Woman Snubbed at ‘Child-Free’ Wedding, But Put in Place By Honest Sister Who Reveals Why She Didn’t Make a Profit: ‘People don’t want to come to a child-free wedding’

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Nov 28, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. Weddings should be one of the most significant days of someone's life. People say it goes by in a flash, that the bride and groom barely have enough time or attention to really stay present to absorb everything that happens during their special day. Although weddings have a beautiful veil on the surface, underneath can be some motives and manipulations that aren't exactly derived from a place of love. We've all heard of the infamous 'Bridezilla,' but how far are people really willing to go?

In this Reddit thread, the original poster (OP) is a woman whose sister just got married. Her sister demanded a 'child-free' wedding, which is atypical for any society or culture, but especially theirs. Due to her restraints, many invitees weren't able to make the occasion. After OP's sister realizes she didn't make a profit on the wedding, she complains to her sister, in hope of some comfort. All she receives is the hard truth though. 

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  • 01
    r/AITAH 15 hr. ago RhubarbSea4527 AITAH for telling my sister it "should've been obvious" that she would receive less money if she had a child free wedding?
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 02
    My 24F sister 27F got married last year. She had a child free wedding. The wedding itself was beautiful, but there were a few things my sister was unhappy with.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 03
    1. she didn't make a profit from her wedding. In our culture, generally the monetary gifts you get from guests more than cover the cost of the wedding itself. Couples are ideally going to walk away with more money than they spent.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 04
    This didn't happen for my sister because our cousins and some of her friends didn't gift as much money as they normally would have because they had to pay for babysitting for 2-3 days.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 05
    This is mainly because my sister and I are the youngest out of our siblings, and are part of the youngest out of our first cousins as well. All of our older siblings and most of our first cousins have kids. Plus child free weddings are just not a thing in our culture, so this was a foreign concept to majority of the guests but most
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 06
    people were good sports about it. 2) some guests she really wanted to be there couldn't make it.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 07
    For example, our niece, who is 4 has a heart condition and my brother and SIL are very picky about who can babysit her - the list only consists of them and my mom.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 08
    My sister was gutted when my SIL said she wouldn't be able to attend because she would have to stay home with niece.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 09
    Overall, most people with kids that came with their spouse gave reduced amounts because they had to pay for 2-3 days of full day babysitting, and the people that gave the expected amounts didn't bring their spouse for all of the events which also upset my sister.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 10
    Also, some of the older guests who originally would've given the most money didn't come because they thought my sister's "concept for her wedding was strange".
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 11
    She was venting to me and saying she just wanted everyone she loved to be there but wanted a more adult setting so she didn't want kids. And she was pointing out how everyone attended our cousin's wedding last week and that she profited from her wedding.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 12
    She kept asking me why people didn't show up and didnt give as much for her wedding. Whether they like cousin more than they like her.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 13
    I told her that I don't think thats the case, it's just that our siblings and most of our cousins have kids, so logistically some of them wouldn't make it and/or give less because they need to hire babysitters.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 14
    And I reminded her that while we were planning her wedding we were talking about how the boomers in our family might not give as much as they would've because she's not being "family oriented"
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 15
    She started crying and asked me whether I was saying "it was her fault and that it should've been obvious that she would receive less". I told her I wasn't saying that.
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 16
    She called me horrible and is currently ignoring my calls. I mean, did I say something super wrong?
    via u/RhubarbSea4527
  • 17
    HoshiJones 15h ago Top 1% Commenter NTA, you literally just answered the question she kept asking you.
    via u/HoshiJones
  • 18
    BlueGreen_1956 • 15h ago • ΝΤΑ Top 1% Commenter Wait! You told your sister the truth? Are you crazy??? Like so many posters on this sub, she found out that her choices come with consequences.
    via u/BlueGreen_1956
  • 19
    blablablablaparrot 14h ago Top 1% Commenter "She started crying and asked me whether I was saying "it was her fault and that it should've been obvious that she would receive less". •
    via u/blablablablaparrot
  • 20
    Your sister sure likes to think of herself as a victim, doesn't she? Why do you keep calling her? So she can put more words in your mouth... and let's be honest; you'll let her do so. I'd leave her to sulk.
    via u/blablablablaparrot
  • 21
    tarnishau14 14h ago • NTA. Your sister - "I didn't follow any of the traditions I don't like. Why didn't the guests follow the ones I do? ' SMH.
    via u/tarnishau14
  • 22
    Agoraphobe961 • 14h ago • Top 1% Commenter NTA. She can't have her cake and eat it too. Babysitting for multiple days is expensive and not always logistically possible for parents to do, especially for kids like your niece who have health issues.
    via u/Agoraphobe961
  • 23
    Weddings can be expensive for not just the couple but guests as well as they have to get a gift, an outfit, travel expenses/hotels, etc. If they budget $1,000 for her wedding and then need to spend $300 for babysitting, guess which category it's coming out of.
    via u/Agoraphobe961
  • 24
    CompanyEuphoric • 14h ago • Top 5% Commenter "Should've been obvious"? No, no, you're just the messenger of painfully predictable consequences. She wanted a child-free wedding, which is fine, but expecting profit from a setup
    via u/CompanyEuphoric
  • 25
    where half your guests are paying for babysitters and the other half are baffled by the concept? That's like opening a vegan steakhouse and wondering why no one's ordering the filet mignon. You're not the a h le; you're just the person brave enough to state the obvious.
    via u/CompanyEuphoric

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