26-year-old plans trip to South Korea and Japan for her and 3 of her friends, backs out when friends add 3 other people to the trip without her permission: 'It is kind of a logistical nightmare to plan a trip consisting of 7 people'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
May 4, 2025 8:00 PM EDT

Planning a group trip is never easy, but there are certainly levels to its difficulty. Planning a trip with four people is a whole different ball game than planning it with 7 or 8 people. Everyone who has done the latter has had some kind of nightmare situation as a result of it. This summer I went on my first big girls trip and disaster arose before we even showed up. My friend and I thought we would be driving with the planner of the trip to the Airbnb we were renting upstate, but we found out 3 days before the trip that we had to arrange our own transportation! I was grateful that OurBus could take us there and back for $70, but my friend was understandably upset. If she had canceled after finding that out, she could've found herself at the center of an AITA situation much like this one. 

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  • The woman in this story thought that her international vacation was only going to be attended by her friends, but when one of her friends invited extra people without asking her, she was not going to just accept that. If her vacation was going to be ruined, she'd rather not go on it. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10436180736
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02

    AITA cancelling on an international trip because my friends added extra people travel group?

    So I was planning a trip to Japan and South Korea next May with three good friends that I had known since high school (we are all 26). I had bought the flight tickets already as did my friends and we were in planning mode.
    via u/aliarai
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    TKNE-25 ETKT ON FLIGHT OS 76 DATE/TIME 28APRA BOARDING AT 0705 106 14-E GTV CLASS M PASSPORT FQ
    via Global Residence Index

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 04
    One friend said one friend would be joining us for a few activities (who I don't know) because he would be in japan around the same time. Ok cool, he has his own itinerary so I wasn't too worried about that.
    via u/aliarai
  • 05
    Then yesterday I learn that three other friends of two of my friends are suddenly being added because they wanted to come along, they are buying their plane tickets soon, and they will be with us the whole time. I know none of these people. And I literally had thought it would just be 4 of us.
    via u/aliarai
  • 06
    I got really annoyed by this and told them that it will be challenging to travel as a group of 7 (and sometimes 8 with the other guy) and I frankly do not feel very comfortable travelling with 3 strangers to a faraway country and sharing rooms. They said it won't be a problem, they're very chill and we can even book different rooms and I can share with the friends that I know.
    via u/aliarai
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    LUCCHESE
    via Lesli Whitecotton

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 08
    I still didn't feel comfortable. I don't know them. I don't know how they travel. I don't know if they are problematic to travel with. And it is kind of a logistical nightmare to plan a trip consisting of 7-8 people. The group call we had yesterday to plan was incredibly annoying because there were soo many people putting in their two cents and opinions and at that point I had had enough.
    via u/aliarai
  • 09
    Today I got a refund for my plane ticket and told them that respectfully, I would be bowing out of this trip but I hope they have fun. My friends got really surprised and also upset. I just don't want to spend thousands of dollars on a trip that will be either a headache or potentially filled with drama. AITA?
    via u/aliarai
  • 10
    frauleinsteve NTA. Trust your instincts. continue saving up your money and have another trip down the road....hopefully one that is fabulous and amazing.
    via u/frauleinsteve
  • 11
    RavishingFlirtXO saving up for a trip that truly feels worth it will make it even more special
    via u/RavishingFlirtXO
  • 12
    GlitterHeartz_ You're not the a h le. It's your trip and you should be able to enjoy it without strangers. They're being selfish by adding people without asking. You're not obligated to go on a trip with people you don't know. They're being inconsiderate. You did the right thing by bowing out. You're not the a_h_le. They are. You're better off having a trip with your close friends. Go have a great trip!
    via u/GlitterHeartz_
  • 13
    leidomi ΝΤΑ It's quite ride to just add people to a trip without asking and checking that everyone in the original plan is ok with it first. You're perfectly valid for not feeling comfortable to travel with strangers.
    via u/leidomi
  • 14
    StacyFSZ Imaoo yeah i get why you'd dip, thats a lot of extra people to handle and not knowing them just adds to the stress, especially for a big trip like that, better to bow out than deal with unnecessary drama
    via u/StacyFSZ
  • 15
    CB4life Yep, and it sounds like from the call everyone has different ideas about what to do, which likely means they have different goals and are all different types of travelers. If they are using public transport that group size isn't terrible, but they can't all take a normal taxi together at that size, if they rent a car it has to be much larger, more rooms to book, etc. If someone isn't primarily
    via u/CB4life
  • 16
    taking over planning and ensuring the logistics are covered that sounds like a nightmare. I like to have some things planned out, with some things figured out as we're traveling based on how everyone is feeling. If I was in a group of strangers who had to decide every little thing I would hate it. I don't blame OP for backing out.
    via u/CB4life
  • 17
    TheKingOfThe Jungle- • 13h ago I wouldn't feel SAFE either!
    via u/TheKingOfTheJungle
  • 18
    TheKingOfTheJungle- And stranded in a foreign country too!
    via u/TheKingOfTheJungle
  • 19
    Strange_Jackfruit_89 NTA. I'm not a big fan of group trips anyway. I'd absolutely not be okay with that many extra people being added. Especially without the consent of the original group. What if these people are a pain to travel with? They could be big complainers, messy, unhygienic or etc.
    via u/Strange_Jackfruit_89
  • 20
    Not to mention what if they wanted to do different activities than what you already had planned? Is everyone going to do their own thing? Too much instability there. I did a "group" trip once and it was horrible. The group wanted to stay together the entire time but bc of that, we didn't actually due much. Because others didn't want to walk too much or wait in line, etc. so basically I paid for a trip where I didn't do anything bc of everyone else. In hindsight, I should have just gone and done
    via u/Strange_Jackfruit_89
  • 21
    MintOtter The group wanted to stay together the entire time That happened to me. We were like a giant blood- clot.
    via u/MintOtter
  • 22
    RescuesStrayKittens I had a trip with a friend and he was trying to bring a couple other people. More people complicate things. How do we split things? You want your other friend in the rental car we were splitting 2 ways? No, that's too many people and what are the chances all three people will want to go to the same place at the same time? Then his friend isn't chipping in for the car, he just thought I would be driving him everywhere like a free taxi. Not happening. I didn't even like the guy
    via u/RescuesStrayKittens
  • 23
    Opposite Jeweler_953 I've traveled with my family, 7 adults and 2 kids. Everything is more difficult. Take dinner reservations... just agreeing on a place is difficult, then getting a big table. With so many people you don't know it could be a disaster. Good call OP, definitely not the AH.
    via u/Opposite_Jeweler_953
  • 24
    Wise_woman_1 NTA. You expressed your discomfort and it was dismissed. Traveling with others is a challenge while it may have been fine, with people going their own ways for meals and tours, then meeting up here and there, if you have 7 people trying to agree on a time and place for a meal or someone is going to be upset because you really have your heart set on seeing one place and don't get to because of unexpected delays caused by others it s ks. Maybe look at solo tours. I have planned severa
    via u/Wise_woman_1
  • 25
    Innajam3605 This. The key to traveling with others is to book it the way you want and others can join or not. Just do you and don't rely on the others. This is the I only way you'll enjoy yourself and if someone gets upset about it, that's on them.
    via u/Innajam3605
  • 26
    Californialslander There's a BIG difference between a group of 4 and a group of 8. I would have done the same thing.
    via u/Californialslander

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