Entitled Stepmother Bans Stepdaughter from School Clubs to Babysit Four Stepsiblings, Birth Mom Steps In and Shuts It Down: 'She's honestly pathetic to ask a 14-year-old for support'

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    r/AmltheAsshole ⚫3 hr. ago ScaredJob9198 AITA for telling my child's step-mother to grow up and stop asking a teenager for support?
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    I (39F) have two children, Kimmy, (14F) and (9M) and share custody with their father, Dave. Kimmy is starting high school soon and her school sent a list of their extracurriculars. I want my children to be academically inclined
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    and join clubs to meet people. I told Kimmy to pick some clubs, and as of right now she picked out 10 (which we are definitely going to shorten down). Kimmy sent a list of clubs to her father so he could help her. He didn't
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    respond and instead, I got a call from Dave's wife, Amy, a little later. Amy asked me if Kimmy was really going to join all of those clubs, and I said not all but probably some of them. Amy followed by asking if Kimmy
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    could only join one of the clubs on her list, which confused me. I asked why. Amy explained that she has to go to work soon, and she really needs someone to take care of her kids. She was hoping that Kimmy would be able to go to their house straight after school and take care of them.
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    Amy has 3 kids under 13, and recently had a baby with Dave. Kimmy has ADHD which makes it hard for her to care for her own needs. I already feel extremely uncomfortable leaving her with 4 kids that young unattended.
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    Amy didn't even mention transportation and how Kimmy would get there. I told her no. This upset Amy. She told me that Kimmy is a part of her family too, and as a family they all need to chip in and
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    according to her, Kimmy should chip in by babysitting. She ranted on, giving me a sob story as to how she was struggling already with Dave working, how hard it was to be mom to 4 kids who depend on her so much, and how expensive childcare was nowadays.
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    I told her no, and why I was uncomfortable, to which she just reiterated her story (this happened twice). By this time, I said no 3 times and she was still asking. I thought it was clear that no meant no, not no
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    and ask again later. I interrupted her and told her no is my final answer and she's honestly pathetic to ask a 14- year-old for support and it sounds she needs to grow up instead of relying on children to pick up her slack.
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    As you would expect, Amy and Dave are upset at me, which I don't really mind. My only issue is that when I told my sister, she thought I was being cruel which is making me rethink things. AITA?
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    Edit: A common question I'm being asked is what custody looks like. My kids go to their father's one week every month and stay with me for the rest.
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    CrewelSummer • 3h ago Aficionado [16] She ranted on, giving me a sob story as to how she was struggling already with Dave working, how hard it was to be mom to 4 kids who depend on her so much, and how expensive childcare was nowadays. Dang, too bad she just thought of these things right now when she learned the step-kid wasn't built in free childcare. Maybe if she hadn't assumed that a literal child would function as a free nanny for her, she
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    would have thought of all this over a year ago and realized that it would be a very bad decision to have another kid when things are already so difficult with the 3 she has. NTA. Amy does need to grow up and start making better long-term decisions so that she doesn't create situations for herself that she can't manage. She's failing to do that currently because she's assuming that someone else will bail her out of her bad decisions so the consequences will be mitigated and she can do what she wa
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    worse because she assumes that children will compensate for her bad adult decisions, which would be harmful to the children. Hold the line, and make Amy figure out how to clean up her own mess. If Kimmy steps in as daily childcare, I think there's a pretty good chance Amy gets pregnant again. Babies are so cute and fun when you get to hand them off to someone! But if Amy has to find her own solutions, I think there's a much better chance that Amy decides she's done after 4 because she's exceeded
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    . ohnosandpeople • 3h ago Pooperintendant [64] NTA. The fact that she wouldn't take no for an answer shows that they had already presumed Kimmy would be their primary child carer before she was even asked. I also noticed no mention of pay- is that due to FaMiLy too? ..Not Kimmy's shitshow or responsibility- good for you for sticking up for your daughter.
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    MiskiMoon • 3h ago NTA. Speak with Dave and make it very VERY clear that your kid won't be babysitting and helping unnecessarily. I don't care if the Stepmom needs help, it's not on the kid to help. You need to keep a close eye on her, she assumed she would have a built in babysitter, she will try and force your daughter to help when she goes over.
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    11SkiHill •3h ago | Aficionado [18] Go back to court and make the judge aware the step parent is trying to force your 14 year old to do unpaid labor. Tell husband NO. Your 14 year old cannot take the responsibility of her stepmother's kids. Hard NO. Tell him you are going to court over it.
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    Kukka63 • 3h ago Pooperintendant [63] NTA, it's absolutely outrageous that they expect a 14 year old to take care of 4 children, what a ridiculous idea. Kimmy is a young person who deserves to enjoy her life, attend clubs and other activities. Step-mum should have not had yet another child if she (and her partner) cannot manage.
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    Far_Quantity_6133 • 3h ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [30] NTA. Good for you for standing up for your daughter and her life. When 14 year olds are forced to babysit all day instead of pursue their interests and be a KID, it becomes parentification. It's one thing to ask her to babysit every once in a while, but you know that Amy was trying to make Kimmy her permanent help. That's insanely unfair, and if she didn't think she would be able to handle 3 kids under 13, she shouldn't have had that many. Let
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