'I am little more than a walking ATM to them': Woman buys Victorian mansion and plans to buy birds for her atrium, mooching sisters want her to spend the money on them instead

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Nov 5, 2024 4:00 PM EST

We've probably all dreamed of living in a castle. We've imagined descending a large marble staircase in a flowing ballgown, hosting masquerade balls, and gazing out the windows and reading novels. Maybe you've even dreamed of having birds flutter around your vast atrium. Very few of us actually get to do that. Unless you're some sort of nobility or royal, odds are you'll have to be content with a regular house or apartment. 

That is, unless, you're the woman in this story. Okay, it's not a castle per se, but a Victorian mansion with a live atrium. Living the dream, right? Her sisters didn't think so and insisted she was wasting her money on something so impractical. The kicker? They wanted her to spend the money on them instead. So she was ultimately torn on whether her entitled sisters had a point, or if she should go on living her Victorian fantasy. Read on for the details and see what you think. 

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  • 01
    -Mat
    via Lance Reis
  • 02
    AITA if I get birds instead of helping my sisters?
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 03
    I(34f) purchased a large "Victorian manor" fixer-upper a few years ago. It was a huge labor of love, everything needed replacing, from the roof to the studs. Little by little, I slaved over it, making it my own. At some point in the houses history, a VERY LARGE glass atrium/aviary was built in the middle of the house. It
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 04
    spans all 4 stories, doming out over the roof like a skylight. In it is a mature tree that reaches the 3rd floor, as well as smaller vegetation, a small koi pond, and 2 benches. It is very much the focal point of the house. It's what sold me on the house in the first place. The renovations of the house are coming to an end, including the reconstruction of the atrium. Every month, a professional comes to check
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 05
    the thermostat and humidity, misters, water ph, etc. On his next visit, he will bring the birds, teaching me how to care for them in-between visits. It's a huge undertaking and I am very much up to the challenge. I have 2 sisters, ashley 25f and Katerina 36f. My relationship is strained at best with them, as I am usually little more than a walking ATM to them. The past year I have started to grow a spine, and they HATE it. I no
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 06
    longer pay their rents and car notes, and I stopped giving them allowances, asking them both to get jobs. They say family helps family, and I've done well for myself, so I should subsidize their lifestyles(very expensive lifestyles, I might add). During recent conversation, I told them. I was excited to get my new birds. I had birds growing up and was eager to start this new adventure again. My oldest sister says what I'm doing is animal ab e, forcing birds to stay
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 07
    trapped inside when birds belong outside. She even threatened to call animal services on me. My younger sister chimed in saying what a waste of money it is. That I could be using that money to help my sisters, since I know they did not take a summer vacation this year that I usually pay for each season. They really went in on me hard, to the point I started to cry a little. My younger sister felt a little bad and said she shouldn't have been so harsh but I needed to hear the truth, and my older
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 08
    I left their apartment on bad terms. They are still really upset with me, saying blood is thicker than water(or in this case, birds). I'm worried I've become so caught up in the excitement that I'm being an a hle. With my sisters, there never seems to be an end to my responsibilities. It's exhausting. I just wanted some birds. But maybe they are right. Am I the ahle for choosing birds over my own sisters?
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 09
    Leather-Hand-4947 • 21h ago Yuck. This is a small slice of life obviously. Do your sisters reciprocate in any way? Do they bring some kind of goodness or fulfillment to your life? If not, they're leeches. Let them work to fund their own lifestyles. NTA- and your house sounds amazing. I love Victorian architecture!
    via u/Leather-Hand-4947
  • 10
    • Bokbokbagawker OP 21h ago • I wouldn't say so, no. We were all given the same opportunities in life. My sisters decided to squander them for the most part, using me as a flotation device. I've always been a pushover, trying my best not to rock the boat. The last year, through much therapy, I've started removing their tight holds on me, which they hate very much.
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 11
    100 honorthecrones 21h ago • Get the birds and name two of them after your sisters
    via u/honorthecrones
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    Bokbokbagawker OP 21h ago . My gosh, they would hate this!
    via u/Bokbokbagawker
  • 13
    Only-Ingenuity7889 21h ago • YOU needed to hear the truth??? Omg. NTA. Enjoy your home, you've earned this little paradise. Time for sisters to start earning their way too
    via u/Only-Ingenuity7889
  • 14
    MasterHappyMcSpan... • 21h ago • You should totally put a post of your house one day! Btw NTA the sheer entitlement to demand AND expect you to foot the bill for them for the rest of their lives is ridiculous and downright childish. You're not even the eldest either and that
    via u/MasterHappyMcSpanky
  • 15
    just speaks volumes about the type of person your sisters are. Especially your older sister. Just sad on their part that they think they can insult you and have a tantrum because you're literally standing your ground. Maybe it's time to cut them off and go NC with them?
    via u/MasterHappyMcSpanky
  • 16
    External-Hamster-... • 21h ago. NTA. It is time to spend less time with people who only value you for what you can give them.
    via u/External-Hamster-991
  • 17
    CrazyOldBag • 21h ago • NTA. If "family helps family," ask them what the they've done to help you. It sounds like the only answer they could give is "We helped lighten your wallet." Moochers gonna mooch, but only if you let them. Cut them off completely, now. Tell them the gravy train has come to a screeching halt, and it's high time they grew up. And STICK TO YOUR GUNS!
    via u/CrazyOldBag
  • 18
    algunarubia • 21h ago NTA. Family helps family when they're having trouble affording things they need. If your sisters had just been laid off from their jobs and needed a little money to tide over their rent or something, or had gone through some other emergency situation that made money very tight, that would be
    via u/algunarubia
  • 19
    one thing. But paying for their vacations? That's nuts. Why do they think you should pay for their fun (vacations) over your fun (birds)? It's your money, you should be supporting your own fun first, and theirs if you feel like it. They seem to feel completely entitled to your money, which is not normal. I've helped my siblings occasionally because I knew if our positions were reversed, they'd help me. Do you have that sense with your siblings? Have they ever offered to pay for your vacations?
    via u/algunarubia
  • 20
    ded517 . 21h ago • NTA, but stop enabling your sisters. They are adults and should be supporting their own expensive lifestyles.
    via u/ded517
  • 21
    • Lily_Flowrs 21h ago. NTA - you know why they're treating you like sh ? Because they've been mooching off of you for years (?) or however long. You've taken care of them while it seems they've refused to work or become self sufficient. Anyone that says "family helps family" are usually the ones taking advantage of someone in their family.
    via u/Lily_Flowrs
  • 22
    Don't feel bad, your house sounds bomb as f and ENJOY what you've worked so hard for!
    via u/Lily_Flowrs
  • 23
    w-family-like-this 20h ago • • NTA. Get the birds, I'm your new sister now. I am super excited for you and I want updates. It's not animal cruelty, just pick birds that would like the environment. I trust your contractor to suggest suitable birds and I know you will study up on how to best care for them birdies. Send me pics later, hugs and kisses -your new sister (35F)
    via u/w-family-like-this
  • 24
    casscatla 21h ago. • No. They're manipulating you because they want your money again. Tell them that if they want to go on vacation again, they should earn some money and pay for it. I think you should go on the offense. You already paid for their rent and car payments. They should at least be paying for your lunch. They are in your debt.
    via u/casscatla
  • 25
    ** Edit✶✶ I appreciate everyone so much. It really gave me the strength in my resolve to go low contact for now. Also, I've received a few pms accusing me of tearing down a historical home, which couldn't be farther from the truth. I brought it back to it's original glory, which was the goal all along. Intricate crown moldings and gold inlays restored, the original sweeping front
    via u/casscatla
  • 26
    banisters have been sanded of previous paint and returned to natural wood finishes, even the dumbwaiter was restored to former glory. This house took blood, sweat, and tears to restore. I swear to you that I was not hasty or careless in it's restoration. This was not a "DIY" job.
    via u/casscatla

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mansion family drama castle saving money birds sibling rivalry sisters siblings money problems home renovation reddit story family feud entitled family sister little sister Reddit houses money entitled people interior design
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