'This is the first time I have ever asked to have some time off': 22-year-old babysitter gets denied vacation time for her sister's wedding, boss tries to guilt trip babysitter into skipping it

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    AITA for for saying no to my boss after she asked me to watch her kids this weekend? So my (22F) sister is getting married this coming weekend and I will be gone Thursday-Sunday. I've had this known that I was going to be gone for 7 months... 7 MONTHS!! I would even remind every month or so just so I knew she knew.
  • 03
    I nanny two amazing kids who are 6 and 8. This is the first time I have ever asked to have some time off. My boss has always been like "Oh yeah sure! Sounds like a beautiful wedding." However I got a text 2 hours ago saying she really needed me this weekend and she couldn't find anyone else. I was ped but I know how to act calm, since ya know it's my job to stay happy and calm. I texted her back a quick apology but said I really didn't want to miss my sisters wedding as she's my only sibling.
  • 04
    Well boss woman went off the deep end and said that if I didn't show up to watch her kids this weekend that I won't have a job come Monday. I replied with this exactly." I'm so sorry that you are having a hard time looking for someone to cover, I can reach out to a few nanny friends I have and see if any of them would like to pick it up. This is a once in a life time moment for my sister and if it means I will lose my job then sadly I will have to accept that. I love this job and your kids and I
  • 05
    She threw a few insults at me and said I'm abandoning her kids. Idk what to do, I don't want to get a new job because I work so well with these two kiddos.
  • 06
    My mom told me I was an as for so quickly accepting that I might get fired and told me that work just sks sometimes and you have to it up. Mom says I should be an adult and just miss my sisters wedding... idk should I? Am I really that big of an AH for saying no?
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    Edit: Just to clarify me and my mom don't have a good relationship, I didn't ask her for her advice. She was in the room with my sister and I as I was venting to my sister. I would have gone no contact at 18 if it wasn't for my dad. Can we please stop talking about it now I have a lot of trauma from her but that's for another day lol.
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    ndcollector A 434 Aficionado [12] Your mom's right. Sometimes life s ks and you have to it up. That is sound advice - for your boss. Her weekend plans cannot trump her children. If she can't find coverage, she has to take care of them herself. That s but she has to ks, it up.
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    Outlandishness New259. A Aficionado [15] NTA if you give in on this she will not respect your time ever. Do you really think she's going to find a new nanny by Monday? No chance, it's an empty threat... and if it's not you don't need to work for that kind of a monster.
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    IgnorantKumquat. Tho it makes me wonder if mom has some sort of alterior motive in saying that. Even my dad is a massive hard a when it comes to work and he would sooner tell me to call my boss up and tell them to 'kiss my a I gave u a warning its ur job to find coverage' than to miss something as big as a wedding for someone he cared about.
  • 11
    djcack Exactly! Your job isn't your entire life. This wasn't a last second surprise wedding. Enjoy the beautiful experience and if you lose your job over it, then the job wasn't as good as you thought it was.
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    human61850 A Aficionado [19] ΝΤΑ It's not just about missing your sister's wedding. It's about setting boundaries now for how your boss is allowed to treat you in the future. If you give in, she will keep making unreasonable requests whenever it suits her and ignoring your needs for as long as you work for her.
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    DisneyViking A Enthusiast [8] Nta. Go to your sisters wedding. You can always get a new job or earn more money, this is a once in a lifetime event. Also, GREAT response to your boss! Very mature and professional. Side note. It sounds like your boss was trying to play chicken with you and didn't like you didn't back down.
  • 14
    Boring-Marsupial7299. ΝΤΑ I'm curious as to what your sister thinks about this. "Hey sis, Mum said my job is more important than your wedding."
  • 15
    Malibucat48 A Enthusiast [7] Of course NTA. If she can't find a babysitter for the weekend, how is she going to find a new nanny for Monday? And if nannies are in short supply, you can get another job. I can't believe your mother would take her side. You might like the children, but this mother is out of line. Of course go to your sister's wedding.

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