Woman Handles Ex-Boyfriend’s Request for Closure with Brutal Honesty, Leaves Him Stunned and Finally Reclaims Her Confidence

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    • r/AITAH 1 day ago arepa30001 AITAH for telling my ex some hard truths during our "closure" chat?
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    So, a little background: I (33F) dated this guy (41M) for three years, but we broke up almost four years ago because I was just unhappy. Our goals didn't line up anymore, and he kept trying to change me. He didn't like how
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    I dressed, my hair, or my friends (especially my LGBTQ+ crew) and even made comments about my weight. I was new in town and lonely, so I brushed off a lot of red flags, but his controlling behavior really wore me down.
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    When I finally left, I started therapy to deal with my baggage and the mess he left me with. Therapy has honestly been a game changer. Recently, out of the blue, he hit me up and wanted to meet up to
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    "clear the air." I was hesitant but decided to go after talking it over with my therapist. I picked a café away from my place and work for the meetup. When I got there, he was already sitting down. The first thing he
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    said was, "You look great, you've lost weight. I wish you looked like this when we first met.” He even mentioned I hadn't aged! I told him I looked fine back then, but honestly, this version of me wouldn't have dated him in the first place because he wasn't my type.
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    He then said he wanted to know why I left so "abruptly." I asked if he was seeing anyone, and he said yes, he's been with a Ukrainian woman for two years (which I already knew from friends). When I asked if she knew we were meeting, he said no.
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    At that point, I just decided to be completely honest. I told him I left because I didn't trust him and that he was really self centered. I felt like I was never a priority for him. I even told him he wasn't great in bed and that I
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    stayed too long because I confused routine with love while feeling terrible about myself. I said I used to be a happy, confident person, and during our time together, I felt like I was fading away.
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    He flipped out, ranting about how I was a terrible partner and then dropped a huge bombshell that he cheated on me twice. I think he expected me to be upset, but I stayed calm and told him, "You cheated by paying for it, so I'm not even sure that
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    counts. Honestly, I already knew, and by the time I found out, I was halfway out anyway. I just felt bad for you because I saw how hard you were trying to find dates on those apps. Pathetic." He looked completely stunned. I
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    told him he should focus on his current girlfriend and that this meeting was my one courtesy for closure. I said he could keep whatever story made him feel better and then I just left.
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    Now I'm wondering if I went too far. Part of me thinks he deserved to hear the truth, but another part wonders if I could've been a bit nicer about it. AITAH?
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    EveEmber • 2d ago. NTA. He asked for closure, and you gave him the whole book, hardcover edition! Sometimes the truth hurts, but it sounds like he needed to hear it to hopefully grow from it. Good on you for handling it with such composure!
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    Complex-Intern-6839 • 2d ago • What kind of talk do you need after 4 years? Was it to feel better about yourself? Because talking all that crap, shows you haven't really healed completely. Still feeling the need to throw things in his face.
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    dreamyrosehazee • 1d ago NTA. Closure chats are supposed to bring clarity, not serve as a stage for him to air outdated insults or self-pity. He wanted answers, and you gave him the unvarnished truth and honestly, he deserved every word. That 'you've lost weight' comment right out the gate? Instant
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    disqualification from sympathy. Also, the audacity to cheat and show up to a closure meeting without telling his current girlfriend? Pure clownery. You handled it like a pro and got your closure on your terms. Respect.
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    pinkpearlqueen • 1d ago • You were completely within your right to be candid, especially after everything he put you through. If he couldn't handle the reality of what he did, that's his problem. It sounds like you've done a lot of work on yourself, and sometimes giving someone the hard truths is part of that healing process.
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    AlwaysHelpful22 • 2d ago • Top 1% Commenter If your goal was to hurt him, then you chose your words well. Seems rather unnecessary to me, but hurting people who hurt you seems to be a common theme on Reddit.
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