'This mooch!': Woman always helps out cousin in need, however, cousin repays the favor by NOT inviting her to her wedding and asking for money

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Oct 27, 2024 8:00 PM EDT

What is family for? Everyone has their own version of the answer, but overall, it's to be there for each other. When things hit the fan, you should be able to turn to a trusted family member to help keep your head above water and get you back on your feet. Unfortunately, not everybody has that in a family. So if you do, you have to hold onto that relationship as best as you can. But what happens if that relationship turns sour? It's not uncommon to think you have a fruitful relationship with a family member, just to realize later on that they're actually taking advantage of you. 

In this case, it was between two cousins. One of the cousins always welcomed the other into her home whenever they visited. She even brought her then-boyfriend to stay with them, and they were welcomed with open-arms. However, once it came time for the wedding of those two, the welcoming cousin wasn't invited. And yet, they still sent her a card asking for money… Is that how family should be treated? Read the entire situation below! 

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  • 01
    "You cannot take advantage of my hospitality after your behavior surrounding your wedding, Grow up and learn some class.
    via Unsplash+ (and Al Elmes)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Cousin Bride Doesn't Invite Me But Many Others & Later Asks For Money I have a cousin from Georgia that is around 12 years younger than me. She comes up to the large northern city I live in and stays at my place each time she visits which def saves her at least $350 a night. I allow this because I wanted to have a relationship with her along with help a girl out with saving money. I was married 10 years ago and she invited a guy to the wedding without telling me she would have a guest. This past
    via vasqueezie
  • 03
    year, she got married to that guy and told her family to keep it a secret from anyone who was not invited to the wedding like ME but my dad and his new girlfriend were (she has never met his new girlfriend and there's a larger issue with this since my mom passed unexpectedly a year ago and my dad started dating this woman a few months after she ded).
    via vasqueezie
  • 04
    Yesterday I received a married postcard with photos of the wedding and on the back it asked for money for the new couple. Along with that, they didn't write ANYTHING personal at all on it, like wth are you that busy you can't be bothered to write a note if you want something? Anyway, looking for good ways to call her out on this!
    via vasqueezie
  • 05
    occasionallystabby I don't really see the point in calling her out. She obviously sees nothing wrong with her behavior, so she's likely to just turn it around that you're just jealous or being cheap. I personally would just go NC with her. I certainly would never give her a place to stay again.
    via ocasionallystabby
  • 06
    Economics_Low Yep! If the mooching cousin asks why OP didn't send a gift for her wedding, an appropriate response from OP would be "What wedding? I never got an invitation and no one mentioned it to me." If the cousin then mentions the generic announcement card, OP can either claim they never received it or they can say they didn't recognize the couple pictured and mistook it for junk mail since there was no personal note, so they tossed it out.
    via Economics_Low
  • 07
    If this mooch continues to press for a gift, OP can say she should consider all previous free visits their gift. OP should also congratulate the couple verbally on now being able to afford as a couple paying for their own private accommodations when they visit the city.
    via Economics_Low
  • 08
    Prudent_Border5060 You ignore her. It's not an issue. She is rude and obnoxious. Why even acknowledge her audacity. This isn't complicated. You don't need to respond. She isn't in your life daily. Sirlcy5798 I'd like to add that you will definitely need to screen her calls or blow her off when she tries to stay with you again...which she will. Sounds like an entitled user.
    via Prudent_Border5060
  • 09
    Maya2661 I don't know if she or your family how support this crazy behavior would be interessted in this call out. I'd rather warn you. In the end you end up as the bully and your cousin as the victim. Then she will probably claim that you are jealous of her and her husband and therefore it was for the best not to invite you. She knows this game. If I were you, I would rather stay away from this people and everyone who supports them. That wouldn't be worth it.
    via Maya2661
  • 10
    cocopuff7603 Write Return to sender on the envelope. kyliejus Or write HaHaHa on the announcement & mail that back to her. Work_Mom Or rip it into tiny pieces and return it yourself.
    via cocopuff7603
  • 11
    round robin959903 Just throw away the card. And definitely be "busy" and "unavailable" for her to stay with you in the future. Screen the calls and let her talk to your voicemail. Stay civil and unbothered. It might drive her crazy which is a quiet bonus. But she made it clear she doesn't value you for anything but a free airbnb so just go LC to NC with her and move on.
    via round_robin959903
  • 12
    Ornery_Ad_2019 No, no, no. You don't call her out, you simply ignore her tacky and embarrassing request. She sent you a solicitation for money like she's a charity and that does not obligate you to a response, let alone a donation. You also stop doing her favors. "Oh, I'm so sorry, but that won't be possible." Calling her out just generates drama and gossip. Don't get in the ring with her. Remain civil but distant.
    via Ornery_Ad_2019
  • 13
    Lucky_Log2212 Don't. Just don't respond at all. You aren't important enough to have been included in the wedding festivities, probably because your father could provide a bigger and better gift. So, just don't give her any energy. Don't. Keep your sanity and your energy for those you care to give it to. She doesn't consider you close enough to attend her most joyous occasion, then, let her enjoy her wedding with those she's shown that are important in her life, and that isn't you. So, you aren't
    via Lucky_Log2212
  • 14
    Don't try and be petty with words to show your displeasure, she is probably expecting it, so she can play the victim. Just, don't. That will hurt her more. And, when she makes a big deal about it, remind anyone who wants to involve themselves, that you were not invited to the wedding, but is expected to give money. That is not how that works, and, remind them that they are more than welcome to give money for you, then all will be happy. Keep your sanity and not think about her, and, just don't,
    via Lucky_Log2212

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wedidng drama entitled family family mooch Reddit cousins
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