Free baby formula fractures neighborly relations when entitled neighbor argues "first come, first served" wasn't honored: 'She went off on me that she was the first to comment and I picked someone else'

Author image for Brad Dickson
Brad Dickson • Managing Editor
Dec 10, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Everyone likes free stuff, and what's not to like? It's free! However, some people really like free stuff—like, really, really like free stuff—and they'll go to great lengths to ensure they get it, even fighting dirty and using tools such as guilt and anger to do so.

This is one of the reasons why it's, unfortunately, best not even to bother offering free stuff online; you're bound to be inundated with people who have too much time on their hands and are combing buy/sell pages trying to be the first to message whenever they see a deal. The reality is that they're probably not even most in need of that item and are trying to flip it for a quick profit, and they typically tend to escalate towards getting even more from you with things like trying to get you to pay for the cost of the gas for them coming to pick up the item.

The very fact that the author of this post professes to live in a well-off area tells you that the self-appointed neighborhood "Queen of Free Stuff" isn't necessarily in need of these items and is just bored and hankering for a deal and using her own made-up rules to justify her disgruntled and petulant behavior.

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    M 4 T 0
    via Firmbee.com

    Image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Image is for illustration only and subjects are models.

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    AITAH for never giving away anything to my neighbor? For context, I live in a very large upper middle class neighborhood. There are 1500 homes and we have several Facebook groups. People give stuff away all the time, sell stuff, offer services, ask for help etc. We have a very friendly and generous neighborhood.
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    About a year ago when I was 1 month postpartum I decided to give away all the formula samples we received in the mail and from the obgyn. I had about 8 small cans of various formulas and made the post. This neighbor, let's call he Sara, was the first to comment on the post. I didn't check the post but saw a Facebook message come through from a different
    via baileybailey44
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    neighbor and I responded to her first and she came and picked it up. I marked the Facebook post as claimed and Sara messaged me and was very upset. She said she was the first to comment and she waited all day for me to reach out and that she really needed this formula. I apologized and said I responded to the first person who messaged me, not commented because I just wanted it gone and didn't think it was that serious.
    via baileybailey44
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    A few months later, someone posted that they were giving away a jogging stroller. I commented on the post and so did Sara. The neighbor giving it away quickly replied to me that it was already claimed and I went about my day. Later, Sara messaged me accusing me of picking up the stroller. I told her the neighbor said it was claimed and I didn't even know where she was located. Sara said she
    via baileybailey44
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    walked a mile (like I said we live in a big neighborhood) to pick it up and it wasn't there. I told I didn't take it and to reach out to the owner. Sara kept pressing me saying she really needs it because she walks around the neighborhood everyday and I kept telling her I didn't take it. She finally left me alone after that.
    via baileybailey44
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    Fast forward to today. I had a complementary museum ticket given to me from my work. It expires in a few weeks and I know I won't make it there so I put it in our Facebook page for free. Sara was the first to comment followed by a few other people interested. My friend texted me that she saw the post and wanted it so I gave it to her. I deleted the post and guess who messaged me? Sara.
    via baileybailey44
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    She went off on me that she was the first to comment and I picked someone else again. I nicely told her that a friend wanted it so I gave it to her. Entrance to the museum is probably only $15-$20. It wasn't worth that much. Plus I'd rather it go to someone I know and like. She went off on me and blocked me. Did I mention that I've never met this lady in real life?
    via baileybailey44
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    My husband said I'm the AH and I should've given it to her because she's always looking for free stuff and I've never given her anything and she was the first to comment. I disagree because like I said we live in a very generous neighborhood. I've never seen her post that she needs anything specific, she just tries to grab all the free stuff. So AITAH for giving my stuff away to other people instead of honoring the "first to comment" unspoken rule?
    via baileybailey44
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    OP has offered the following explanation for why they think they might be the a hole: I picked other people of Sara to give my items to. She was the first to comment so maybe I should've honored that.
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    7h ago Edited 5h ago • S7h • Top 5% Commenter NTA. My FB Buy Nothing Group specifically asks that we do not give to the first person who comments, because it disadvantages working people and those without constant internet access.. Just block her and be done with it.
    via baileybailey44
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    Dramatic-Jell... • 8h ago • NTA. Unless your group has a first to comment/respond rule you can give it to whomever you want.
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    k23_k23 • 8h ago NTA Text This is where you just block her.
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    Burdicus 8h ago • • Nothing in the post matters. except this: Fast forward to today. I had a complementary museum ticket given to me from my work. It expires in a few weeks and I know I won't make it there so I put it in our Facebook page for
    via baileybailey44
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    free. Sara was the first to comment followed by a few other people interested. My friend texted me that she saw the post and wanted it so I gave it to her. Very very soft YTA. It's your free ticket and yours to do with as you so please, but you basically offered it up to someone else just to retract it, and that kinda s….. ks.
    via baileybailey44
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    Worth-Season... • 8h ago NAH....In a group, usually, first person to comment gets the free item. But you did not know that she has commented before other person messaged you. As for the stroller, why does she think you got it? Ticket is where you are TA. She commented but you decided to give it to a friend instead. You should have put it out to friends before posting online.
    via baileybailey44
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    That being said, what does she do? Sit by her phone. and wait for someone to post?
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    pottersquash ⚫ 9h ago ESH. Please just block Sara.
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    . Arya Stark1313 • 8h ago Yet another post today about entitled AHS expecting free stuff! NTA. What is wrong with your husband? Tell him he can give his sh away if he wants.
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    hjo1210 • 7h ago. I think she wants all the free stuff so she can turn around and sell it for a profit.
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    • QuirkySyrup5... 7h ago We have a lady who requested to be an admin so she could get the free stuff first... On top of it she (almost weekly) requests stuff. The whole page has become Sue HG's craft project need bonanza. NTA
    via baileybailey44

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hoa neighbors neighborhood homeowner neighborhood-drama bad neighbors neighborhood-stories terrible neighbors parenting new parents Bad Neighbor entitled people neighbor choosing beggar
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