • 09
    I'd been scrolling through comment after comment for what feels like forever. A lot of you said he was cheating. I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt and chalk it up to him being told he was infertile or something but I ended up getting a really bad sinking feeling in my gut that I should check his phone.
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 10
    I never wanted to be the type of person that goes through their SO's phone obsessively for no reason, but my gut has never really steered me wrong so I did it last night while he was sleeping. I snuck his phone off his nightstand and went out to the living room.
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 11
    He's cheating on me. And if that wasn't bad enough, it is, indeed, with my friend I mentioned in the last post. Like a lot of you said. I guess it does make sense now that I think about it but I'm still really shocked. (I'd never been suspicious of their relationship before) But after reading the comments I realize her reaction was a red flag
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  • 12
    I went through their texts, and from what I can tell it's only been going on for a few months and started after we got married. But really I only focused on the texts from right after I told him I was pregnant. He texted her saying things like:
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  • 13
    "I don't know what I was thinking when I decided to her without a condom" "She says it's mine OF COURSE but I swear to god it better not be. I'll be happy if it isn't"
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  • 14
    "Obviously I don't want a kid with her I'd rather be with you than be stuck with her" (you in this context being my friend) "I know I should've been careful"
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  • 15
    "I don't care if she thinks I'm a or an awful husband right now" (This was his reply when my friend told him that I came to her about the situation)
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  • 16
    So yeah. Those were just a few messages, but their conversations were hard to read and I ended up crying a lot. I screenshotted the messages, sent them to myself from his phone, deleted the texts on his phone so it looked like he'd never sent anything, and then deleted the screenshots (and deleted them from the
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 17
    recently deleted folder) I also went on his laptop to check if they were deleted there too.
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  • 18
    From his texts I gathered that he did not have a secret vasectomy that failed, nor does he think he is sterile since he said himself that he should have been more careful and he doesn't know what he was thinking. I don't think he'd be saying that if he thought he was infertile.
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  • 19
    I also want to say that yes he knows I'm not currently on birth control. And he was the one that decided not to use a condom, not me. I just agreed. I did not pressure him. At first he was pulling out but occasionally he wouldn't.
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  • 20
    I don't know why he would continue not wearing a condom occasionally after the affair started. I'm guessing it was because telling me he no longer wanted to go without protection every time no matter what would make me suspicious?
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  • 21
    But that's basically it for now. I am not going to confront him about cheating right away. I am going to get the test, then confront him and tell him I want a divorce along with the test results. I mean, that's currently my plan but my mind is also all over the place so maybe that's not the best way to do this? I
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 22
    don't know. It's like 6am, I feel like, and I haven't gotten any sleep lol I almost forgot to mention that I am going to get an STD test just to be safe.
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  • 23
    I think I am going to get an abortion just because I don't want my first full term pregnancy to be literal when it should be a happy experience :( But thank you to everybody congratulating me. It means a lot.
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 24
    The next update will probably be after the paternity test..or whenever I feel like I need to update.
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  • 25
    TLDR: Husband is cheating on me with my friend from last post, is definitely fertile and didn't get a secret vasectomy. I'm getting the paternity test and divorce papers to go along with them. And probably an abortion.
    via u/p1nkribbon
  • 26
    Fr... 2d ago • Edited 2d ago Don't force yourself to stay in a toxic place while waiting. Leave while he's at work. Gather all your things and be out by the time he gets home. A friend's place, parents', relatives; whoever, doesn't matter.
    via u/Fr
  • 27
    I would put both the paternity test results and the divorce papers in an envelope for him. If he needs to be served the papers then do that. Keep his number unblocked, but do not engage with any calls or messages.
    via u/Fr
  • 28
    Dachshundmom5 • 2d ago Get the test. While you wait for the results. Get a lawyer. Tell people close to you. While he's at work, get the essentials out of the house and be gone. Do NOT be alone when you tell him you want a divorce.
    via u/Dachshundmom5

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