Husband hogs TV and living space while wife entertains weekend guest, wife calls him self-centered: 'I truly attempted to give my perspective without being hostile but he still got mad'

Author image for Baiz Hoen
Baiz Hoen
Dec 11, 2024 1:00 PM EST

We've all had moments in our family when we've had to fight over the TV remote. Your favorite show is about to come on but your brother insists that he can't miss one second of his WWE Smackdown fight or else he'll crash out. When everyone else has settled on Step Brothers, your mom wants to watch Casablanca for movie night. Dad can't be interrupted during the Big Game. Sister must watch Timmy Chalamet on SNL or else she'll scream (although she'll probably scream when she's watching anyway). You know how it goes. Still, as a family unit, there is a balance to maintain with the television, and most families understand that when equilibrium is achieved, there is harmony in the household. It's how most siblings learn how to share in modern times, and it's where today's family unit can experience true togetherness in an otherwise unbalanced and hostile world.

Unfortunately, when a household member's TV usage goes unchecked, it can develop into a power trip nothing short of dictatorship. A woman who posted on Reddit experienced this firsthand when her husband hogged the television all weekend, even prohibiting a houseguest from watching something when he left to run errands all day.

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    AITA for calling my husband self centered for controlling the family room tv? My husband likes to sit in our family room and watch football, sport shows, etc. We have an open floor plan home where the kitchen & family room are merged and our large screen tv is in the central hub of the house on the first floor.
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    My husband spent most of the weekend watching games while I was out & about with our houseguest. About 9pm Sunday night, I found myself alone in the family room & sat down to watch a show after clearing dishes, etc. Apparently my husband had gone upstairs to take a shower. Upon returning to the family room he asked if I was "kicking him out". I said no, I was just watching tv. He said he'd go to our bedroom to watch his show. I detected a bit of irritation in his voice but I ignored it.
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    This morning I came downstairs to make breakfast; my husband was leaving to run an errand. While I went upstairs he told our guest not to turn off the tv or change the channel because he was watching a show and wanted to rewind what he missed while out. So our guest and I didn't touch the tv while drinking our coffee & having breakfast.
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    When my husband returned an hour later, I mentioned privately that I didn't change the channel but I thought it was a bit much of him to ask that we not considering he wasn't even home to use the tv and it's an ESPN show which will obviously run again today. He got angry and said I was trying to make him feel ; that it wasn't a big like a j request.
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    I pointed out that it's a shared living space, that he tends to commandeer it, and he'd used it all weekend without interruption as I was gone & our DD was on her tablet or in our room. It felt a bit unfair. I told him that it seemed self centered and a bit entitled. I truly attempted to give my perspective without being hostile but he still got mad even though I had complied with his request & hadn't changed channel. AITA?
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    Reasons why I could be the *sshole: There is a tv in our bedroom & guest room. Our houseguest and/or I could've gone to those areas to drink our coffee & watch a bit of morning news before work. I may be childish for arguing over a tv at all.
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    Perfect_Ring3489 • 1d ago • Nta thats controlling behaviour. He sounds territorial and its r de to talk to a guest like that. Hed want a reality check. Its a family room which means everyone uses it. 68 ○ Reply + More replies
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    mizfit416 . 1d ago. So let me try and understand this. He LEFT and said you couldn't use the unused TV in the family room? That's a little selfish on his part. NTA
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    TallLoss2 • 1d ago • NTA there's actually a really great article about women hating open concept homes because it means they have to just watch their useless husbands sit on their all day. I wish I could find the article, but oh well! Yeah it seems like your husband thinks he's like the captain of the Living Room Media Center but is really just being lowkey ride and annoying
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    rockology_adam . 1d ago. NTA although I really do wonder how you got to this point. This is obviously standard behaviour on the part of your husband, and having a houseguest over doesn't really interrupt that. If he's always got the TV on weekends prior to this, when expecting a change without talking about making the change beforehand isn't acceptable.
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    However... your husband is still the A-h e here, for the very strange reason that I do not know of any modern TV system that requires you leave the TV ON and on the actual channel to record a show. If your husband is that obsessed about watching his favourite show, he sets it up to record and then you and your guest can watch something else. That's been possible for a decade.
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    It was even possible when VCRS were a thing, since you could split your cable and have the VCR record one channel while you watch another on the actual set. So, your husband is 35 years out of date on his ability to commandeer the TV in the family room, and that's so dumb.
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    EsmeWeatherwa... . 1d ago. NTA. I'm curious what your husband would say if you asked him how the TV in the shared space was meant to be used. Does he know his rule is "I get to decide all the time, including whether it is on or off if I'm not even in the room, and no one else has a vote ever?" Or does he think he's sharing and he's just terrible at it in practice?
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  • 15
    I have the same floorplan setup as you, and in addition to the Many Sports, my spouse also likes to watch movies with graphic violence that I can't stand. He will occasionally change the channel if I tell him I cannot cook dinner while a movie with people's eyes being gouged out is playing. in a space I can't escape. Other than that, I have no access to the main rooms of our house because his stuff is always playing.
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    is always playing. I can't watch my own stuff, and unless I want to put on blinders and earbuds can't avoid his--and of course that defeats the purpose of a shared space. It's not a particularly great situation. I hope you have better luck renegotiating shared use.
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family drama aita spouse Reddit wife married life marriage-drama husband television
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