Parents demand $250k from wealthy son so they could buy a house, son denies them the money, leading to a family dispute: ‘You were born as a retirement plan’

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Nov 14, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Do parents truly think that just because they decided to have and raise kids, their kids owe them anything in return as they get older?

The funny thing is, if parents don't act like they are entitled to anything from their kids, and simply raise their kids with love and compassion, then the kids would grow up feeling like they want to help their parents when they are older, which is much better than feeling like they have to. But once parents act and talk to their kids as if their entire purpose in life should be to help and support them, then they can forget about a healthy family dynamic, or a good relationship with their kids, for that matter.

This twisted mentality plagues the family in this Reddit story, and we can already see how it affects the relationship between the parents and their kids. OP (original poster) was asked by his parents to provide them with $250,000 for a new house, but he told them he would not give them the money. They, in return, accused him of not helping them enough in their old age, which led to a whole dispute over family dinner.

Scroll down to read the full story. After you are done, click here for a story of an employee who got tired of carrying the company on their backs.

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    Cheezburger Image 10428367872
    via RuslanGuzov

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    Denied my parents $250k
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 03
    I had dinner with my family a week ago. It was to celebrate my younger sister for getting into a medical fellowship. We are 10 years apart in age. The first 15 minutes into dinner my parents
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 04
    asked me for $250k so they could downsize and buy a house (retired). First I don't have that amount of cash lying around and told them I'd have to sell my investments to raise that amount
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 05
    of cash and I don't want to pay tax. Then I told them to sell their current house first, come live with me, and then buy another house using the money they received from the previous house.
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 06
    It all seemed fine until my mom started to criticize me about money later. She may resent me for not buying her much stuff when I first had a real job. I make mid 6 figures but I've also had to
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 07
    pay back almost $160k in loans. She said that I don't give enough for her birthday and that I don't see her as anything. She also said I never was generous to her
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 08
    anyway so she didn't expect me to give her any money. To be honest, I gave her $50. But I also take them out to dinner every month even though I hate it.
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 09
    They're extremely negative people. Always bickering and just overall will bring your happiness level down for a day or two but I do it because they're my parents. Always talking to me about divorce.
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 10
    Anyway. Am I in the wrong here for denying them the money? And should I be more generous to them? I feel like a burden to them up until the point I made money.
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 11
    Edit: Lots of astute folks here wondering if if it's a cultural thing. I'm Asian. I don't think though, that my other Asian friends have had that big of an ask by their parents. That probably explains a lot, however,
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 12
    I don't think my other Asian friends have had this big of an ask from their parents. Doesn't seem like they grew up feeling like a burden to them either. And yes this is real. Unfortunately my
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 13
    parents--especially my mom-- really know how to cloud my judgement and lay down the guilt.
    via Livid_Fox_1811
  • 14
    Very-last-boyscout If all this is really true, then your parents are weird and your mother has to see a therapist stat. I'm the father of two grown-up daughters. First off, I don't want to say, I would never ever ask my
    via Very-last-boyscout
  • 15
    children for money. But it would have to be a really dire situation. I mean really bad. Horribly bad. So bad, I don't want to think about it even hypothetically. And then what the f... is wrong with your mother, that she keeps tabs on
    via Very-last-boyscout
  • 16
    the value of your presents? Who does that? She is a grown up woman. She can get her own stuff. I love my kids, my kids love me. We like to spend time together. But for my last. birthday, I got a book. And for Christmas, it was a voucher for
    via Very-last-boyscout
  • 17
    bowling with the two of them. And I liked the book and liked to go bowling with them. Period. Your mother is not only a negative person. There is something really wrong with her self esteem and her perception of her and her personal relationships.
    via Very-last-boyscout
  • 18
    EconomicsWorking6508 NTA They're greedy. But why did you tell them you have so much money in investments? They have their eyes on it now.
    via EconomicsWorking6508
  • 19
    Status_Purchase_7904 Nta, also you can go low contact with them if you don't like spending time with them.
    via Status_Purchase_7904
  • 20
    Vegetable-Cod-2340 NTA I would stop, if I'm not giving enough, try living with nothing. I would also warn your sister that they will try to get her to support them too. Honestly I'd go no contact.
    via Vegetable-Cod-2340
  • 21
    JipC1963 For some reason, SOME Parents think they deserve to be PAID BACK for raising their children! They DON'T! I think it's incredibly entitled and extremely hypocritical that your Parents
    via JipC1963
  • 22
    are asking you for such an outrageous amount of money when THEY didn't pay for your College that gave you the opportunity to MAKE the salary you bring in. WHAT reason did they give you for NOT selling their current home to buy a "smaller, downsized retirement home?"
    via JipC1963
  • 23
    Which is how NORMAL homeowners usually obtain new homes, unless they have the extra cash laying around. Good for YOU for asking them this VERY reasonable question (which doesn't sound like they ever responded to, btw)!
    via JipC1963
  • 24
    Beard ManMichael NTA $250K was an absurd thing to ask from you. Instead, they should just follow your very reasonable advice regarding selling their home, temporarily moving in with you, and then using money from that sale for a new home.
    via BeardManMichael
  • 25
    se bearyken NTA.. you were born as a retirement plan
    via bearyken

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family drama aita entitled parents drama kids house mother reddit story entitled family retirement Reddit money parents children Father
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