Sister-in-law prevents siblings from using family cabin by booking it every winter weekend, they find out she's been ‘lending’ the cabin to friends and her privileges get revoked

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 21, 2024 10:00 AM EDT

Splitting up a piece of land or a second home amongst your siblings and in-laws can get messy if nobody can agree to be an adult about it. Your siblings or in-laws might reveal the raging entitlement they kept hidden for so long beneath their possibly faux niceties.

The most effective course of action is to reach out to them and try to understand why they booked your grandparents' winter cabin every single weekend in the winter. Possibly, ask them why they thought it was okay to call dibs on a shared home and not blink twice about it. When they retort back with some excuse that further proves they think their needs should be placed above yours, retreat. Call the grandparents. Let them know what's going on and try to remedy the situation that way. 

Even when your grandparents put their foot down and divvy up the weekends evenly, the entitled in-law will try to force you and everyone else's hand to give up the weekends reserved for all of you. Grandma and Gramps refuse to believe that someone like this has married into the family, so they revoke her privileges completely. Sweet, sweet karma. Scroll to read the whole story.

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    Cheezburger Image 10417061376
    via Unsplash+ (Laura Adai)
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    My sister in law thinks having kids entitles her to are families cabin all winter
    via handsthefram
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    So my grandparents own a cabin near a ski resort about an 1 1/2 hours from where we live. It was used a lot when I was a kid by most of my family, but there was a couple year gap when all of my generation moved away for school that it sat empty. In the
    via handsthefram
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    last few years more of us have moved back and started using the cabin. It was easy to share as only 5 of us use it, and we are all considerate that it's a family. owned place so we message each other about availability and what essentials, like cleaning
    via handsthefram
  • 05
    supplies, need to be replaced. This changed with my brother, his wife and 3 kids. My sister in law always claimed to hate the place, because it's not for entertainment, it's mostly a place for a few people to crash on a ski trip.
    via handsthefram
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    So last year she put her kids on the ski team and went around the rest of the cousins to my grandparents directly saying she wants to use it more often. GPs were ok with this telling them that as long as it's not reserved by others they can use it. She
    via handsthefram
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    preceded to reserve every weekend that winter, not even using half of them. When I asked about getting a weekend she was really weird about it over the phone, so I visited her to find a free weekend. When I asked her about having every weekend
    via handsthefram
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    booked she said "we don't want it every weekend, we just want the ability to go every week and we don't wanna decide until that Friday" she said that with a straight face expecting it to be normal.
    via handsthefram
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    Well I reached out to the other cousins that use it and found out everyone had gotten a similar response from her. Most had just moved back to town and assumed that was normal cause she's the only one with kids. We went to my grandparents as a
    via handsthefram
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    group and explained the situation. They changed the policy, now each of us gets an even amount of weekends that we can swap with each other if we wanted.
    via handsthefram
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    This off my sister-in-law, she's been frantically calling all of us trying to get our weekends. Saying stuff like she already invited friends for specific weekends or her kids need to be there on certain dates. When that failed she started texting all of us
    via handsthefram
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    demanding we not go our weekends. Well we got all the texts together and went to the grandparents, now sister in law can only use the place if she gets confirmation that none of us will be there, so basically never.
    via handsthefram
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    She's still freaking out, but it has gotten my cousins and I closer as we've all agreed to be adults about it and just talk to each other when a conflict arises. Edit: Well this blew up, thanks to the kind responses To answer the most asked questions:
    via handsthefram
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    1. Its not on airbnb or anything like that, i check every year, there is a nearby cabin that is on airbnb that we've used if large groups wanna go up. She could be doing it under the table with friends, but i think its more about clout.
    via handsthefram
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    2. My brother doesnt get involved, he sees himself as above these petty squabbles. But SIL is definately parroting his opinions, I dont think she would do this without his agreement.
    via handsthefram
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    3. My grandparents are awesome, these arent big blowouts with them. They are 2-3 minute parts of longer visits. We mostly adults, we can discuss this stuff quickly and calmly with them.
    via handsthefram
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    4. Yes I wrote are instead of our, I wrote this quickly on my phone on a work break. Sorry to the numerous people who seemed to find that offensive. 5. Yes, Rich people problem. thanks for commenting that
    via handsthefram
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    Justare... . 17h ago. NTA. But dig a little deeper. A while back I read a story where the OP's sisters were renting it out to people. Do you see your brother and SIL to pull something similar?
    via Justaredditor85
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    TheLast... • 17h ago. If she was letting people go up there, then they most likely have keys to the place. Are you guys able to change locks or have security cameras up?
    via TheLastWord63
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    Careles... 17h ago • Your sil is selfish and whiny. I'm glad your grandparents didn't let her her away with it.
    via Careless-Ability-748
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    Watching... • 17h ago She's I off • because she's not getting anything from the people she let stay there - either actual money, or just bragging points. Go, gramps and grandma, you rock!
    via WatchingTellyNow
  • 22
    winree 17h ago . She's renting it out to friends. She just lost her cash cow
    via winree
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    ha... OP 17h ago. • I think it less about cash and more about clout, I think she'd lent it out to friends
    via handsthefram

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feud family drama aita entitlement drama Winter Is Coming sisters resort reddit story family feud sister in law entitled people karma advice in laws entitled family winter sister reddit thread r-entitled Reddit skiing holidays entitled people
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