'I'm not coming to meetings anymore': Employee clears his schedule through Thanksgiving to complete a 130-page self-review after a 'busy work boss' forces him to submit an 825 question evaluation

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Jesse Kessenheimer • Writer and Editor
Nov 10, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Just doing what you told me to do, boss

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  • Annual reviews are important simply for the purpose of self-checking your progress and working with your manager to see which areas in your work-life could use a little polish. But when a micromanaging boss insists on turning your annual review into a gigantic project, the rest of your real work might take a hit–just like it did for this grateful and dutiful worker named u/FlopShanoobie.

    After receiving insane goals for the year from a new boss–who threw out the previous quota of 5 goals per year in lieu of his new 25-goal’ policy–this worker had decided to really go after it. He crushed it all year, earning himself a ton of gold stars from upper management, securing his position in the company, and even getting a promotion as the cherry on top. He was personally pretty excited to fill out his annual review because he wanted to gloat a little, but when his boss submitted a ‘required form' that he was supposed to work through for his review, the employee ogled at the 825 question sheet. 

    He calculated that this whole worksheet would take at least 48 business days to thoroughly complete, so he blocked out his calendar, set Slack on ‘busy,' and he got to work on the review… throwing his regular project load in the garbage until his malicious compliance was complete.

  • 01
    Doing the math I realized it was going to take me 48 business days to complete the remainder. I asked my boss if this is really what he intended and he said, 'Just do it like I said' Sure thing.
    via mojo_cp

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    We need more detail in my annual performance self-appraisal? Sure thing, boss! M
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 03
    At the end of every year we have to do this ridiculous self appraisal as part of our performance review. Normally it's 3 or 4 questions based on your goals for the past year: did you accomplish your goals, what roadblocks did you overcome, how did you become a better employee, etc.
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 04
    This year I got a new boss who, instead of the usual 5 goals, assigned me 25. Yes, a total of 25 highly specific goals for me to accomplish throughout the year. Since January I've been knocking them down and moving to the next one, or
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 05
    working on long-range projects that included multiple goals. I did really well, all things considered, and even got a promotion. Nice! That brings us to the annual performance evaluation. I had a
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 06
    lot of goals-25 of them, if you recall. My plan was to write a short essay that broke down the year by quarter and outlined all of the goals I met and a short description of how meeting that goal helped the team make progress. Clean, simple, and complete.
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 07
    Except my boss has this form. This form includes six sections with 4 to 7 questions per section, for a total of 33 separate questions ... per goal. That's 825 questions. Each question requires at least 150 words to be considered complete.
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 08
    He handed me the evaluation packet last week and said I needed to turn it in my Thanksgiving. After getting a couple of questions into the thing I realized it wasn't just asking for narrative, but data and analysis, sometimes
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 09
    multiple data points per question. I spent two entire days just completing one goal, which comprised 12 written pages, two spreadsheets, and 14 separate graphics. Doing the math I realized it was going to take me 48 business days to complete the remainder. I
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 10
    asked my boss if this is really what he intended and he said Just do it like I said. Sure thing. I cleared my calendar through Thanksgiving. Not one meeting. Declined all project
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 11
    requests in Asana. Turned on Busy in Teams. Turned on auto- replies in Outlook. For a full month. When my boss' boss - our VP - came by and asked why I wasn't responding to any requests or responding to | email I explained the situation.
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 12
    What's funny is he said, "Yeah, he's a real stickler for detail. I guess he needs to learn how to deal with reality. Carry on!" I'm up to about 130-odd written pages. This thing is
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 13
    going to be bigger than my dissertation! And he STILL hasn't come by to ask why I'm not coming to meetings anymore. Maybe this really is what he wants - a team lead doing useless paperwork for 6 weeks. Whatever. They're paying me.
    via FlopShanoobie
  • 14
    Popular-Drummer-7989 Make sure to include a bullet summarizing the total time you spent completing this exercise, the number of meetings you didn't attend, the number of emails you didn't answer?, etc. Why? Well when the next person asks for efficiency improvements you can explain
    via Popular-Drummer-7989
  • 15
    how much money the company will save by eliminating the annual review process. Micromanaging ignorant bosses want data to beat you with. Fail faster! It's my favorite corporate platitude. YOU GOT THIS!!
    via Popular-Drummer-7989
  • 16
    mods_on_meds We have to do them also. At last check I was 9 years behind . Every time they ask about it I say "Do it yourself or fire me I've been there 17 years now.
    via mods_on_meds
  • 17
    Switchlord518 We get bugged every year to so our year end self review. No one ever reads or acts on them so every other year I'm the best employee then the worst employee. Last year in the final comment section I added. "If someone reads this please contact me." With all my info. Haven't heard a thing in 11 months.
    via Switchlord518
  • 18
    Tea For Storytime And then you hear back from then ten years later: "hi, we've received your performance review and would like to discuss a few points, is Friday convenient for you?"
    via Tea_For_Storytime
  • 19
    69vuman Once you turn in your Book to the boss, begin immediately looking for another job (if not before). Boss doesn't want you there...he wants you to fail with your own review. Beat him to the punch. When you find another position, choose the most inconvenient time to turn in your notice. Extra points for every day earlier than 14 days.
    via 69vuman
  • 20
    greggery If your boss allows for anything less than half a day to do your performance review meeting then file a grievance with HR for him not taking your career development seriously.
    via greggery
  • 21
    countryinfotech Mirror mirror on the clock, dang I look good in this doc.....
    via countryinfotech

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boss worker employee annual review review manager job malicious compliance work coworkers working ceo employees supervisor workplace company coworker business annual
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