Wife gives newborn twins true crime-related names, husband doesn't make the connection until it's too late: 'I don't know what your wife is thinking'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 15, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Choosing a baby name is no easy task. You want to strike the right balance of pleasing, interesting, and most of all, respecting your child and their future endeavors in the working world. I'm all for off-beat names, but you can only go so far before you're making life hard for your kid down the line. Remember when Gwyneth Paltrow named her daughter "Apple" and everyone freaked out? Boy, how far we have come as a culture since then. Now Apple seems like a comparatively normal name compared to some of the celebrity kid names floating around nowadays.

But what about a name that doesn't sound strange at first blush, but becomes strange once you know the intention behind it? That's what happened in this situation, when everyone including the father was in the dark about the names of newborn twins. Read on for the story, and see what you think about her name choice. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10441512192
    via Jelleke Vanooteghem

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story

  • 02
    AITA for my reaction to my wife giving our twin sons true crime-related names? My wife has a slightly irritating true crime hobby. It's one of those hobbies we keep separate from our relationship. For the most part, she's normal about it and knows when to bring it up. I'm only reminded of it when she's around another "aficionado."
    via u/SpokaneIll
  • 03
    We had twins earlier this year. There were some negotiations about the names. I know at the end of the day, she's the one doing the hard work and has the final say, but she was inclined to eccentric, potentially life-ruining names that I had to talk her out of.
    via u/SpokaneIll
  • 04
    One day she came to me with two surprisingly ordinary names. And named separately, no one would bat an eye at either one. In fact, no one batted an eye until recently. We were visiting family and she was showing off the kids when my sister-in-law (brother's wife) took me aside and said "Are you serious? You named your twins after *them?*" I had no idea, I hadn't made the connection until that moment.
    via u/SpokaneIll
  • 05
    When I got home, I confronted her and demanded we change the names. She said it was just coincidence and that maybe. subconsciously, she paired the names, but the names are common, and changing them would be a hassle and draw even more attention to it in the first
    via u/SpokaneIll
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    place. I said we can simply explain we hadn't made the connection at the time and decided to change it as soon as we realized. After all, my sister-in-law already said something! She won't budge and I find it concerning. Am I wrong? Edit: The names are Dylan and Eric
    via u/SpokaneIll
  • 07
    . Far_Quantity_61... 15h ago NTA. Sure, Dylan and Eric are perfectly normal names, but the fact she wants to name them after the murderers makes them very weird. Why on earth would you want to honor mass shooters with your babies' names??? No way in h I would I allow this.
    via u/Far_Quantity_6133
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    Ok_Stable7501 • 14h ago • I work in education and I would be uneasy about a parent conference for parents who selected these names, not gonna lie. NTA
    via u/Ok_Stable7501
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    Kimchilover30 • 14h ago Honestly I would lose respect for my spouse if they named my children after murderers. A hobby is one thing this is real life. Not a tv show she can't separate from reality.
    via u/Kimchilover30
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    kelpieconundrum . 14h ago. I didn't make the connection and had to look to the comments. I think it's genuinely possible that lots of people won't, that your wife was really just subconsciously pairing them together, and that most people who are not true crime "aficionados"
    via u/kelpieconundrum
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    (which, personally, I find extremely ghoulish but that's a whole other thing) won't automatically connect them. There have been a lot of school shootings in the meantime, after all But. People who know your wife's interest might squint at it (case in point) and more importantly—the names are
    via u/kelpieconundrum
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    tainted now. Even if they were innocently chosen, everytime you pair them you'll be thinking about a massacre. It's odd that your wife doesn't mind the association, and it's unfair to your kids. Change at least one of their names, and better both.
    via u/kelpieconundrum
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    . Mauinfinity-0805 15h ago. Changing Eric to Derek would be an easy solution.
    via u/Mauinfinity-0805
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    reluctantseahorse • 14h ago • I almost don't believe you. Like, my brain can't comprehend than anyone would do such a stupid thing. I read a story here some years ago about a woman naming her kid Charles Manson, and really thought nobody would make the connection. What?
    via u/reluctantseahorse
  • 15
    This isn't AITA territory. I'd say this is just about as sick as you can get when naming your kids. If this is real, you need to change their names asap.
    via u/reluctantseahorse
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    This isn't just a "true crime" fandom thing. If you are blissfully unaware, I caution. you to learn their biographies. They destroyed their families. Might as well name your kids Cain and Abel.
    via u/reluctantseahorse
  • 17
    ifuckinhatereddi... 15h ago. • NTA and you should be worried. Even if the names themselves aren't the biggest issue the fact that she would name your kids after school shooters kind of speaks to the influences they'll be exposed to and their expectations in life. If the genders were switched it would give INSANE red flags
    via u/ifuckinhatereddit420
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    JustATraveler676 · 14h ago NTA. that is disgusting, it is concerning, and you are under reacting.
    via u/JustATraveler676
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    I mean, anyone can use these names individually for their children, but sadly naming two brothers the same thing as the true event is going to carry a stigma for still a couple of decades, and moreover naming your children that way implies that she admires the perpetrators, and by association also what they did(!).
    via u/JustATraveler676
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    Also: "she's the one doing the hard work and has the final say" No, I don't think so. That would be true for all matters regarding her own body, but if you are planning to be an involved father carrying the 50% of all parent duties, I don't agree this holds true with the names, and therefore the lives of your children.
    via u/JustATraveler676
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    Strange_Tidings... . 14h ago • For what it's worth, I recognized the names immediately, but I'm the right age for it. Younger people are unlikely to recognize the names.
    via u/Strange_Tidings36
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    evilseductress • 14h ago The fact that these names are "surprisingly normal" compared to her previous suggestions makes me think she definitely knew what she was doing. NTA, and I'm actually worried for you and your children.
    via u/evilseductress
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    sirafidahtu ⚫ 14h ago . My guy, I live on the other side of the world from you, and I immediately made the connection. NTA and I don't know what your wife is thinking.
    via u/sirafidahtu

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funny names long term relationship aita baby baby names pregnancy pregnancy announcement kids relationship-drama relationships couples names baby name pregnant Reddit naming nicknames true crime name children
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