Mom Plans Disney Trip for Nephew with Cancer and Leaves Out Entitled Stepdaughter Who Didn’t Want to Go, Dad Calls Her Out

Author image for Isabella Penn
Isabella Penn
Nov 8, 2024 7:00 PM EST

Planning family vacations is never fun, especially when one teen makes it her mission to hate everything the family loves. So when Mom was organizing a Disney trip for her kids and nephew, who's fighting cancer and has been dreaming of this experience, she wasn't surprised when her 16-year-old stepdaughter immediately shot down the idea. The stepdaughter has a bit of a pattern—she'll dismiss any plan that others enjoy, whether it's a zoo trip or a family meal, just because others are happy. After checking in multiple times to see if she'd changed her mind (she hadn't), Mom finally booked the trip and figured her stepdaughter could stay home with Dad, who couldn't go due to work. Now, Dad's saying his daughter might regret missing out and that maybe the whole thing is unfair. But is it? A Disney trip without the grumbles sounds pretty magical, and Mom deserves a guilt-free vacation, especially with her nephew along for the ride.

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  • 01
    AITA for planning a Disney trip without my stepdaughter and leaving her with her father
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 02
    I (41F) and my husband (41M) have four children. I have one child from a previous relationship, he has two, and we have one together. We have always treated the children as equally as possible,
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 03
    though with extended family, they don't always go on the same trips if we don't go. Ex: his parents take his children on vacations and my child doesn't want to go without me. This has never been an issue. But when we plan trips, we always take everyone.
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 04
    The problem is that my SD (16 f) doesn't really like anything that anyone else does. Or she will like it until someone else does. Ex: she really wanted to go on a winter trip to Colorado for skiing. None of the other children were
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 05
    that excited, but seeing as it's hard to find things she likes, we went. She was excited until the other kids started enjoying it too, then she wanted to leave. This is pretty much what happens when we went on trips to the zoo, museums, anything. And if other
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 06
    people are already happy about it, she immediately hates the idea. We thought maybe she just wanted time with each parent alone. So we did that with both her mom and dad. She still
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 07
    complained the whole time. Her counselor said maybe she wants activities with both parents to show they get along. They did that but if they show any enjoyment at all, she hates whatever they are doing. We've
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 08
    done girl days with her mom and I and she hates it. We have found the less enthusiastic we are, the more she wants to do it. This applies to meals too. If someone else likes something,
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 09
    she finds ways to criticize it. It's like she can't let anyone else enjoy anything. She also likes things more if no one else wants to do them. This also happens when she goes with her aunt and cousins. Her sister is not like this at all. We've asked her if she has
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    any insight (their mother has too) and she comes up with nothing other than, "She's just a b***h" and shrugs. We let her choose other day trips, told her she can bring her friend, but it's the same. If she
    via u/D-Hearing228
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    sees someone like something she chose, she complains and says it was her idea like no one else can enjoy it. So this year, we had been talking about Disney for a while. My nephew has cancer and has
    via u/D-Hearing228
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    always wanted to go with us. because he has no siblings and not many friends because he's missed a lot of school. SD said it was stupid as soon as everyone else wanted to go. Her father said he would have a lot of work to catch up on when he got back.
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 13
    He does seasonal work and has to take the work while he can. The kids agreed that they wanted to go and he wanted us to, so I made the plans and we decided to go back another year with all of us.
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 14
    I made the reservations for myself, sister, nephew, and 3 of our children, deciding SD can stay back with dad since she didn't want to go anyway. My husband says ITA for not planning for her to come too but
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 15
    I don't want her ruining the trip with complaints with my nephew there. Aita? Edit: To clarify, I asked SD multiple times if she wanted to go as I planned, so I would know at each stage if she had changed her mind. She was adamant
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 16
    every time she didn't want to go. Her dad says she always says she doesn't want to go but would regret missing out. This is based on last summer's vacation when she said she didnt want to go but loved it. We were at a campground and it rained the whole time. We were pretty miserable but she thought it was funny.
    via u/D-Hearing228
  • 17
    ByronicPan • 9h ago NTA, I'd only advice, you, your partner and the child's mother to focus more on her mental health treatment because this thing sounds very pathological to say the least ◇ 7.9K ○ Reply
    via u/ByronicPan
  • 18
    iseeisayibe • 8h ago NTA. Reddit is gonna hate this, but hormonal contrarian teens should not be able to hold their families hostage like she has. Y'all have treated her like a small child with a terminal diagnosis, and that's not doing her any favors. She needs boundaries and a mental
    via u/iseeisayibe
  • 19
    health professional. It wouldn't hurt for all of her parents (bio & step) to be in therapy, too (family & solo). As for this not being "fair", it isn't fair to make your other kids put up with her bulls It isn't fair to make her go on a vacation she'll abhor. Your husband is wrong. ✰ 2.5K ○ Reply
    via u/iseeisayibe
  • 20
    chasingkaty 8h ago INFO; Have any of the grown ups ever sat her down and asked her why she does this? She's 16, she's old enough to have a calm conversation about why she complains as soon as someone else likes something she enjoys.
    via u/chasingkaty
  • 21
    Maybe the fact you speak to her about it may help her realise someone has noticed (if she's trying to get station by doing it). ها 1.1K ○ Reply
    via u/chasingkaty
  • 22
    AdmirableSwing3138 •8h ago • NTA, it sounds like she is struggling to find her individuality. I wasn't this extreme but I definitely thought if I liked things people weren't keen on or didn't know about that I was unique and it was special. I didn't want to like the same things as everyone else either. I'm glad to say I grew
    via u/AdmirableSwing3138
  • 23
    out of it when I wanted to enjoy things with others and share experiences. You're doing a great job trying to help her figure it out, splitting time and activities with all parents. I think not bringing her is the perfect solution for everyone, you deserve to enjoy any vacation but especially such a pricy one I wouldn't risk an upset. My advice for when she starts grumping at places is to
    via u/AdmirableSwing3138
  • 24
    straight up ignore her. Keep having your fun and let her learn to join. ◇ 672 ○ Reply
    via u/AdmirableSwing3138
  • 25
    So this year, we had been talking about Disney for a while. My nephew has cancer and has always wanted to go with us because he has no siblings and not many friends because he's missed a lot of school. SD said it was stupid as soon as everyone else wanted to go.
    via Unsplash (Getty Images)

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teens family drama disney kids Female Empowerment stepmom parenting entitled family daughter Reddit mom children
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