Woman Questions Husband’s Morals After She Meets His Married Friend’s Mistress, Realizes That Several Friends of His Openly Cheat on Their Wives

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 19, 2024 9:00 PM EDT

You can trust your partner wholeheartedly, but if they're hanging around friends who have questionable morals, you'd start questioning your partner's morals, too. I mean, how could your partner be okay with others taking part in infidelity if they didn't believe in it themselves? Do you want to be best gal pals with your husband's friend's mistress? Likely not. I'd even consider it strange if one didn't question their partner's judgment if they were friends with cheaters, even if said cheaters claim the arrangement works for their marriage.

The original poster (OP) of this story thought she had met her husband's friend's wife. Her husband's friend openly admits (in a laughing manner) that the woman she had met is not his wife. Flabbergasted, the OP asks her husband who the woman is, and he explains that she is his mistress who "he actually loves and takes everywhere". This brings up many different emotions for the OP, especially because she has previously expressed that she feels like a "trophy wife" while her husband lives it up with his "bachelor" friends. She refuses to see eye-to-eye on this one because if her husband is okay with being around this type of behavior, he might be okay with taking part in it, too.

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    she the mother of his kids? Is she basically his mistress? He explained to me that he's on an arranged religious marriage so it's different and "this is the girl he actually loves and takes everywhere"
    via Unsplash (Jake Nackos)
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    AITA for judging my husband after he introduced me to his friend's mistress
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    So me (25f) and my husband (30m) went out to dinner with this friend he's always talking about and I didn't got the chance to meet before. Husband told me he's married with kids, and he's always inviting us out but
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    we have kids too, I am a SAHM with no support system close by, so in order to go out we had to arrange child care. I asked who's coming to dinner and he mentions this friend and "his girl",
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    other couple that I do know and us. Dinner was really nice, I had a great time and actually clicked immediately with this woman, most of my husband's friends are
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    bachelors so I found it cool that he's friends with this couple I can relate more to, we even planned a trip during the dinner and they showed us all this amazing places they've traveled to.
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    When is time to leave we all got out of the restaurant but she's on the restroom, it's freezing cold so we said bye and I told his friend "say bye to your wife, it was really nice to meet her" he looked at me, laughed and says
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    "she's not my wife" I am SHOCKED so I go like "oh sorry my bad" We got in the car and I'm speechless, so my husband asks me what's wrong and I asked him what was that about, isn't
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    she the mother of his kids? Is she basically his mistress? He explained to me that he's on an arranged religious marriage so it's different and "this is the girl he actually loves and takes everywhere"
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    That doesn't make me feel better at all cause a lot of our arguments are about me feeling like the trophy wife holding it down at home while he's living his
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    best life with his bachelor friends, I know at least other 2 friends of his that cheat openly on their wives the same exact way, and he always says he's nobody to judge them, so I
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    told him I just think is sh*tty that most of your friends play to have wifey at home taking care of the kids while they're out living their best bachelor lives, and that if it was me the one always hanging out with cheater he would feel some type of way too.
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    I can honestly say I relate to my closest friends, they're good woman with good values, I don't see how I could hang out regularly with cheaters and woman I simply don't
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    relate to, so at this point I'm just not buying it that he's the only one different in his friends circle. I don't know if I'm being insecure, but I really feel stupid, and now he's the
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    one that's upset because I ruined the night based on something that is out of his control and that he's nobody to judge his friends personal life.
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    TI:DR husband introduced me to his friend mistress on a dinner and the whole time I thought she was his wife and mother of his kids, I found out when we're saying bye, got upset at husband cause with this is already a
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    couple of his friends that I know cheat openly on their wives, and he got upset at me because that something out of his control and I'm judging him for somebody else actions. AITA?
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  • 18
    MaybeTypical8... • 4h ago NTA. It's totally fair to feel weird. about this. Finding out your husband's friend brought his mistress instead of his wife would throw anyone off. Plus, if a lot of his friends. openly cheat, it makes sense you'd be uncomfortable with that
    via MaybeTypical8680
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    crowd. Your feelings are valid, especially if it makes you question things in your own relationship. It's not about controlling who he hangs out with, but about how it impacts you and your values. He should at least understand why this bothers you instead of brushing it off.
    via MaybeTypical8680
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    Fairy Daydr... 4h ago NTA Birds of a feather flock together is an expression for a reason. I would be questioning your husbands values if all his friends cheat
    via FairyF***Daydreams
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    Maya2661 5h ago NTA If your husband support cheating people then I would wonder how his moral functions. Is he cheating on you? Can you trust him?
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    Unlucky-Captai... 4h ago Morals and values of the people you choose to surround yourself with are important.
    via Unlucky-Captain1431
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    These Economi... . 1h ago It shows your husband is cool with it and is probably getting a lot of negative. influence from his friends. NTA and best of luck navigating this
    via These_Economist3523

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Dating-Relationships relationship advice marriage drama affairs affair mistress lies relationship-drama cheat reddit story marriage-drama relationships sneaky cheating relationship feud cheater Reddit cheated on hiding toxic relationship
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