Guy skips his brother's last-minute wedding, staying loyal to a boys trip he's had planned and booked for 2 years: 'They sent out invitations two months in advance'

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2024 2:00 PM EST

If you make a plan, you stick to it, right? And if you're the kind of flakey friend who always bails on your homies, you better believe they won't be planning a 3-week international vacation with you. So when this guy in our next story was faced with a family dilemma due to his spontaneous and entitled baby brother, he was backed into a corner, deciding whether he should follow his plan with friends or cancel everything to be there for his bro. 

Spontaneity is exciting, sure.

We see romantic comedies and television shows and plenty of other human stories glorifying the concept of 'being more spontaneous' in life, but there's a fine line between being serendipitous and being wildly irresponsible. While many 'free-spirited' folks would argue that this is always a great trait, for someone who plans ahead and meticulously puts together their life, having a wild-natured sibling can derail your whole life.

 Keep scrolling to read how this pair of brothers found themselves in a pickle when the eldest, who had been planning a once-in-a-lifetime trip abroad with his buddies was forced to choose: Attend his brother's last-minute wedding or follow through with the boys' trip that's been living in the group chat longer than baby bro has even known his fiancé.

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  • 01
    एक
    via Yogendra Singh

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to cancel a two-year planned trip to attend my brother's last-minute wedding? I (36M) have been planning a big trip with my two best friends for over two years. The trip is
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 03
    set for January, and it's a three- week adventure in another country, where we'll be celebrating New Year's together. I've been looking forward to this trip for ages, and I talk about it often since it's a huge deal to me. My friends and
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 04
    I all worked hard to get the time off, save up, and plan everything out, and honestly, this is a bucket-list kind of experience for us. Now, the issue: my brother (32M) and his girlfriend, who have been dating for about a year and a half, recently
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 05
    announced that they're getting married. They planned it all pretty fast and are having an intimate wedding with just close family and friends. They sent out invitations only two months in advance for a wedding that's in early January - right in the middle of my trip. To make
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 06
    things more complicated, my brother asked me to be his best man and give a speech. I was genuinely happy for him and politely reminded him that I wouldn't be able to attend because of this long-planned trip. He knows all about it since
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 07
    I've been talking about it a lot out of excitement. He kept insisting, though, saying he needs me there and that being his best man is more important than a "friends trip." I understand that a wedding is a big deal, and I do feel bad that I
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 08
    won't be there, but the timing is really tough. Canceling this trip would let down my two best friends (who aren't invited to the wedding, as they aren't friends with my brother) and would mean losing a ton of money.
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 09
    My family is split on this. Some think my brother should understand, while others think I'm being selfish for not adjusting my plans for his big day. AITA for sticking with my trip and not agreeing to be his best man?
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 10
    maDAMN-Pink you've been planning this adventure longer than your brother has known his future wife
    via maDAMN-Pink
  • 11
    Financial Bear 5071 NTA. When we booked our wedding, the first thing we did was check the date worked for the guests that were non- negotiable for us. You have a long-standing commitment to your friends, and to back out means not only would you lose money, but so would they.
    via Financial_Bear_5071
  • 12
    Tell your brother you would love to be there for him, but he was aware of your prior commitments, and they are set. If he needs you there so badly, he has the choice to move his wedding, or he can just accept he screwed up.
    via Financial_Bear_5071
  • 13
    yummy_pia Exactly. It sounds like OP planned this trip well in advance, while his brother's wedding was put together on short notice. Expecting OP to abandon a long-anticipated and costly trip isn't reasonable, especially when his brother was fully aware of the plans. Sometimes, timing just doesn't align, and that's okay
    via yummy_pia
  • 14
    Cute-Profession9983 NTA at all. He's known about this trip for 2 years and he's trying a power play. So unless he wants to rebook the trip at his expense AND find a way to pay you and your friends for the time you've already taken off, then you can talk. Until then, he can have his past minute wedding in May
    via Cute-Profession9983
  • 15
    Working Raccoon417 OP i think is more on pressure from his fiance, he is not that type, but since his is dating his gf he changed
    via Working_Raccoon417
  • 16
    throwaway34 4567 Then just let him know to talk to his fiancee or say you'll attend his 2nd wedding because he shouldn't be letting his fiancée dictate this. It's THEIR wedding not the finance get married to a pole type of thing so they need to
    via throwaway34_4567
  • 17
    consider of other people and their prior commitments or just have a court house wedding and set a celebration date on another time. It's really not that hard and for him to change in less than 2 years is just concerning.
    via throwaway34_4567
  • 18
    ConsistentCheesecake NTA--when he planned his wedding, he should have taken your prior plans into account imo. That's what my husband and I did when planning our wedding. We made sure it wasn't overlapping with his brother's graduation which was happening at a similar time.
    via ConsistentCheesecake

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