Woman Accused of Being a ‘Child’ By Boyfriend When She Cries Over Her Dessert Being Ruined, She Questions Their Relationship

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    r/AITAH ⚫ 23 hr. ago • Gold_Wind_5888 AITAH for crying when my boyfriend let his best friend's wife alter the dish I made for dinner?
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    My boyfriend (28M) and I (22F) met at work two years ago. Technically I was working part- time during undergrad and he was a customer, but after a couple of months, we started going out. I really love this man and nothing has happened on this scale before, so I'm very confused about it.
  • 03
    My bf has a very tight group of friends. I am well acquainted with them, and their girlfriends. One of them Dave, just is married to Ellie (fake names). Ellie is an excellent cook and often hosts dinners, and everyone brings a dessert to those dinners. I am the youngest in the group, so most times they brush off my requests for contributing or bringing in a
  • 04
    dessert. However, the last time I asked Dave and Ellie if they wanted anything extra like wine or some sweet dish for dinner, they said I could bring one of those sweet dishes I make for my boyfriend.
  • 05
    I'm Indian, and even though I can't cook as well as my mom, and I'm well, in a different country for studies, I called my mom up and had her teach me properly how to make a specific Bengali sweet which is my favourite. I had my friends taste it and they said it was great. My boyfriend ate some and said it was excellent.
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    Except, last night, I greeted Ellie and kept the dish in the kitchen. When the food was brought out and my boyfriend told everyone | made it, I saw that someone had added cinnamon powder to the sweet. You never have the sweet with cinnamon powder. The dessert tasted like cinnamon and I felt horrible. Though everyone said thank you and it was good, I
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    think my face gave it away, and my boyfriend took me aside and said that Ellie had told him that my sweet looked 'too white' and thought some cinnamon might bring some colour into it. I don't know, I just felt awful and I started to tear up.
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    My boyfriend then defended Ellie and said that his friends already think I'm a child and not make a big deal of this and we will talk about it. I told him Ellie asked him first, couldn't he have told her not to add cinnamon to the sweet?
  • 09
    He told me he didn't think it was a big deal and asked me to drop the topic on the way home. I didn't text him goodnight and this morning he said he was sorry and said my crying made him feel like an awful person.
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    I don't know, now I think I overreacted. AITA? UPDATE: Ellie saw this post. My boyfriend texted me to see if it was me. I said yes. He said we needed to talk.
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    For safety purposes, my best friend will be here. I don't know, I never expected my post to blow up
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    21h ago Edited 18h ago Bf saying 'everyone thinks you're a child', and him saying 'we'll talk about this later' is him telling you he thinks you're a child.
  • 13
    Gurl, tell him you're tired of hanging out with judgemental old farts and you're going to go find people younger and cooler to be with. Please don't think this guy hung the moon
  • 14
    € 20h ago Edited 18h ago So your boyfriend doesn't defend you and apparently all his friends think you're a child. Which he also doesn't defend you against. He's also got 6 years on you, dudes nearing 30.
  • 15
    Does your boyfriend often treat you like a child? Does your boyfriend usually defend his friends when they do some like this? Does your boyfriend defend you at ALL?? He should feel like an awful person. He is an awful boyfriend
  • 16
    Dry_Repair192 • 22h ago NTA, I'm an indian as well, and adding cinnamon sounds crazy. She just added it without tasting, almost like she ruined it on purpose. And yea your bf should feel bad about this.
  • 17
    Patient Depen... • 23h ago • Did she even taste it before dumping cinnamon on it? And who the dumps an extra ingredient onto something that they didn't make, to give it "more color". Your bf is a ...... for gaslighting you, and then
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    only apologizing when you rightfully start pulling away from him, that is toxic as !
  • 19
    flexyyywillow ⚫22h ago. NTA. Your boyfriend should have stood up for you and your dish. Adding cinnamon without your consent was disrespectful and you have every right to feel upset. Don't let anyone downplay your feelings. Also, that sweet sounds delicious and
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    I'm sorry they ruined it with cinnamon.
  • 21
    Particular-Glov... • 20h ago • "His friends already think I'm a child". Please Op, be careful to this. An ex of mine told me his friends thought some things about me and I discovered that they didn't and he was lying to me after years. It could be a sort of manipulation. I would talk to
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    Ellie just in case, also to put some healthy boundaries. Even if she did it withtthe best intentions, it's still a bit disrespectful to make adjustments to a dish without asking to the cooker. She asked your boyfriend apparently, why is that? Why didn't she ask you? It would be more
  • 23
    respectful and appropriate IMHO. NTA Edit to add that you bf should be more respectful of your feelings too. He seems a bit an Ah in his response to you crying... That's not exactly the reaction you want when you are hurt

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