'You're not a part of their family': 20-year-old mom asks 16-year-old brother to babysit every night unpaid, won't refer to him as 'uncle,' only as 'babysitter'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Oct 27, 2024 4:00 PM EDT

It's nice to do favors for your family now and again. It's what they're for. We all need each other in order to survive, and we have to come through for each other. For example, if your beloved sister just gave birth, you might offer to come over to her house and help clean, or take care of the baby while she goes and gets a massage. We do this because we love each other, and because we hope they would do it for us in return. 

But, as with anything, there is a line. It shouldn't interfere with your own health and happiness, especially when you're a kid. When you're still growing, you need other people to look after you. You don't need to take on the responsibilities of others. But that's what one boy was being asked to do when his big sister had a baby of her own. Read on for the story.

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10420151040
    via Anthony Fomin

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to babysit for my sister when even my parents are pushing me to say yes?
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 03
    My older sister (20f) had a baby with her husband a month ago. I (16m) haven't actually met her son yet and maybe I won't ever and that'd be fine. by me but even still, she (and my parents) want me to babysit right after school until 11pm each night so my sister's husband can work and my sister can do whatever it is she does for a few hours. I wanna say she's working also but I don't know if she is.
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 04
    I have a part time job I'd need to quit if I did say yes. Not to mention my sister and I are not close, she's a mean girl with a cruel streak that I was exposed to a lot growing up and even after she moved out. Our parents think she can't do anything wrong and they're so proud of her for getting married and having a kid by 20. They think it's the way we should all want our lives to work out.
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 05
    Did I mention my sister wanted me to change my name because she wanted to name her son Theo but didn't want to name him after me? That's how much she dislikes me and how entitled she is. She went with a different name because I refused but she called me a waste of oxygen because she didn't get to take Theo off me as a name.
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 06
    I was first asked/told I needed to babysit a week ago and when I said no she went to our parents who agreed with her that it should be me. They told me I should think of it as getting time with my nephew and how good it will be. I asked her if their daughter feels the same way about it and they said of course. So I asked why it was made perfectly clear I wasn't allowed to come meet him with the rest of the family. They told me it's because I'm in school and he was a newborn.
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 07
    My sister told me her son will be told I'm not an uncle and I'm just the babysitter. She said she doesn't want people to know we're related and doesn't really want me with her kid but she won't have to pay me, and our parents will make sure I don't do anything dumb like demand money for it. I told her I wouldn't quit my job to watch her kid and she told me I will if she keeps crying to our parents because they will march over there and say I quit and then make me go to her house every day after
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 08
    My parents threated to do that but I told them then I'd still say no and I wouldn't have my own money to spend which would annoy them. But they keep putting pressure on me and my sister is calling me a wasted life for not submitting to what she wants and she told me I'm a pathetic, useless little boy who was a mistake from conception.
    via u/Designer_Bus8694
  • 09
    SuperHuckleberry125 • 1h ago • NTA She claims you are not family and that you will not be named uncle, so you haven't further obligation to babysit her spawn somshe can have freedom. Your parents as well as her are entitled and sick to believe they can FORCE you to do anything.
    via u/SuperHuckleberry125
  • 10
    Speak to your boss and inform them of the madness you have to endure so you don't lose your job. Are there any relatives you can stay with, someone who can help you? Seek help ASAP
    via u/SuperHuckleberry125
  • 11
    Signal_Resolution_28 • 1h ago NTA. I'd use my sister's words against her. Ask her how she would let this "waste of space" look after her child unsupervised? Is she certain she wants to leave her child with... You? . Make her question her choice, paint yourself to be the worst possible option and she'll backtrack so fast
    via u/Signal_Resolution_28
  • 12
    TeenySod 1h ago • . EVERY night? For FREE? Yeah, 100% NTA for nope-ing right out of that one. "I told her I wouldn't quit my job to watch her kid and she told me I will if she keeps crying to our parents because they will march over there and say I quit ..."
    via u/TeenySod
  • 13
    Stand your ground, and give your manager the heads up that you do want to carry on working there, and to ignore your parents. Tell your parents that if they force this, or dare to try to interfere with your part time work then you will report them to child protection services AND to your school for attempting to turn you into a modern slave - the unpaid childcare they are demanding sounds like the same hours as a full time job? - 4 pm to 11 pm, say 5 nights a week = 35 hours? - this would affect
    via u/TeenySod
  • 14
    Generally I'm not one to advocate "going nuclear" - this definitely merits that though.
    via u/TeenySod
  • 15
    . DogsReading Books • 2h ago NTA. Clearly you're not a part of their family. They don't treat you like family. They shouldn't expect any babysitting services from you. Especially given the fact that you're literally 16 and have a job you need to get to.
    via u/DogsReadingBooks
  • 16
    Practical_Tooth_2329 • 1h ago NTA It sounds like your sister is the golden child. Do you have other family/friends you can live with? You need an exit plan.
    via u/Practical_Tooth_2329
  • 17
    RivSilver 1h ago • • NTA at all. Do you have an adult you can trust who you can tell about this? None of this is ok. I hope you can keep your job and start saving to get out of your parents house as soon as possible
    via u/RivSilver
  • 18
    MaxTheCookie • 1h ago NTA, she is the one that mad ether kid she is responsible. And since she has made it abundantly clear that she either dislikes or hates you, you should not help her for that alone.
    via u/MaxTheCookie
  • 19
    The fact that they want you to give up free time that you can use to work for some cash, socializing with friends and peers as well as studying is ridiculous. Tell them that you won't babysit for free and you will not give up your free time. It is obvious that she is the golden child
    via u/MaxTheCookie
  • 20
    Lordbazingtion • 1h ago • NTA. But I think your actually really gonna have to play hard ball here. Go to your work and say your parents might do x but they are not speaking for you and tell your manager to just ask them to leave. If they randomly drop off the baby while your home you call the police and tell them the baby has been abandoned with you. You might have to be forceful with the police over the phone for them do their job.
    via u/Lordbazingtion
  • 21
    If they try and pick you up from school just walk home or hang out with friends you might even be happier that way. If you have grandparents or an aunt it might be best to see if you can live with them. Normally I'd suggest that going through with what they want might be better to your 18 but honestly I think it's just going to make things worse for you.
    via u/Lordbazingtion
  • 22
    I'd suggest in all this just don't get angry. I believe your best weapon is I told you no and walk away. They will get angry but even if you go and do what they want they won't be happy anyway your a tool to them.
    via u/Lordbazingtion

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childcare Babies teens aita infant kids teenagers moms parenting babysitting dad cute kids pregnant sister reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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