'She didn't want to go on the trip until she learned it was to Europe': Father schedules family vacation for everyone except his son and daughter-in-law, sparks family feud by changing travel location

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Oct 27, 2024 11:00 AM EDT

These family members are upset after rejecting a vacation, only to learn it was going to be way better than they expected. 

The annual task of planning a vacation goes to u/Ok_Clue_6722, as they explained to r/AmItheA******. First things first, they asked the family group chat which days worked for them. To be fair, it can be incredibly difficult to get everyone's schedules to align, so when two of the members of the group bowed out, this person wasn't phased. 

However, when this guy announced that the family trip was now going to be to Europe, their son and daughter-in-law magically came up with the vacation days. How convenient! It's possible they didn't really want to go before, but as soon as they heard about the location change, they also changed their minds. But the original poster of this story wasn't having it: they refused to change anything for their DIL and son. 

When they asked the internet if they did wrong by their family members, there was a wide mix of responses. Some people said the original poster was impolite for excluding some family members, and wondered if they disliked their son and DIL. Others said that the son and DIL were in the wrong for the way they went about the vacation planning. And some said that no one was really acting their best here, and that all members had some blame. Check out this interesting story below to decide for yourself. 

Up next, these anonymous people online had some incredibly silly suggestions to make hospitals better, like one person who suggested that we should "Call all doctors Doctor Who." 

Advertisement
  • 01
    + To: From: Date: 2023 26 APR 7:00 Departure: Arrival: 11:25 GATE 03 11 PASSENGER'S NAME FROM: SEAT CLA ++ BOARDING PASS Passenger's name: From BOARDING PASS PASSPORT BOARDING PASS Passenger's name: X From: ✈ To: Departure: 7:00 Arrival: 11:25 Date: 26 APR 2023 GATE SEAT CLASS 03 11B 01
    via Andrej Lišakov For Unsplash+
  • 02
    AITA for telling my daughter in law and son that it is too late and I will not change the family vacation plans so they can come.
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 03
    Every year I try to do a family vacation, around Easter I asked everyone for their availability. The best days for almost everyone was a winter vacation. My DIL and so told me that day wouldn't work for her so they can't go. I asked if the backup days would work and it was a no.
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 04
    Usually the vacation is something that everyone can drive too, it was going to be the same until all the adults agreed the kids were old enough to leave the country. So now the trip is to Europe. Everyone has bought their tickets and I have booked where we are staying.
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 05
    Everything is getting finalized. My son and DIL were not in the family vacation chat since they weren't going on the vacation. They heard about the plans and want to be added in.
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 06
    She called me up asking about it and what they need to do. I asked her how she could get off work and she explained she just could. I personally think she didn't want to go on the trip until she learned it was to Europe and lied to me that she couldn't come in the first place.
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 07
    I told her it is too late, things are booked and I am not willing to pay more then I already have (1 paid for all the lodging, we would need to upgrade to fit two more adults). She asked if I was serious and that it is cruel to not include them on a family trip around Christmas. I told her it is what it is and its not my fault
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 08
    My son is p ed. He told me that I can afford to add two more adult, that is true. I reiterated what I told his wife. He called me aj .... I want an outside opinion
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 09
    Fairy FlossFlo... NTA. First of all, you planned everything already and if your DIL really changed everything just because the trip was to somewhere she wanted to go doesn't sound good. Second, why can't they pay the extra if they want to come? Aren't they adults already?
    via u/FairyFlossFlowers
  • 10
    catskilkid NTA It's rather clear DIL didn't want to drive but loves the idea of a European trip (that you pay for). It was solely her actions that resulted in this situation. If you want, tell them how much extra it's going to cost and let them. pick that up. If you don't want to, that's fine as well
    via u/catskilkid
  • 11
    win that you made the offer, they declined and you made plans. NTA
    via u/catskilkid
  • 12
    AngeloPappas INFO - I am curious as to why the destination for the trip was not also decided when the dates were though. I wouldn't really want to commit to an unknown vacation until I had a few details either.
    via u/AngeloPappas
  • 13
    Also, if they said when the date was picked that they were coming would the lodging not have still been more with the 2 extra people? Why were you ok with the extra cost then, but not now? Is it just spite?
    via u/AngeloPappas
  • 14
    Ok_Clue_6722 OP Our fmsily always does date first, since it is much harder to find time for everyone that works. When we know the date we pick a place that would be nice and fit the time, it doenst make sense to say a beach vacation when we don't know if summer will work
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 15
    Or let's go skiing if we don't know it will be in winter. Also before we we wanted in driving distance for everyone the season w me go will change what we are doing
    via u/Ok_Clue_6722
  • 16
    Practical-Bird... NTA. You gave then multiple dates and they said they couldn't come. I would send them the itinerary and tell them if they can make it great but you're not adjusting your bookings.
    via u/Practical-Bird633
  • 17
    SolmaRedditU... well.... here's the thing... I don't get why you fail to see that a free vacation to Europe is better than a free driving trip stateside. I mean... from personal experience, the "family vacation" is a dubious affair at best.
    via u/SoImaRedditUserNow
  • 18
    So yeah, I can see where the same old same old drive 15 hours to Gulf Shores or Branson or something, based on events of previous christmases aren't something that DIL and Son aren't making time for. But then you make secret plans to Europe... c'mon... You must see that there is a difference.
    via u/SoImaRedditUserNow
  • 19
    Honestly it feels like there is a lot of context left out and I would love DIL and Son's perspective. I'd love to hear about the past "normal" vacations. YTA. Mainly for keeping this a secret. It honestly feels like you hoped this sort of thing would happen so you could throw this in their face. That you can't see the difference is pretty disingenuous
    via u/SoImaRedditUserNow
  • 20
    MissionHoney... It's very clear you don't like your DIL. VERY CLEAR. Are you willing to lose your son and vacationing with any possible future grandchildren over this?
    via u/MissionHoneydew2209
  • 21
    You can afford to upgrade and have the whole family there, but you want to penalize your son and DIL because their availability - changed or they decided a European trip with the entire family was something they didn't want to pass up. Why can't you get them a single room near you? I can't understand why you would want to create this bad blood when you have the ability to be gracious.
    via u/MissionHoneydew2209
  • 22
    Next spring my husband and I are spending 5 weeks in Mexico. We invited our son to come visit during one or two of those weeks. He can't commit to any time right now, and probably won't come. You can bet your if he tells me 3 months out (or 3 weeks, or 3 days) that he's changed his mind and wants to come that I'll move heaven and earth to find a place big
    via u/MissionHoneydew2209
  • 23
    enough for all of us, or get him a room of his own. The time you have with your children - and they with you - - is finite. Please, please, PLEASE don't be the AH who blows up a tradition because your feelings are hurt. You will get SO MUCH MORE out of this trip when you can look back on it as a time your family all went to Europe. Enjoy the pictures of
    via u/MissionHoneydew2209
  • 24
    you all eating fondue and laughing together. Be bigger than the situation.
    via u/MissionHoneydew2209
  • 25
    C... YTA for how you presented this in the first place. A local drivable family vacation that is done every year is very different from a new international family European vacation. Son and DIL shouldn't have to agree on a vacation before knowing all the details. You should have
    via u/Consistent-Pickle-88
  • 26
    presented this to them from the very beginning as an international European family vacation. It sounds like you're being vindictive to your son and DIL.
    via u/Consistent-Pickle-88
  • 27
    Leviosahhh YTA. You intentionally excluded Son and DIL from family vacation chat and details until it was too late because you were offended they didn't want to the annual driving trip. Also, you start off saying "I asked everyone for their availability." And then "DIL told me they couldn't go that day or the back up date"
    via u/Leviosahhh
  • 28
    So you didn't ask everyone for their availability, you told them the dates they had to be available for. And then excluded them from the conversation.
    via u/Leviosahhh
  • 29
    Do you secretly just hate your DIL? Bc you even start with "AITA for telling my DIL and son..." which obviously implies this about your DIL, not your son. And then you further mention your DIL was the one who said you couldn't make it. And then you further mention your DIL was the one who inquired about the new trip after finding out her and son weren't included in the conversation.
    via u/Leviosahhh
  • 30
    The only thing you say about your son is that he is ped and said you could afford to add two more, which you agreed you could, and then you again explain what you told "his wife" (noticing how you changed from your daughter in law to his wife) It is cruel, to ask them about a trip at Easter that you're planning for Christmas, and doing everything you can to
    via u/Leviosahhh
  • 31
    make it difficult for them to go. You are blatantly cutting your son and DIL out of Christmas. "It is what it is and it's not my fault" isn't even remotely true when you manipulated this scenario from the beginning (when you "asked" people's availability but actually told. them two dates you knew they couldn't attend)
    via u/Leviosahhh
  • 32
    Honestly, it straight up seems like you just don't like your DIL and are going through an extremely passive aggressive and petty round about way of expressing this instead of just saying it.
    via u/Leviosahhh

Want More? Follow Us and Add Us as a Preferred Source on Google.

Tags

europe family drama family feud Travel family trip tickets group chat family vacation vacation
Scroll Down For The Next Article