Man Refuses to Take Girlfriend to Family's Wedding After Feeling Smothered By Her, Despite Knowing the Decision Will Cause Their Breakup: ‘I feel like I’m her babysitter’

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Dec 26, 2024 12:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. We all have different attachment styles, and expressions of our love. Some people are securely attached, and they have normal and healthy responses to their partner's absence. Some people are insecurely attached, becoming panicked at the thought of them being away. They can also be avoidant, feeling indifferent to their partner's absence. It's important to be aware of these attachment styles when finding a partner. If you differ in them, things can get heated between the two of you, and you may find yourself unable to empathize or understand your partner's needs. 

In this Reddit thread, the original poster (OP) is a man who is feeling smothered by his girlfriend during social events. Whenever they're out together with other people, she becomes so needy and attached, that she doesn't even let him socialize with his friends, colleagues, or family members. Everything comes to a head when he decides not to invite her to his relative's wedding. 

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  • 01
    Last night, as I was home alone, I had an epiphany, I really don't want her to come to the wedding with me. All I could think about was all my cousins and family that I haven't seen in forever and being constricted in just hanging with them. She is going to feel like a boat anchor at this once in a decade family event.
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH • 18 hr. ago Davegdb AITAH: Don't want to bring my girlfriend to a wedding
    via u/Davegdb
  • 03
    I have a family wedding coming up, the families first wedding in like 10 years, so it is a big deal for the family. When I take my girlfriend of a year plus to events, she wants me to babysit her, sit by her, expects me to introduce her to every person.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 04
    In contrast, take me to an event, I am fine, I am happy not to be introduced to anyone, if I want to talk I will go introduce myself.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 05
    Not that long ago I took her to my uncles 88th birthday party (he lives in a nursing home), I knew maybe 4 people out of 25 there. I started mingling and meeting the people, trying to understand their relationship with my uncle. On the way home, she eviscerated me, "you left me there sitting with your aunt", "you didn't introduce me to
    via u/Davegdb
  • 06
    everyone" etc. All I could think about was, how about, I don't bring you next time, its not worth all this.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 07
    As additional info, she is like a CEO type, runs an organization, getting her way on most things.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 08
    Recently, I took her to a Gala that had about 400+ people, I probably knew 100 personally (it was an event that most people did not bring their significant others because it was expensive, probably 15% did). On the way there, she gave me a lecture, don't leave her, etc. So walking in, I introduced her to everyone that I ran into on the
    via u/Davegdb
  • 09
    way to our seats, probably 10-15 people, but then I just sat at our table. I only talked to people at my table, I felt so constricted. So finally, I said, let me go talk to my friends over there and I spent about 10-15 minutes talking to people that I knew.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 10
    Additional Info, it is a cross country relationship, she happens to live near my hometown, which I visit regularly and thereby visit her. She comes out to visit me on occasion. She has met my cousins, particularly the grooms mother, whom she has become friends with so, she knows all the details about the wedding which is also in a
    via u/Davegdb
  • 11
    different state. So to go to the wedding, both of us would have to travel.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 12
    Last night, as I was home alone, I had an epiphany, I really don't want her to come to the wedding with me. All I could think about was all my cousins and family that I haven't seen in forever and being constricted in just hanging with them. She is going to feel like a boat anchor at this once in a decade family event.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 13
    Maybe I have just been an AH about this my entire life, not doing introductions properly.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 14
    Maybe I am just not just happy about other things. I flew in for a long weekend and she wanted to go out to jazz place, she made reservations (she must always have reservations wherever she goes), and while out, she got sick (probably bad food earlier), we left early and she is driving home in her brand new luxury vehicle and she pulls over quickly, opens the
    via u/Davegdb
  • 15
    door and starts vomiting. Covering the door, the cup holders, the hand holds, everything with vomit. We finally make it home and she goes to bed. I go out to her car and clean the vomit from everywhere. I get a bucket of soap and water and clean it completely, but I realize that some of
    via u/Davegdb
  • 16
    the vomit is so deep in the hand wells, that I need to take a small bit of it apart, clean it and let it dry separately. So I leave a piece out on the console to fully dry.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 17
    The next day, she is feeling better and has to go somewhere and I say, don't mind that little piece that I had to take off the door of the car. She starts complaining about how I have comprised the warranty on her car, and how I need to go put it back together this very moment, etc. I responded by saying, its not a big deal, not going
    via u/Davegdb
  • 18
    to affect your warranty, etc. She continues to shriek about this, so I get up, and spend 30 seconds putting the piece back in place. Something about the sequence just irritated me.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 19
    I just want to go to the wedding and have fun, enjoy my family, but realize that if I don't take her with me, the relationship is probably over.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 20
    Added clarification: I had no idea that this would blow up like this, most responses have some level of reality whether that is NTA, YTA, ESH, or just break up. However let me clarify a few items that I wasn't clear enough on or just omitted.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 21
    She did thank me for cleaning up the vomit. She has no problem being outgoing, I just think that she wants to turn that off at times when not working, particularly when she is with me. She is an incredible woman, don't let comments said when not in the best mood take away from that.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 22
    I don't have a problem introducing her at all, and I do it all the time, it just feels like a chore at this point. It's not really introducing the person that I am with, but I better do this or suffer the wrath later. I am also terrible with names, I don't remember most of these peoples names, my introductions go something like this, this is and
    via u/Davegdb
  • 23
    I then wait for them to say their name because I don't remember it. I was in a conversation with my friend from 50+ years about really everything and he said something to me that I never really thought about, "when is she nurturing you?"
    via u/Davegdb
  • 24
    Again, thank everyone for your sincere comments.
    via u/Davegdb
  • 25
    doug5209 18h ago NTA, but the wedding isn't really the issue. When you don't want to take your partner to important events in your lives, you're with the wrong person.
    via u/doug5209
  • 26
    Chaotic Crashy • 17h ago • ΝΤΑ It sounds like you two are not compatible. She wants to be the center of your attention and you want to enjoy your family. Not wanting to attend family events with her is a clear sign that the relationship is over.
    via u/Chaotic Crashy

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boyfriend drama relationships girlfriend babysitting wedding lol couples love family reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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