Man Refuses to Share Inheritance With His Mother After She Was Unsupportive of His Marriage, Leading to Family Showdown

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Oct 20, 2024 12:00 PM EDT

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Family is one of the most important things in life. The entire point of family is that you have people who will love you no matter what, through thick and thin, and always be a support to you. There are, however, people whose family members show them conditional love, versus unconditional. 

In this Reddit thread, the original poster (OP) is a man whose mom has shown him conditional love. Her love and support for him is conditional upon his lifestyle choices and who he decided to marry. She didn't support him in his time of need, and she abandoned him. Now years later, she's begging him to help her out. She wants a share of his inheritance, and she wants him to help her in her old age and increasing health issues. He battles with the idea for a while, until he ultimately decides to just leave her alone. But you'll have to read the full story below for all the juicy details. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 1 day ago Mindless_School2475 AITAH for refusing to give my inheritance to my mom after she disowned me for marrying my husband?
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 02
    I (31M) have had a rocky relationship with my mom, Kara. Growing up, she was very set in her beliefs about same- relationships and race. She would often say things like, "I don't hate anyone, but I wouldn't want my son living that way," and "I raised you better than this."
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 03
    Five years ago, I came out as gay and introduced her to my then- boyfriend, now- husband, Marcus (36M), who is Black. The fallout was exactly what you'd expect. She flipped out, told me I was "throwing my life away," and cut me off entirely. When Marcus and I got married three years ago, she refused to
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 04
    come to the wedding, saying she couldn't support my "choices." We haven't spoken in five years.
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 05
    The only family member who really supported me through everything was my grandpa, Jack. He was the one person who accepted me and my relationship with Marcus. After he passed away two years ago, he left me an inheritance, which allowed Marcus and me to buy our first home together. It was bittersweet
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 06
    because I knew my grandpa would've been proud, but at least he was always in my corner.
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 07
    A couple of months ago, my mom reached out-completely out of the blue. After five years of silence, she said she wanted to "put the past behind us" and claimed she "forgave me" for my "lifestyle." I was skeptical. Then she told me the real reason she was reaching out: she's been struggling with some health issues-chronic back pain that
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 08
    has made it hard for her to work ―and she's fallen behind on her mortgage and bills. She asked if I could help her out financially, using part of the inheritance from my grandpa.
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 09
    I felt torn. On the one hand, she's my mom, and she's genuinely struggling, even if the health issue isn't life-threatening. But on the other hand, she cut me out of her life the moment I didn't fit her narrow idea of what a "good son" should be, and she never once tried to apologize or make things right with me or Marcus. I
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 10
    told her no. I've spent years building a life with Marcus, and it didn't feel fair for her to come back into my life now, only because she needs something.
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 11
    Since then, she's been telling our family that I'm heartless and "letting her suffer over a grudge." Now, I've got cousins and family friends messaging me, saying I should help her because "family comes first" and that I'm being petty by holding onto the past. But to me, family doesn't disown you for who you love and then come back when it's convenient.
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 12
    Marcus supports my decision, but I still feel guilty. I know my grandpa cared deeply about family, and I don't want my mom to lose her home. But it's hard to believe she's reaching out now because she actually regrets how she treated me and my husband, and not just because she's in a financial bind. AITAH for refusing to give her any of my inheritance?
    via u/Mindless_School2475
  • 13
    Shadow4summer • 1d ago • NTA. Don't feel guilty. She will use you up and then condemn you again. I think you would be better off not letting her back in your life again.
    via u/Shadow4summer
  • 14
    MayCyan425 • 1d ago • "Family comes first" Not for your mom. Her Bigotry comes first. And before that her wants.
    via u/MayCyan425
  • 15
    GrumpyLump91 1d ago. Start a Go Fund Me for her and send it to your family/cousins for them to contribute.
    via u/GrumpyLump91
  • 16
    thickhipstightlips ⚫1d ago. Absolutely NTA. She disowned her own son over who you chose to love and marry. If you didn't have money, she would still be no contact. I wouldn't give her a dime.
    via u/thickhipstightlips
  • 17
    Remember: The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. So don't let your family get into your head with the "but shes family" If they really believed that, THEY would help her out.
    via u/thickhipstightlips
  • 18
    Just because she birthed you, doesn't mean you have any obligation to help her. You didn't ask to be born, she chose to have you. Just as she chose to disown you when you told her you were gay. She can kick rocks.
    via u/thickhipstightlips
  • 19
    . JimBobsBabes • 12h ago • NTA. Comments decided.
    via u/JimBobsBabes
  • 20
    MyCouchPulzo... • 1d ago • NTA - that money was never hers in the first place. She is not OWED it. Anyone (even family) pressuring you to cave to her is dead weight in the long term. May as well rip those band aids of now. Spend what you need now and Put that money in a
    via u/MyCouchPulzo
  • 21
    trust or step-ladder CD or something where the money is out of your hands so you have enough time to grieve FIRST. Because, trust me, it's harder to stand your ground against family when you lose the one person who 'got' you. Sorry for your loss, my friend.
    via u/MyCouchPulzo
  • 22
    SummerStar62 1d ago. If they (FaMiLy) are so worried about her, they can pay for her. It's not your responsibility. NTA
    via u/SummerStar62

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family drama inheritance drama mother family feud relationships parenting lol love family reddit thread Reddit funny money dating
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