Controlling European roommate tells roommate not to use the oven because the electricity costs too much despite the electricity costing €20.37 a month split between 3 people: 'I was using the oven for exactly 10 minutes'

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Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 6, 2024 8:00 PM EST

Sometimes, the controlling roommate is right. I really don't like telling my roommates what to do or vice versa, but if the monthly AC bill is $400 for a small apartment, that's worth discussing. Regarding bills, chores, and the general atmosphere, it's the responsibility of all roommates to contribute positively instead of taking advantage of the people they sleep under the same roof as. 

For every roommate who has a measured, essential, serious talk with their roommates about a serious matter, five more will micromanage the living daylights out of everyone around them. It's one thing to be told to do the dishes, but it's annoying to make sure your roommate fills up the dishwasher the exact way your mom taught you how to do it as a little girl because any other way would be inadequate and horrible. The roommate in this story is one of those roommates.

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    via Joel Drzycimski

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA My roommate asked me not to use the oven
    via Igethisnow
  • 03
    I am currently living in Spain with two other girls, one Spanish and the other Ecuadorian (I am only using their nationalities as a way to distinguish them). Anyway, the Spanish roommate has been nit picky since we first moved in, but I decided to give her the benefit of the doubt. For example, she started a cleaning schedule, to which I have not problem with, but then sent a passive aggressive text to our group chat about how the kitchen wasn't cleaned correctly even though my other roommate ha
    via Igethisnow
  • 04
    Anyway, tonight, I was using the oven for exactly 10 minutes to cook veggie chicken patties and she comes to my room telling me that the oven uses a lot of electricity and not to use it for small things... This felt like my last straw but I have to live with her. BTW I said i'd pay extra if the monthly bill is outrageous. (I have several ways of comparing the prices and many friends who live in the city who also have roommates) I will continue to use the oven whenever I want but pay for it if ne
    via Igethisnow
  • 05
    EDIT: We moved in November 1, we have not gotten the utility bill(s); we're just roommates, she is not the landlord; I have used the oven 4 times for no longer than 20 min each time; I do use a hot water bottle for heat every night using boiled water because bc we don't use the heat often (2x only, each time at her suggestion);
    via Igethisnow
  • 06
    I move out in April 2025 so buying an air fryer doesn't make sense's UPDATE: Asked my landlord for Novembers bill this morning (I used the oven 2x in November for apprx 17 min) and the bill was €20.37- €6.79/person. LOL
    via Igethisnow
  • 07
    Irish_Whiskey NTA. and she comes to my room telling me that the oven uses a lot of electricity and not to use it for small things Does she have any actual power? Are you subleasing from her, does she own the place, etc?
    via Irish_Whiskey
  • 08
    Because if not, she's just going to continue bossing you around until explain simply "You are not my boss, my parent, or landlord. I have the right to use these things I paid for, you have no say otherwise. Leave me alone."
    via Irish_Whiskey
  • 09
    Igethisnow OP No! She is just my roommate. I am trying to be civil because we have to live together but that was too much for me. You're right though, I am too grown to be made small and I will tell her (nicely) to off.
    via Igethisnow
  • 10
    SteveJobsPenis • 21h ago • Way back when I house shared, I had a housemate who refused to let me get another fridge because of the electricity. So I just said I'd cover more of the bill, compare it to the last one and pay the extra. It was insignificant. The hilarious thing was he kept complaining about it, so got energy metres and put them on my fridge and his. Turned his his old fridge used five times the energy mine did and once faced with this was told to get a new fridge or pay more of the
    via SteveJobsPenis
  • 11
    He refused to hand over more money, so bought another fridge and our bill went down to below what it was when we had just his fridge. I also put locks on my fridge as I learned his main objection was not being able to eat as much of my food as he could without me noticing.
    via SteveJobsPenis
  • 12
    JWaltniz Yep. I've had roommates like this before. The fact is, if you're going to be that nitpicky about dust, cooking smells, power usage, etc., you simply have to live alone. Not liking or agreeing with every single thing your roommate does is part of having a roommate.
    via JWaltniz
  • 13
    moleman92107 "Fellas are you an a hole if you (checks notes) cook food at your own home?" NTA, I know energy prices are a little higher in Europe but you still have to eat lol
    via moleman92107
  • 14
    SabrinaClean It's OP apartment too, and using the oven for 10 minutes is completely fine. If she wants to micromanage every little thing, that's her problem, not OP NTA.
    via SabrinaClean
  • 15
    jenguinaf So my in-laws are from Europe but have lived in the US for over 40 years at this point. The oven, legit, was not allowed to be used in their house. I think she allowed it a few times a year on holidays when a lot of baking was going on but what was it. Say you wanted to use the oven to make garlic bread for dinner it was an absolute no and you were treated insane for wanting to turn the oven on just for that. It was always kinda wild to me but his mom has her quirks and that's one of t
    via jenguinaf
  • 16
    MrsNobodyspecial67 NTA. She can not expect you not to eat. You have helped by offering to pay the overage. It will be hard to compare since she has no idea the cost to heat up food.. But still you did nothing wrong.
    via MrsNobodyspecial67
  • 17
    CowNo6152 Do they not use the oven? This person is on a weird power trip. It's not expensive to use an oven and you used it for a perfectly legitimate reason.
    via CowNo6152
  • 18
    No_Appointment_7232 You will meet many more of these folks. They think they're way is The Best Way, always and will do exactly what you're roommate is doing. A script could be, "I understand you're managing your finances and using less power is a thing for you. But I don't believe in not living fully in and using all the appliances in the apartment for their assigned tasks. I will us the ove to heat small things from time to time. You do it your way I will do it mine."
    via No_Appointment_7232
  • 19
    They are micromangers of EVERYTHING. Script re stove." It's unfortunate the cleaning towel leaves debris. However, roommate B did a fine and thorough job cleaning the kitchen. You don't get to criticize that. If you want it cleaner that is on you. Please do not send a text like this again. It poor rooming together skills and helps nothing."
    via No_Appointment_7232
  • 20
    And good old "No, I'm not going to do that." I don't know what your budget is like or costs in Spain but a toaster oven can be an inexpensive and more effective way to heat smaller things.
    via No_Appointment_7232
  • 21
    ExpatriadaUE NTA. It's true that in Spain some people have an obsession about how expensive it is to use the oven and your roommate's family was probably like this and that's what she has heard her whole life. Would it be possible for the three of you to buy an air fryer for the appartment so that you don't have to use the oven for small things?
    via ExpatriadaUE
  • 22
    ftjlster I'd say as well, potentially OP's roommate was reacting to how the oven was in use but all OP was cooking in it was say, 2 veggie patties (I mean, theoretically OP was cooking more than that, but its unlikely to have been an entire tray or two of them). Regardless of the actual cost, it might have felt like a waste of resources to OP's roommate when it could have been done on the stove top (etc). I'd also say, in the gentlest way, that if the cleaning cloth leaves debris behind, that's
    via ftjlster
  • 23
    pernicious_penguin Some Spanish people are super freaked out by electricity use as the prices have gone up so much in the last few years. That's not to say you shouldn't use it, but I'm not totally surprised by that reaction. Many people I know here take cold and very quick showers for the same reason. Source, living in Spain with several friends like this....
    via pernicious_penguin
  • 24
    sues-zzzz-que No, especially because you are offering to pay extra. Has anyone tried talking to her?
    via sues-zzzz-que
  • 25
    Igethisnow OP We've lived together for a month so no, we're still in the beginning phase of. However, If she makes this a problem again, I'll have no choice but to say something.
    via Igethisnow

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cost cooking roommate finance bad roommates controlling Spain reddit story psycho roommate finances electricity reddit thread Reddit roommates oven
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