Top of The Heap: Hilarious Moments From The Lives Of New Yorker Cats

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  • 01
    Cat - "I've never been to New York, but I'd love to see the Natural History Museum. I'd like to learn how we've evolved over thousands of years, and what we did before the invention of cardboard. - Aggie, Gold Coast, Australia
  • 02
    Cat - "I won't chase this toy every time because I don't want to set some sort of expectation. I don't need everyone here thinking I'm going to save the day if a real mouse makes it inside. - Ella, Astoria
  • 03
    Wood - "I'm kind of an introvert, but I don't consider myself antisocial. I like to have a good time. It's just that my idea of having a good time is watching other people have a good time. And preferably from somewhere they can't really see me. - Boo, Astoria
  • 04
    Cat - "I like this time of year. Summer's over, everyone's kind of back and just getting focused on work. I look forward to it." "You look forward to work? "Well, yeah. What I consider work. Which is pretty much just this, what I'm doing right now. - Orange, Park Slope
  • 05
    Cat - StretchandSeratcha "A lot of people think we're the same cat, or that we're twins. But we're just siblings. Born a few minutes apart. Turkey was born earlier, and she's always reminding me. Like she knows better because she's been around for a few extra minutes. - June & Turkey, Upper East Side ASPCA
  • 06
    Cat - PENN "We get a bad rap for being selfish, but I think maybe you're expecting too much. How am I supposed to do anything for anyone else if I can't leave the apartment? - Khaleesi, Chelsea
  • 07
    Cat - "What if I told you there was an internet that only cats could access, and it was all pictures and videos of humans?" - Gwen, Upper East Side ASPCA
  • 08
    Cat - "Last year I decided to try sitting on every flat surface in the house at least once. I'm about halfway there. The whole thing feels daunting, but you have to set goals like that for yourself so you don't feel like you're wasting your life." - Stevie, Gold Coast, Australia
  • 09
    Cat - "I've known a lot of cardboard boxes in my life, and I've loved them all, for different reasons. Each one taught me something different about myself. There's a few I miss more than others, but ultimately I'm happy to have had each and every one." - Moxie, Upper East Side ASPCA
  • 10
    Cat - BOKES DSCO "Two dogs tried to come in here once and I put a quick stop to it. We used to let them in, but too many of them just couldn't handle themselves. They acted like, well, dogs. You know, sniffing and slobbering all over the merchandise. Zero class. I said 'Keep that outside please. I'm trying to run a business here." and they left. - Unknown, Tribeca
  • 11
    Cat - "Two things I love: wet food, and having the tips of my ears rubbed. Two things I hate: flies, and people who don't want to rub the tips of my ears." - Jacob, Upper East Side ASPCA
  • 12
    Cat - "People say they own' cats or they have' cats, and quite honestly, l'd like to change that language. We have each other. So maybe when you're talking to your friends instead of saying We have two cats. maybe you say 'We live with two cats." "Yeah, but that kind of implies you're paying rent too." "What's rent?
  • 13
    Cat - "I went to culinary school. I tried to open my own pastry shop, but I quickly found out I was up against a bureaucracy that was beyond my comprehension, and pretty intolerant. I had everything in place, but the health inspector shut us down as soon as he realized my staff was all cats." -Scout, Astoria
  • 14
    Cat - "Every afternoon I sit in this chair for three hours, then fall asleep on the couch for two hours. I stick to a pretty rigid schedule throughout the day actually. At night is when it all goes to hell. I'm pretty unpredictable after 1 a.m, but aren't we all? - Margot, Sunset Park
  • 15
    Cat - "I don't remember being a kitten. I think that's why it's so tough for me to connect with youth culture. - Tux, Sunset Park
  • 16
    Cat - "I would like to be pushed through Central Park in a stroller at least once in my life. Everyone would say Hey look at that cat in a stroller!. Then l'd wave to them, and they'd say 'Hey, that cat can wave. - Anderson, Upper East Side ASPCA

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