Bride Expects Maid of Honor to Shell Out a Large Sum of Money on Her Destination Wedding, Despite Shaming Others for Costly Weddings Years Before

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Oct 27, 2024 7:00 PM EDT

Weddings should be a celebration of love without a fixation on appearances and money. Due to social media, the growing need for brides and grooms to have costly, extravagant ceremonies and receptions has skyrocketed. If they decide to have a destination wedding that would require guests to shell out thousands of dollars simply just to attend, they should cover the costs. This might be a hot take, but expecting people in and outside of your wedding party to spend a fraction of their yearly salary on a few days of celebration is nothing short of abhorrent.

To expect others to do so without blinking is a bit selfish. The bride in this story used to think the same thing until it was her turn to walk down the aisle. Her Maid of Honor is considering dropping out of her wedding because costs just keep adding up. The MOH only accepted the position because, for years, the bride thought that having expensive weddings was an obnoxious thing to do if the engaged couple weren't covering the costs. Now that she's getting ready to tie the knot, that couldn't be further from the truth.

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  • 01
    I've accepted to be the moh because of it and then I found myself being tricked into paying for not one but two trips plus one hotel stay (the second she offered to pay as a gift to me...baby it's not a gift, it's you doing your
    via Unsplash (Photos by Lanty)
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    Bride spent 10 years shaming those who have weddings above their means. Then pressured to get early gifts from the guests to cover the cost of hers
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    And much more. Always said she would have covered hotel costs, people should not be forced to do stupid stuff...basically her mindset was kind of "I just want people to come and have a good time with no worries."
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    I've accepted to be the moh because of it and then I found myself being tricked into paying for not one but two trips plus one hotel stay (the second she offered to pay as a gift to me...baby it's not a gift, it's you doing your
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    job and expecting me to be grateful for it.) I would have never accepted on these basis. In the while the wedding things kept being added. One dish more, one activity more. Basically it has become a show for
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    social media and older relatives (used to big banquets) and they are cutting on hospitality for it. Which is their choice and ok, but it's the total opposite of what the bride always said she wanted (we had some
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    bad experience so we discussed it a lot, it is so important to us that she mentioned our agreement about it as the reason why she wanted me as her moh).
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    This is going along with a general disregard for guests, think something like putting people in the middle of nowhere, serving alcol, and expecting them to drive (no Uber or similar available and they know).
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    Also, little to zero acknowledgement for people's life. Had my birthday and another milestone this year and...meh. Why am I still in? Because I already dropped a
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    similar wedding and I don't want to be labelled as the one who makes wedding dramas as an habit (for the records, the current bride dropped the same wedding). But I can't wait for it to end
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    Update: First, I read many of you saying to drop it etc. I do agree on a general basis, I do not (drop and agree) about this one because it's a small town and a small social circle, hence a label would come with a
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    cost that is higher and would be longer than what I've spent. Anyway, had a call with the bride rn. Other stuff emerged and I would be fuming but I managed to at least discuss stuff
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    enough to not be too inconvenienced (think about being left alone on a country street in the night with high heels) so I'm just mildly infuriated now. One suggestion, do not brag about doing it all by
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    yourself when you don't want to ask money to your parents because they are loud and noisy, particularly when you then make your guests feel pressured for an early and big gift. It's not the independence flex you think it is
    via Chocolatecandybar_
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    . WorldWeary1771 3d ago. I had a boyfriend decades ago who used to say "There are advantages to being Ir de." (It was always about this kind of social expectation not about wait staff). I think you'll enjoy the reputation of someone not to ask as a bridesmaid...
    via WorldWeary1771
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    julesk 3d ago So if you quit, telling her this isn't what you signed up for you'll be labeled a bad MOH and bridesmaid? Oh dear, what if you weren't asked to be one again? If you stick it out, I hope you refuse any more costs or obligations.
    via julesk
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    chicagok8 3d ago . If you're ever asked again to be a bridesmaid, set expectations at the very beginning for how much money and time you're willing to spend. You could even do that now and say you've spent your limit and won't spend more.
    via chicagok8
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    Mulewrangler • 3d ago . Tell her that you're dropping out and why. Hopefully she'll apologize and pay back at least part of what you've spent. If she has a fit explain why on social media.
    via Mulewrangler
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    I just can't imagine asking this of my friends. If I was ever getting married again I wouldn't have more bridesmaids than I could afford to cover their costs. And would not be asking for trips.
    via Mulewrangler
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    cMeeber . 3d ago • But it's differrrrrenttt when it's their wedding Imao. I have a friend who would not stop complaining about our one friend having a destination bachelorette party a couple years ago.
    via cMeeber
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    Was making fun of it to everyone who would listen. Then this year, she had a destination birthday party, and TWO bachelorette parties. Not one peep about how maybe she was harsh about our other friend.
    via cMeeber
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    lovemycats1 • 3d ago . I wouldn't give a rats be labeled! Screw it and to drop out because she will be expecting more out of you! I would also skip on giving a wedding gift you already spent enough!
    via lovemycats1

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Wedding Themes aita poor planning bride marriage entitlement wedding party drama wedding planning wedding drama bridesmaids attention seeking selfish reddit story wedding bridesmaid brides entitled planning Reddit married weddings entitled people
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