Mom forces 6-year-old daughter to change her last name to her stepfather's after her father's passing, refuses to pay to change it back when she turns 18 even though she said she would

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    AITA for telling my mom to shut the f since she's a liar and her opinion doesn't matter?
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    My dad died when I (18m) was 6. My parents had separated at the time and mom was already dating her husband at that point. They decided to get married and "give me a family unit" after dad losing dad. Then within a few months they were sitting me down to say they wanted to change my last name to their last name. Mom said it was important so that her husband could do his part to take care of me without issues concerning last names. I told her I wanted to keep my last name and her
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    husband wasn't my dad and I didn't want to lose more of dad. I even cried about how important it was to me. She and her husband promised me repeatedly that they would pay for me to change my name back as soon as I was 17/18 and it was only to make life easier while I was younger and people would make life more difficult for her husband to do certain things with me.
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    I always regretted it but believed for a long time they'd follow through. But about a year ago when I mentioned it to my mom she told me there was no rush and I told her I wanted the name changed before graduation so I could have it on my diploma. There was a lot of back and forth and her husband decided to add his own "what's the big deal anyway" comments occasionally. He'd also say his name had been my name longer than dad's name had been at that point and I said I didn't care and I wanted my
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    Eventually my mom admitted she wasn't going to pay for me to change it back and she believed I should keep her husband's name because he'd raised me for so long and had done so much. I said no. She told me it wasn't my choice and I told her she would not stop me once I turned 18. I also told her that she was never going to have a good relationship with me again after lying to me and letting me down. She called me overdramatic but I spent the rest of my time living with them cold and somewhat hos
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    I moved out of their house and in with my cousin and I filed the day after my 18th birthday to change my name back. My court date is coming up very soon and my mom knows about it because of extended family. She has tried to forbid me from changing my last name back and she even lied and said her husband adopted me too so I couldn't. But I confirmed that didn't happen. Eventually she told me I was disrespecting them as my parents. I told her then to shut the f because she's
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    a liar and I don't care what she has to say about this because her opinion does not matter here. My mom started crying and I told her good. I told her that she lost me over this and it was her own fault. I told her I would never have said yes to the change had I known and I told her to she was not in charge of me anymore. it up because Some extended family are backing my mom because of how I spoke to her and mom told me I had no reason to speak to her like I did. AITA?
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    Individual_Ad_9213 NTA. Your mom lied to you from the very get go; she (and your step father) had no intention of supporting your decision.
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    feraxks She lied to a 6yo. How of a parent do you have to be to lie to your 6yo like that?
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    Kooky Monk2908 The stepfather did not adopt him because the social security benefits OP received from his father's death would have stopped. Also they knew the judge would probably ask OP if he wanted to be adopted.
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    donna2tsuki Not to mention she lied FURTHER by saying OP was adopted. Like ΝΤΑ woman.
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    iseeisayibe NTA. She tried to erase your dad by manipulating and outright lying to you. That's not how a good parent behaves.
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    VirgoQueen84 THISSSSS!! How are the "family" glossing over that?! They lied to OP to manipulate him to erasing dad's last name and now these are the consequences!!! Mom and step dad royally! He could have still taken very good care of you without changing your name! They knew what they were doing all along
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    Rubychan228 NTA. You did have reason to speak to her like that. The reason was that she cruelly stole a part of your dead father from you and lied to make you comply with the theft. And now has the utter gall to be indignant at you trying to make yourself whole again.
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    If she didn't want you to be so angry, she shouldn't have stolen something so profound from you. And she is from another planet if she thinks she's somehow the victim because she merely got a tongue lashing after the awful, awful thing she did to you.
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    Mary_jan Not to mention, he was very clear on his intentions and values. His mom completely ignored them and kept pushing. After a certain point, you're allowed to call someone every curse in the book to have them back off. (But it seems she still hasn't backed off??)
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    SophieLove6969 Not the a hole, but your mom's definitely the 'A Liar Trying to Adopt' type. I get it though; changing your name to his just to make things 'easier'? Girl, she played the longest con on you. Her logic was basically, 'We bought you a family pack, and we need the receipt to match!' You were 6, not signing a new cell phone contract! Also, why does she think crying is going to suddenly make you go, 'Oh, you're right, all the manipulation and lies are forgiven now!' News flash: Tears d
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    LL2JZ I just love you. Truthfully, it is so nice to actually see someone stand up for themselves and not back down. I'm so done with the spineless "I kept the peace and now I'm miserable" post. You have made my entire day. Stand strong. Your mom's an a_h_le and you deserve the last name you're connected to. Proud of you keep being outspoken and strong
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    This_Mark5397 Why do some mothers do this??? My daughter has her dad's last name. Me my husband and son all have the same last name. I would never ever expect my daughter to change her name to please me or my husband. It's absolutely ridiculous and disgusting. When me and my husband got married I never even thought of asking her to change her name like why would I it's not right. You're mother done it to please her husband she didn't do it for you she did it for her and him. What a b.....
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    Nolmagination7892 Quite often, when the child is that young and the father has passed, the child is adopted by the step-father. I assumed this was the case until OP said that he wasn't adopted. It's odd that she changed his name but didn't go through the adoption. I can understand her wanting them all to have the same name. I don't understand the lying and false promises.
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    West-Resource-1604 I wanted the name changed before graduation so I could have it on my diploma. Have you graduated already? If so go to a community college (AKA junior college - 2yr) and honor your dad by getting his name on that NTA & shame on both of them. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving with the family you choose
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    Mission_Picture_94 OP I already graduated which felt to graduate with this name. . I didn't want
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    Quick-Green3115 Not sure if it's possible, but after you get your name changed, go talk to the registrar at your high school. They may be able to reprint your diploma with your real name on it. I know college's do it and I'm almost positive that the high school I work at would do this for a kid if they told the whole story.

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