I swear officer, I have no idea how this "Sahnik the porcupine" plushie got in our inventory, I filled out the proper forms, I called Sony myself and got their permission to sell their official Sonic the hedgehog merch, But somehow I got stuck with these 3,500 fake plushies which I sell for 2.99 a pop, 2 for 3.99. What's that? Sonic isn't even a Sony character? Well that would explain why he looks so weird. I mean his hands aren't even the same color, what's up with that?
Ok, Ok, calm down, I didn't actually buy these, they just fell off the back of a truck, right there on the freeway and the truck drove off. What was I supposed to do? Just leave them there scattered all over the road? In fact, I was doing the public a service by removing those road hazards and instead of getting some kind of monetary reward I get the cops called on me? What is this? North Korea? I want my lawyer! Stop! Let me go! Ouch! Sahnik! Help me!