Woman Openly Justifies Being Home Wrecker in a Previous Relationship, Current Boyfriend Left in Shock as She Exposes Her Red Flags

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Nov 19, 2024 6:00 PM EST

Welcome, web-surfin' sisters. They say it takes about two years before you really get to know someone that you're in a relationship with. Before that, it can be difficult to pick up on their negative traits and habits. You might chalk up a red flag as a one-off before you pick up on a toxic pattern. The lucky ones figure out that they aren't a great match within a year and can break up and move on without much damage done. However, many unfortunate individuals only see their partner's red flags after they've invested a ton of time, money, and emotion into the relationship. 

In our story today, our protagonist, a man in a three-year relationship, is shocked to hear his girlfriend justify her behavior in a previous relationship. Her self-righteousness and refusal to admit that she was in the wrong by hooking up with a married man leads him to realize her true views on cheating and infidelity. With her red flags exposed, he reconsiders the whole relationship. Scroll down for all the details!

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  • 01
    r/AmlOverreacting u/FutureOpportunity718. 1d AIO My girlfriend justified sleeping with a married man before me met and I'm looking at her differently now
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 02
    My girlfriend and I have been together for about 3 years now. Last weekend my girlfriend was at the bar and she told me she saw an old member there from her work (she works at a golf course) and he made a comment that deeply upset her. When I asked what he said, she said he made a comment on how the cameras don't miss anything at the course. She knew exactly what this meant and she called him an a hole. When I asked what that comment meant she told me this;
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 03
    Apparently a couple years before we met she recently started working at the golf course. She's a good looking girl, so it's pretty common she gets hit on alot at work. She had hooked up with memebrs before (this I knew) but there was a married guy who took a liking to her, and over the course of the summer she started gaining attraction to him as well. They apparently hooked up at the golf course a couple times, in the bush and in the washrooms in the clubhouse, and apparently atleast one of the
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 04
    It was a pretty wild story, and I asked her if she knew he was married. She said "Oh yeah, but I didn't do anything wrong by hooking up with him." When I asked what she meant, she said that she was single at the time and having fun, and the responsibility was all on him since he was married and should know better, and if it wasn't her it would have been someone else.
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 05
    Honestly the whole thing has left a bad taste in my mouth. Sure she may have been single, and it happened 6+ years ago now, but if I was single and someone who I knew was married approached me to hook up I'd say h I no, because I can't imagine doing that to someone's partner. Am I overreacting here? ۵ 3,425 ↓ 1,933 D
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 06
    CurrencyBackground83 • 1d NOR but that's because of my own morals. I have been approached by a few married men and I declined. I personally don't want to be part of the reason someone else's life or outlook on relationships is ruined. I've seen firsthand the damage that it does and would never be able to justify it to myself. Sure, it's his responsibility to stay faithful but if you are a willing participant and know they're married, I still feel you are a pretty horrible
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 07
    person. Yes the blame is on them but I think it says a lot about your character that you think it's ok and I have to wonder about how faithful you yourself will be. I know many people aren't going to agree with that take but the two people I know who were the other woman also were cheaters themselves. I ended our friendships because I quickly realized people who lack loyalty to a SO will lack loyalty to you as well.
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 08
    I personally would not want to be with someone who has that mindset BUT it's not something that is a deal breaker for everyone. You need to figure out if it is for you and if you are able to look past that. Reply 859
    via u/FutureOpportunity718
  • 09
    Bad_Elbow_⚫ 1d I think part of it too is if you are with someone who is married you know you are complicit with the lie he is going to tell his wife. Your actions are embedded in the lie and it's as if you told it yourself. So it makes you appear less trustworthy as a romantic partner. 255
    via u/Bad_Elbow_
  • 10
    Ready-Zombie5635. 1d Yeah, I guess we all have different standards, and I'd say yours are certainly higher than hers especially since she doesn't seem to think she has done anything wrong in the slightest. Reply 879
    via u/Ready-Zombie563
  • 11
    Little_Loki918 1d NOR. This is a clear morality difference. Unfortunately, she hasn't grown at all as she currently said that she did nothing wrong. Had she said she was a stupid, young woman and would never do that now, it wouldn't be so gross. But the utter lack of accountability would sketch me out and I wouldn't trust her. Reply 278
    via u/Little_Loki918
  • 12
    KarpGrinder • 1d NOR. She is telling you what she really thinks about infidelity, and when someone shows you who they really are you should believe them. - Reply 832
    via u/KarpGrinder
  • 13
    Ecstatic_Worker_1629 • 1d You are not overreacting because it shows what kind of person she could be. I agree 100% with KarpGrinder. Character flaws are a big deal to me, and it seems like it is to the OP as well, but being with someone for three years will be a hard thing to breakup from.
    via u/Ecstatic_Worker_1629
  • 14
    The funny feeling you have is justified. If it turns into something where you have less and less respect for her as time goes on then I would probably just start the breakup process and become a bit distant just to make it easier when you end up breaking up. 37
    via u/Ecstatic_Worker_1629
  • 15
    RadishEquivalent139 • 1d agreed, my advice is to ask her something along the lines of "you helped someone cheat, why do you think that you did nothing wrong?" it might point it out for her 136
    via u/RadishEquivalent139
  • 16
    DoctorMyEyes_ • 1d I don't think so. She isn't saying infidelity is fine, she's saying in that scenario it wasn't her responsibility as she was single. I happen to disagree with that mentality, and would be concerned if she still feels that way 6 years later, but it's absolutely not a reflection on her views of loyalty. ... 35
    via u/DoctorMyEyes_
  • 17
    ContestFabulous1420 1d I also feel like it's irresponsible to hook up at work. That alone shows immaturity and irresponsibility. Especially with members? Not a good look at all. Reply 120
    via u/ContestFabulous1420
  • 18
    CuriousPenguinSocks • 1d As far as vows go, she is right, he made the vows and not her. However, it shows a lack of moral character to do something like that knowingly. I could understand a little more if she wasn't aware and then became aware he was married, I think that would have been an appropriate response like 'I didn't know but also I didn't make the vows' kind of thing.
    via u/CuriousPenguinSocks
  • 19
    She is trying to justify knowingly sleeping with a married person. Nah, NOR, I wouldn't put my time in with anyone, romantic or friendship, that thought this was okay. Reply 96
    via u/CuriousPenguinSocks
  • 20
    throwaway22336852 • 1d If she didn't express remorse, concern, guilt, shame, then her moral compass is still off and that is something you should consider from here on out. Reply 54
    via u/throwaway22336852
  • 21
    Blacc Male 1d NOR, I'd feel the same way. Cheating yourself or causing someone else to cheat knowing they're in a relationship is the same in my book Reply 141
    via u/BlaccMale
  • 22
    lowkeyhobi 1d Her moral compass is way off. The fact that you made this post without ending it already...gooooddd luck with that Reply 79
    via u/lowkeyhobi
  • 23
    L Undisputed Nonsense ⚫ 1d • It shows she has no respect for relationships or marriage Reply 6 3 ♡
    via u/UndisputedNonsense

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