Criticizing Parents Get Involved in Daughter’s Family Life, Her Husband Refuses to Attend Thanksgiving Dinner in Response, Leaving Daughter Torn

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    I told her I don't want to attend Thanksgiving at their place if I'm going to be treated this way, but she says I'm overreacting and making things difficult for her.
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    AITAH for Refusing to Attend Thanksgiving Dinner Because My Wife Keeps Siding with Her Parents Over Me?
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    My wife and I have been married for 5 years, and while I love her deeply, there's an issue that's causing a lot of strain in our relationship. Her parents are very
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    involved in our lives, and they tend to voice their opinions on everything—from how we spend our money to how we should be raising our kids (we have two). I'm not close with my own family, so I
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    always hoped my in-laws would feel like family to me. Instead, it feels like they criticize every decision I make, and my wife doesn't defend me. Whenever they make a comment about my
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    job or our parenting choices, she just sits there or, worse, agrees with them. Last week, her dad made a dig about my job, saying something like, "If you worked harder, maybe you could afford a
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    better home for the kids." My wife just laughed it off, and I felt humiliated. I later told her how much that hurt, but she brushed it off, saying, "That's just how they are." I told her I don't want
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    to attend Thanksgiving at their place if I'm going to be treated. this way, but she says I'm overreacting and making things difficult for her. Am I in the wrong
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    for wanting to skip Thanksgiving if it means avoiding more of their disrespect, especially when my wife won't back me up?
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    Tasty Research1056 OP • 2d ago · I just feel stuck between wanting to keep peace with my wife's family and standing up for myself. It's hard because I love my wife, but I don't want to keep feeling disrespected in my own relationship.
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    Key_Speech5141 .2d ago. Dude, if you don't stand your ground now, later will be too late. Let's face it, there are expectations from you, and unless you are respected even if you provide everything later, it can be called as "not man enough".
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    Tasty Research1056 OP • 2d ago • Thanks, I think you're right—it's about setting boundaries now before things get worse. I need to make sure I'm respected in my own family.
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    Ordinary-Stop3123 2d ago • Exactly, OP don't need to deal with this toxic bulls
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    Tasty Research1056 OP • 2d ago Yeah, I'm getting tired of this constant disrespect
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    kentdrive • 2d ago • 100% NTA. If my father in law insulted me and my job to my face in front of my wife and she laughed about it, I'd say there are several ah_les here and none of them is you.
    via kentdrive
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    At best, he's an insensitive jok. At worst, he's a grade-A hole. What kind of man behaves that way? She's behaving really badly for not defending you in front of him. Not going to Thanksgiving? HOI, I would not only never go to their
    via kentdrive
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    house again, I would forbid them from entering mine. And you need to consider if your wife really has your best interests at heart.
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    Tasty Research 1056 OP • 2d ago That's exactly how I feel! It's one thing to be criticized, but it's worse when my wife doesn't back me up. I really need to figure out where her loyalty lies.
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    FoxySlyOldStoatyFox •2d ago I know people who train dogs by squirting them with a water pistol every time they misbehave. Perhaps inform your wife you will be employing the same strategy. "I will be filling the water pistol with p can be a surprise.
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    Tasty Research1056 OP.2d ago • Haha, that made me laugh! If only things were that simple...
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    superrm81 2d ago • Your wife is the number 1 problem here. If she's not in your side, who is? This is HER family, she should be dealing with them on this - instead she's dismissing you.
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    Tasty Research1056 OP • 2d ago • Exactly, it hurts that she won't stand up for me.
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    • Snapbeangirl 2d ago • Look, baby you just got to tell them people. That they are not being helpful. Tell them because the truth is gonna set you free. Also in all fairness to them they may not even be cognitive of what they're doing. Good luck!
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    Tasty Research1056 OP • 2d ago • Good point. Maybe I just need to be straightforward with them instead of keeping it bottled up.
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    Internal_Emu_4879 • 2d ago • If you don't say something now it's only going to get WORSE! She's waiting to your children are old enough, to understand what the grandparents are saying because you know they WILL put YOU down in front of the kids! YOU SERIOUSLY NRED to tell them to their faces
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    you're not attending any function with them because of how they're always disrespecting you AND you're forbidding YOUR children from attending as well!
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    Tasty Research1056 OP • 2d ago · You're right, I don't want this negativity to rub off on my kids
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