Aunt refuses to take 8-year-old niece out for meals after she continuously orders $50 worth of food and refuses to eat it: 'She will ask for 50 piece nuggets, large fries, deluxe quarter pounder with cheese and two shakes with two ice creams'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Oct 4, 2024 6:00 PM EDT

It ain't always easy being the fun aunt. You get the opportunity to spend a lot of money on your nieces and nephews and spend quality time with them, but you don't have the authority to parent them. If your siblings or your partner's siblings have parented them well, they should be able to understand that when an authority figure says "no," they mean it and not fight it, but that's not the case for many children. I've seen loads of parenting TikToks that advise moms and dads not to outright say no to their kids but to redirect them to a more desirable option. That might work when your kid is two, but what if they're eight and literally can't take "no" for an answer without having a full-blown meltdown? That's the reason why one aunt decided to stop including her brother's stepdaughter in her special days with her niblings.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10412228608
    via Getty Images (Unplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to have kid outings with my brothers kids?
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 03
    I (26f) do kid outings with my kids and my nieces and nephews on occasion. I don't take them all together. I'll break it up by family. So my oldest sisters kids and mine, then middle sisters, then my SIL (husband's sister) and I have tried to include my brothers kids. But my brother's kids are proving to be a problem for me and especially with the complaints from my brother's wife.
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 04
    So my brother's oldest is his stepdaughter. He has been raising her from the age of four with his wife and after four years of marriage they also have a 1 year old together. She isn't treated any differently than any other nieces and nephews but her behavior is too much for me and even when I can kinda manage, my decisions on how to causes problems. She's more demanding and will argue to get me to buy her a toy and tantrums when told no. So I can avoid going near stores where she could see somet
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 05
    fast food, she will ask for dessert and no lunch/dinner. If I say no she screams. So I stopped having her as long or I'd time it when I wouldn't need to buy her food. But my brother's wife did not like that. She told me I feed all the other kids, I should feed hers. Then she got that I refused to spend the money on whatever she wanted me to order. I told her that's a lot of waste (both food and money). She told me it's not her problem. I told her I don't want it to be mine either. My brother tol
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 06
    But now she's complaining because I don't take their kids on these outings. She told me I'm playing favorites with blood, even though the 1 year old IS blood and I'm not asking to just take them. I told her I would not take them in the conditions they expect me to meet. AITA?
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 07
    Just some examples of the food she demands: McDonald's order she will ask for: 50 piece nuggets, large fries, deluxe quarter pounder with cheese and two shakes with two ice creams. Local pizza place: her own large pizza, pasta bites, cheese pites and garlic bread sticks with a share dessert (this is a dessert usually meant for four). Sushi place: 4 sushi platters, two different kinds of fried rice and a big dessert (with 2-3 drinks).
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 08
    Someone You Dont Know70 NTA. If your SIL wants her kid to eat more than the other kids, she should pay the difference herself instead of imposing that burden on you. You're not obligated to parent your brother's kids.
    via u/SomeoneDontKnow70
  • 09
    Standard-Upstairs563 OP It's not that she'll even eat all that. It goes to waste and the money is spent on it. But they don't want to pay. She feels it should be on me since I pay for the other kids. But they don't order more than they can eat.
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 10
    Username1736294 Your SIL does realize that you pay for what the other kids eat, so I assume like a $4 happy meal... and not $52 worth of McDonald's that will end up in the trash, right? Love that she says "not my problem" and that you need to deal with it, about her own child's behavioral problems.
    via u/Username1736294
  • 11
    Someone You DontKnow70 Honestly, this is not the child's fault. It's her parents for not teaching her boundaries. If they weren't constantly caving into these unreasonable demands, she wouldn't be making them anymore. It's crazy that they're not backing you up on this. Instead of being honest with their kid and telling them that they're experiencing the natural consequences of acting like a brat on family outings, they're trying to pin this crazy situation on you.
    via u/SomeoneDontKnow70
  • 12
    Phoenix_rise- Bless your heart. I've been there. My nieces ordered like linebackers and ate nothing. My husband kept having to pull into sonic for his dam flavored cokes and every single trip was 10 bucks minimum because her kids wanted food, every single time. When I tried to limit them, my sister had a tantrum as well. Told me I couldn't limit her stepdaughter because her bio mom didn't feed her. That wasn't my issue. The issue was she never ate any of it. Open her burger or chicken whatever a
    via u/Phoenix_rise-
  • 13
    She always ate what the kids didn't. Her ex threatened to keep the kids away when we visited if i "starved" his kids. Nothing i ever did or said really worked. I would just buy a cheap happy meal and toss the food at my sister when we were done. Sometimes saying they could have a chicken strip or burger, and not allowing them to choose worked. I've never seen 3 kids waste so much food in my life. Unless mom is paying for the food, stand your ground. There's no reason to order enough food for a f
    via u/Phoenix_rise-
  • 14
    CuriousEmphasis7698 NTA. The kid is demanding unreasonable amounts of food and sounds like they are disruptive and having emotional regulation issues. How old is this kid? The quantities of food that you mentioned aren't reasonable or normal for an adult much less a kid. Is the kid eating everything ordered or wasting a ton of food? I would have a serious talk with your brother because there may very well be a medical or mental health issue going on here.
    via u/CuriousEmphasis7698
  • 15
    Standard-Upstairs563 OP She's 8 and her parents are not concerned. I have told them exactly how much she orders and the fact she doesn't eat anywhere near that amount.
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 16
    CandylandCanada Let's see how concerned they are in four or five years when she is hormonal and completely out of control.
    via u/CandylandCanada
  • 17
    mizfit416 Oh, no. I would stop with taking out to eat. Try a picnic with sandwiches. If princess doesn't like it, she doesn't eat. I don't envy you. ΝΤΑ.
    via u/mizfit416
  • 18
    Standard-Upstairs563 OP Yeah, that doesn't work very well either. So much trouble with snacks I tried to bring on a few outings. It's such a headache because she wants way more than she can eat and wastes food and money!!! Her parents don't want to pay for it either.
    via u/Standard-Upstairs563
  • 19
    CrazyCranberry3333 Honestly, I wouldn't even attempt to change the way you're doing things to avoid this issue. Just stop it all together. Either she learns or she doesn't. Matter of fact: "this has nothing to do with how she is related to me. She is attempting to order xyz which costs xyz. When I suggest a reasonable order with the opportunity to purchase more if she's hungry, I am met with a temper tantrum or her attempting to purchase more food behind my back. Until she can learn to accept no
    via u/CrazyCranberry3333
  • 20
    Not sure if you mentioned age but if she's old enough to understand the above. Tell her that too. If her parents won't teach her to stop being an entitled brat maybe you can. It'll help her later on in life
    via u/CrazyCranberry3333
  • 21
    TallLoss2 tbh at this point it needs to be a "you eat what i offer you, or you don't eat" situation. obviously offer her a couple options so she has a choice, but those are The Options - no circumventing or negotiating. she'll figure it out pretty quick lol
    via u/TallLoss2
  • 22
    Natural_Garbage7674 NTA. You aren't treating her differently, you're being asked to treat her like she's special. You're being asked to buy her more things and waste more money on her than any of the other kids. They've overcorrected too far. Instead of reinforcing that she's no different from the other kids, they've come to the conclusion that she deserves more because they don't see her as equal. Either they learn to effectively manage their child's expectations or they don't get help. If they
    via u/Natural_Garbage7674

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