24-year-old man finds his roommate of 2 years sleeping under his bed, roommate claims he's been doing it for 3-4 months to get closer to him: 'He was doing it to psychically saturate each other'

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    AITA for being angry that my roommate sleeping under my bed for months without telling me? was
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    I (24M) have lived with my roommate Karl (24M) for 2 years. A few months into rooming with him he told me he was a pansexual. I said ok, cool. I am not interested in that personal information, nor am I judgmental. I said alright.
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    A few times over the last year he has asked me if I had ever considered "experimenting" with other men. I said nope. Also I said I didn't feel comfortable with him asking me such a personal question. It's not like we are close friends, we are only roommates by happenstance basically. Anyway every time I said this he basically said "we'll see." I was like, what?
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    Anyways last night I had a horrifying experience. I heard a noise under my bed. It was movement. At first I thought I was imagining things. But then I heard it again. I thought, oh god, is it a mouse or a rat or some sh? My god. This was like 3:00 AM. So I got out of bed and looked under with my phone flashlight.
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    Now this here was the most startling moment of my life. I guess I am lucky because I have never before this moment felt true terror and fear as a physical sensation, but I was completely jolted. There under my bed was my roommate staring wide eyed at me, and he SCREECHED when I looked under the bed. I literally thought I was having a heart attack.
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    I then just started hearing "sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry", my roommate crawled out from under the bed crying apologizing over and over. I was so creeped out and afraid that I ran out of the apartment in my pajamas.
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    There was a dunkin donut that was open 24/7 a few blocks away so I just sat in there with a decaf and a breakfast sandwich with my heart thundering away. My roommate kept texting me asking to talk. I ignored it. In the texts he found a way to horrify me even further. He confessed he had been sleeping under my bed a few nights a week for "three or four months" and that he was doing it to get closer to me and "psychically saturate each other". The f ???
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    I waited for him to go to work and I ran into the apartment, got my essentials, and left. I am currently crashing with a buddy. Our lease is up in 1 month, my intention is simply to not renew. This dude is blowing up my phone. And I am getting texts from other people, some friends of mine and some bozos who are friends with him. He is going around telling people I shamed him and that I am rejecting his apologies.
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    Some people are claiming I am overreacting and invalidating his feelings. Most people agree he was improper but think I should work it out with him and give a second chance because he's "sensitive". I feel like I am losing my mind and I am seriously 20% convinced I am experiencing a long lucid dream of some sort and wondering if I am going to wake up or I am in a coma or something because this sh is so insane to me. Like not really, but maybe really...I mean what the f ??? So AITA or is everyone
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    WinEquivalent4069 • 11h ago • Yes, you did shame him. Yes, you rejected his apologies. Why? Cause he crossed so many boundaries of common decency, privacy and basic human respect. This is the behavior a predator, a stalker would do. Whatever trust you had with Karl has been broken, shattered into a 1000 pieces. NTA.
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    MrJackdaw ⚫9h ago ⚫ Actually - this post would make an excellent part of an reply. "Yes, I did shame him. Yes, I rejected his apologies. Why? Because he crossed so many boundaries of common decency, privacy, and basic human respect. This is the behaviour of a predator, actions a stalker would take. Whatever trust I had with Karl has been broken.
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    If your pity is with him, imagine how you would feel if someone was secretly sleeping under your bad for the past three months? And was he only sleeping under there? Given how far he went what other actions may he have committed? Trust is broken - and he needs to think about his actions, so I will not apologise." NTA.
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    Hungover52 Definitely don't want to shine a black-light under that bed.
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    AdditionalSky6030 He did more than cross boundaries, he violated them.
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    Ser_Sunday Dude is not mentally stable and you need to get out of there. Sounds like he'd end up wearing your skin or some sh to "physically saturate" with you
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    13surgeries Why would ANYONE say you should work it out with someone who was hiding under your bed every night?
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    InfernalKitty My guess is those are the rommate's friends who only heard his version of the story, which the roommate would have conveniently kept vague. I imagine he just said he was rejected by OP and omitted the minor detail that he was found sleeping under OP's bed and had been doing so for months.
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    Bojack TrashMan • 5h ago • I'm a girl and I typically don't like saying "flip the genders" because usually it is said from a place of ignorance that doesn't take into account the full context of what something would be like in another person's shoes But in this particular case we don't have to flip both genders. I think it might be helpful to illustrate how most people would feel if they realized a man had been sleeping underneath a woman's bed unbeknownst to her for months.
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    Immediately everybody would be aware of exactly how predatory it is. Many of us have been conditioned to think that men can "defend themselves" or subconsciously believe that men are less likely to be sexually assaulted. And while statistically they might be a little bit less likely than women to be sexually assaulted, the numbers are still horrifying. It's a lot of men getting assaulted, usually by other men.
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    There's nothing benign or acceptable about sleeping underneath somebody's bed for months. How long does somebody have to lie and wait to be able to get there without you noticing? I'm assuming this means that they are in your bedroom while you are changing clothes without your consent, because you're getting ready for bed and getting into bed without knowing they are there. This isn't "like" stalking. It is stalking.
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    Unfortunately the way it goes with most cases like this is that if you go to law enforcement there's nothing for them to do because the laws are written in such a way that they can only do something once you've already been hurt. Despite that I would report it anyway. It's good to have a record especially because you will probably want a restraining order if this person does not immediately leave you alone.
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    It might not be worth it because there's only a month left on the lease but in cases where assault or harassment are concerned many states have a clause where landlords absolutely have to let you out of the lease and think cannot charge you for it. The police report is proof that it's happening and it might be worth taking that info to the landlord & getting tf out.
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    Any friends need a quick explainer about how they would feel if they discovered a man was sleeping under their bed for months. If they can't or won't get it they do not deserve to be friends with you OP, because they are not safe people. These are people who will watch you get hurt and not give a .RUN. Finally I don't know if this housing is related to a school or any sort of student housing or if it is in the US but this could fall under Title IX so if it's on campus it's worth reporting it to
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    sweetheart598 Yikes, that's absolutely terrifying! Your roommate sneaking under your bed is not just weird; it's a major violation of your space. It's baffling that anyone would think you should give him another chance just because he's "sensitive." They clearly don't understand how creepy and unsettling this whole thing is. You absolutely did the right thing by getting out your safety comes first!
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    I_love_Juneau But what did the roommate actually tell his friends? They can't possibly know the truth AND ask OP to let it go, he's "sensitive". I don't give a flying fig if he's sensitive. His behavior is disturbing, invasive and F'd up. Also makes me wonder if rm goes in to OP's room when OP isn't in apt? Ugh.
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    ThePterodactylGhost ⚫5h ago ⚫Edited 5h ago • Dude is LITERALLY the monster under the bed. Both in that this is something a stalker or psycho would do and that bro was literally acting like the monster under the bed or hiding in the closet from a Scooby Doo episode. "Like, better check under the bed Scoob. Just in case" "R'okay!" "Zoinks, its him! Come on Scoob!"
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    rockabillytendencies Report this. This could have turned fatal. Some of us are armed and would have absolutely taken immediate action against an INTRUDER because that's what he was-under someone else's bed in someone else's bedroom. This under bed person sounds ill - which could be dangerous to you or him if caught by someone armed with a firearm or enough fear to hurt him for doing weird sh like that.

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