'I guess you'll have Thanksgiving without a turkey then': Selfish Friend Demands She Bring Her Dog to Thanksgiving Dinner After Host Sets "No Pets" Boundary, She Then Uninvites Herself and Refuses to Bring the Turkey in Response

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Blake Seidel • Managing Editor & Brand Manager
Dec 3, 2024 10:00 AM EST

Hey there, animal fam. We have to admit that we are one of those people who likes to bring our dog with us everywhere. She's perfectly behaved, a very good girl (yes she is), and we just love sharing our experiences with her. That being said, we always ask permission before bringing her with us, especially if it's in someone else's space. We thought that this was a pretty common practice for dog owners, until we saw this doggo disaster of a post. 

There are many reasons why someone might not be comfortable with your dog in their house - maybe they don't want to clean up dog hair (fair, we also don't like the endless amount of shedding), maybe they live in a small space, or maybe they just don't like dogs. Even though our baby girl is perfect (yes she is), we can't force other people to like her. Well, after the selfish friend in this post was told that she couldn't bring her dog to a Friendsgiving dinner, she promptly uninvited herself and her turkey as well! 'I guess you'll just have Thanksgiving without a turkey then,' she said. Guess she and her doggo are going to be eating turkey at home alone this Thanksgiving. Scroll down to read the whole juicy (hopefully as juicy as her turkey) post below!

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  • 01
    AA for not allowing my husband's friend to bring her dog to Thanksgiving dinner?
    via u/WarningKey4701
  • 02
    'She then interrupted and said, "No, I feel sorry for you, since you won't have a turkey," and hung up.'
    via evgenyb
  • 03
    My husband asked if we could host Thanksgiving this year. We usually don't host because our apartment is small, and we don't have guest parking, but he was really excited. We used to host events at our old place, and it was fun. Most of our guests are friends, and everyone agreed to bring a dish. One of his friends, let's call her Chelsey, volunteered to make the turkey.
    via u/WarningKey4701
  • 04
    On Thanksgiving day, one of his other friends asked if she could bring her cat. I said no pets because, as mentioned, we live in a small apartment, and it's a dinner gathering. I didn't think it would be comfortable for anyone, including the pets. My husband suggested we also let Chelsey know about our no-pet rule, and I agreed. I was a bit hesitant, though, because Chelsey is one of those people who likes to bring her dog everywhere. If she can't bring the dog, she arranges for a dog sitter. In
    via u/WarningKey4701

    Chelsey sounds problematic already. If her dog was a puppy, we would understand. We also got a sitter for our doggo when she was a puppy and we had to go out, they are so young and need constant care during that age. But, if her dog is a full-grown adult, the dog will probably be fine at home.

  • 05
    I told my husband to text her to check if she was planning on bringing her dog, as I didn't think it would be a good idea. I also offered to talk to her myself because my husband isn't as comfortable with confrontations. He texted her, and she called afterward. He put her on speaker, and I could tell she was upset from the tone of her voice.
    via u/WarningKey4701

    Well, they probably shouldn't have waited until Thanksgiving day to tell Chelsea she couldn't bring her doggo - that's a bit short notice. And, knowing that she has a history of making a scene around these things, that was irresponsible of them.

  • 06
    Chelsey told me she always brings her dog everywhere, and I pointed out that wasn't entirely true, since we've been to several events where she didn't bring the dog (which is true). She then asked why we hadn't mentioned this before the invitation, and I explained that I didn't think it was necessary to mention it since I assumed it was understood that bringing pets to a dinner without asking isn't typical, especially when we don't even have pets ourselves.
    via u/WarningKey4701
  • 07
    At this point, she got upset and said, "Well, I guess you'll have Thanksgiving without a turkey then." I was surprised because it felt like she was trying to pressure me into letting her bring the dog, implying that she wouldn't come without it. I don't like being pressured, especially in my own home, so I calmly responded that I was sorry she felt that way. She then interrupted and said, "No, I feel sorry for you, since you won't have a turkey," and hung up.
    via u/WarningKey4701
  • 08
    So, AA for saying no to her bringing her dog? I feel like I was just setting a reasonable boundary, but now I'm second-guessing myself.
    via u/WarningKey4701
  • 09
    Tiny_Incident_2876 • 1d ago. When hosting, you never depend on your guest to bring the main entree. If you can't cook, you always find a restaurant that cooks dinner for holiday for price, the key is always buy more
    via u/Tiny_Incident_2876
  • 10
    Flower-of-Telperion 1d ago . Part ipant [2] NTA but what is with your friends? One of them wanted to bring their cat?! They seriously wanted to wrangle their cat into a carrier and transport it to a strange environment for a single afternoon/evening? Chelsey's dog really can't be alone for a few hours? Has everyone gone insane?
    via u/Flower-of-Telperion
  • 11
    Kthaeh 1d ago A hole Aficionado [14] NTA. You set a boundary about your own home. Dog owners who assume their dogs are welcome everywhere no matter how many are people or businesses accommodate them.
    via u/Kthaeh
  • 12
    Dogs were commonly left at home. for centuries and did just fine. There's absolutely no reason dogs can't be left at home for the length of a social event these days. And if this happens to not be true about some individual dog, it's still not everyone else's obligation to accept that dog in any and every space.
    via u/Kthaeh
  • 13
    TemptingPenguin369 1d ago • Commander in Cheeks [230] INFO: This was a dinner on Thanksgiving Day, and on that same day, you spoke to Chelsey about not bringing her dog? Chelsey, the woman who "has caused some tension when her dog wasn't allowed at other events"? If this is the correct timeline, ESH. Chelsey for trying to invite her dog along to everything. (I love my dog, but unless she's explicitly invited to accompany me by the host, she stays home.) Your husband, for not
    via u/TemptingPenguin369
  • 14
    stays home.) Your husband, for not telling "his friend" that her dog wasn't welcome, and acting as though he's just avoiding a confrontation when no confrontation is needed. "Our place is small so no pets are invited" is not confrontational, but he dumped the job of talking to Chelsey on you. And you, for assuming that "it was understood that bringing pets to a dinner without asking isn't typical" when you know Chelsey always tries, and waiting till the absolute last minute to let her know her d
    via u/TemptingPenguin369
  • 15
    Ucyless 1d ago • • NTA. Make sure you post tons of pictures of the turkey you make.
    via u/Ucyless
  • 16
    toosheeptheorist . 1d ago . Colo-rectal Surgeon [42] NTA - I have a dog, and I like to bring her along when I go places. However, I am also aware that not everywhere is appropriate to bring my dog, in which case I leave her at home. If I would like to bring my dog with me to someone's house, no matter the reason, I check to make sure that I can bring her - I do NOT assume that I can. Chelsey was definitely the AH in this situation in basically holding a turkey hostage. I hope you were able to sa
    via u/toosheeptheorist
  • 17
    hope you were able to salvage the dinner without her contribution. I would also rethink inviting her to your place ever again, if this is how she reacts to a simple request of leaving her pet at home.
    via u/toosheeptheorist
  • 18
    Perfect-Ad-8582 • 1d ago. NTA, not by a mile. She is for using the turkey as leverage/punishment & dropping out knowing she was in charge of the turkey. I would start distancing myself from Chelsey. Thats not a very good friend.
    via u/Perfect-Ad-8582
  • 19
    3boymum 1d ago • That's called cutting off your nose to spite your own face. You may not have a turkey, but she's not having a Thanksgiving dinner with friends.
    via u/3boymum
  • 20
    pixie-ann 1d ago Part ipant [4] NTA who on earth takes their cat to friend's places for dinner? It must be a pretty unusual cat to feel comfortable enough in a stranger's house not to wee on things or claw them. Does the friend bring litter for the cat? Nobody should be just assuming they can bring their dog anywhere unless it's a legitimate certified service dog and even then you give people a heads up.
    via u/pixie-ann
  • 21
    Shdfx1 . • 1d ago Edited 1d ago NTA. Chelsea was behaving like a horrible guest. It's not a punishment if she refuses to come, and it wouldn't leave you with no turkey. You'd just cook a turkey. It's easy. It just sits in the oven a few hours getting a basted bath. There are no complicated steps.
    via u/Shdfx1
  • 22
    In general, the host prepares the main dish, and people bring sides. Turkey can cook faster or slower than anticipated, depending on the internal temperature of the turkey at the start, and the oven. It's difficult to have a turkey ready at an exact time, and then transporting a large, hot, juicy turkey, with a dog in the car, would be a logistical feat.
    via u/Shdfx1
  • 23
    Where you were wrong was waiting until Thanksgiving day to have this discussion. It appears someone else asking to bring her cat triggered the thought to calm Chelsea. Realistically, you know she brings her dog everywhere she can.
    via u/Shdfx1
  • 24
    No_Biscotti8470 • 1d ago • Oh my god dog people are so annoying
    via u/No_Biscotti8470
  • 25
    byrandomchance20 1d ago. Part ipant [3] • NTA. It's perfectly reasonable not to allow pets in your home or personal spaces for ANY reason, dinner party or not. You probably should have considered Chelsey's history with her dog and made it clear to her at the time of the invitation that the event was for her only, dog not allowed. However, you did let her know ahead of time and her poor reaction is on her, not you.
    via u/byrandomchance20
  • 26
    Ireland1169 Part NTA • 1d ago • ipant [4] Massive dog lover here, but I would never think of bring my dog to anyone's house regardless of whether they have pets or not. Buy a turkey, cooked or fresh, she is a manipulative B**ch, she is not good at it but she is trying, let her eat her turkey with her (no doubt lovely) dog. Your home your rules.
    via u/Ireland1169
  • 27
    Senator_Bink .1d ago. Sounds like the turkey stayed home with her dog. Good. NTA.
    via u/Senator_Bink

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refuse invitation demands dogs boundary pets thanksgiving dog owner friends selfish Turkey dinner host animals holidays
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