Expecting mom refuses to attend sister's wedding after she uses her baby name for her dog: 'My whole family knows it's my name'

Author image for Ally Perry
Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 6, 2024 6:00 PM EST

If there is one lesson that expecting parents don't tend to get taught, it's that they should be careful who they choose to share their favorite baby names with. Sometimes, the most surprising of people jump on the first opportunity to use it for themselves. While in principle, there isn't anything wrong with reusing a name, it can often result in hurt feelings. The name you give your child can be a very personal thing.

Taking a name for a human baby can be hurtful enough, but it can add insult to injury when it is used for a fur-covered one. This is what one pregnant woman dealt with after her sister casually called her puppy by the name that she had publicly coveted since she was a teenager. She was not happy to be confronted about it by the expecting mom, and it quickly snowballed into a refusal to attend a wedding. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10437310976
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITAH for not attending my sister's wedding after she used my baby name for her dog?
    via firakti
  • 03
    I (29F) am married to my husband (31M), and we're currently expecting our first child after years of trying. It's been a really emotional journey- there were some fertility struggles, a miscarriage last year, and honestly, we weren't sure if we'd ever get here. But now I'm six months along with a healthy baby girl, and we're over the moon.
    via firakti
  • 04
    Ever since I was a teenager, I've had a favorite name: Lila. It's my dream name for a daughter, and I've talked about it so many times that my whole family knows it's "my" name. It has a special meaning to me-my late grandmother was named Delilah, and it's my way of honoring her. My husband loves the name too, so we decided pretty early on that this would be our baby girl's name.
    via firakti
  • 05
    Six months ago, my younger sister Emma (27F) got a golden retriever puppy. We were all excited for her—she's always been an animal lover and was thrilled to finally get her own dog. But when she introduced us to the puppy, she casually said, "This is Lila!" At first, I thought she was joking. I even laughed and said, "No way, Emma. You know that's my baby name!" But she just shrugged and said, "It's a name, not a copyright. I thought it was cute for a dog." I was honestly stunned. I didn't want
    via firakti
  • 06
    As time went on, the whole family started referring to her dog as "Lila," and it's become the default association. At my baby shower last month, I was talking to some family members about the nursery, and when I mentioned naming the baby Lila, my aunt literally laughed and said, "You're not actually naming your baby after Emma's dog, right?" I felt humiliated. I tried to brush it off, but the more I think about it, the more it hurts. I finally sat Emma down privately and told her how I was feeli
    via firakti
  • 07
    Emma rolled her eyes and said, "Oh my god, you're seriously still mad about this? It's just a dog's name. You don't own Lila." I told her that while I'm still going to name my daughter Lila, she's made it really awkward for me. She laughed and said, "Awkward for you, not for me!" Now, Emma is getting married in two weeks, and I'm supposed to be her maid of honor. But I've been feeling more and more like I can't do it. I don't want to stand up there and celebrate her when I feel like she doesn't
    via firakti
  • 08
    She lost it. She called me selfish and accused me of "ruining her big day over something as "stupid" as a name. She even told me, "You're the on making this a thing. Nobody cares except you." My parents are siding with her, saying I'm being "petty and hormonal" and need to let it go because "family is more important than a name." My husband, on the other hand, is furious. He says Emma has been dismissive and mean, and I shouldn't have to put my feelings aside just to keep the peace.
    via firakti
  • 09
    Now I feel torn. I know skipping her wedding is a huge deal, and I don't want to cause a permanent rift, but I also feel like Emma has completely dismissed my feelings and made this whole situation worse. AITAH for not attending her wedding?
    via firakti
  • 10
    chillcroc This is my parents and me- she doesn't hate you, you just don't matter.
    via chillcroc
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    Educational Gas_92 I second this, op is pregnant, so she has the perfect excuse to skip the wedding, she can just say she feels like she needs to rest. In op's place, I would call the baby Delilah, exactly like grandma's name, and I would go low contact with the sister. Emma can kick rocks and find someone else to be her maid of honor.
    via Educational_Gas_92
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    imamage_fightme In op's place, I would call the baby Delilah, exactly like grandma's name This is probably the best option at this point. Lila feels a little tainted now and OP is probably going to be stuck on it being the same name as the dog now. Going back to where it came from with Delilah might be a better option. You could still shorten it into Lila as a nickname when the baby is old enough to understand if you feel better about it then, and if not, there is a difference between the two.
    via imamage_fightme
  • 13
    gjb1 Excellent point. Especially since the dog will di long before she reaches adulthood. By then, this dog will be a distant memory for everyone involved and a ridiculous story for her to share in icebreakers for the rest of her life!
    via gjb1
  • 14
    RedSkelz42020 She can probably use it in Emma's second wedding in speech. People this inconsiderate usually end up divorced so I'd save it for then Imao
    via RedSkelz42020
  • 15
    Character_Log_5444 Yep, NTA. Name the baby Delilah. Call her Lila. Get "put on bed rest." Looks like you can't be in the wedding. Enjoy your new family! Congratulations!!!
    via Character_Log_5444
  • 16
    IAmKicky Get a pet snake, call her Emma
    via IAmKicky
  • 17
    Merely_Dreaming And if Emma gets mad, tell her this: "Oh my god, you're seriously mad about this? It's just a name. You don't own Emma." NTA.
    via Merely_Dreaming
  • 18
    fizzy_lime Yup, same! NTA OP. I second everyone recommending naming a snake/rat/roach Emma, and/or using whatever name she chooses for a future baby as a dog's name. Also I'm petty petty, so I'd tell her you were coming to the wedding, then just don't show up. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb, have a wonderful day out with hubby, enjoy yourself. When you finally decide to respond, say something like "oh, that was today? Oops! I guess hormones are really messing with my brain!", and if/when Emma
    via fizzy_lime
  • 19
    carose59 If family were more important than a name, Emma would have named her dog something else.
    via carose59
  • 20
    whatthewhat3214 Yes, this! ↑ OP, tell Emma and your parents exactly this, and for them to stop pretending Emma didn't do this intentionally, that you don't know why she chose to be malicious but she absolutely knew what she was doing, bc everyone knows you've been wanting to name your daughter, who's now on the way, Lila since you were a child. Call it what is was - outright maliciousness. Tell them Emma needs to come clean about why she stole the name for your daughter for her dog, what was she
    via whatthewhat3214
  • 21
    Once your beautiful daughter gets here, your sister's dog's name won't pull their attention. If anyone teases you over it, don't get weepy and upset, know you're in the right, stand tall and flip the script - straight-up tell them that your sister took the name she knew you were giving your daughter for her dog, and you just can't imagine why she'd do that Let your sister be the flustered one. And once your daughter is here, your parents and others will be flocking to see her, know matter what y
    via whatthewhat3214
  • 22
    HippieLizLemon Op this is it! "Is that the same name as your sister's dog?" ANSWER "Yes, this is the name that honors our grandmother that I had been hoping to use since high- school, my sister's choice to use it for her dog literally at the end of my fertility journey is a choice I accept, but will never understand." Your not being mean, name calling, just stating facts, acceptance and any reasonable person will see what's going on here. She is a huge j
    via HippieLizLemon
  • 23
    Good_Ad6336 You know what you have to do right? Get a dog and name it after sis
    via Good_Ad6336
  • 24
    beechaser77 'Nobody cares except you' Maybe. But what's she's saying is she knows you care, she knows it's hurtful and it doesn't bother her at all. I wouldn't go to the wedding and I would create a lot of distance from her.
    via beechaser77

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