'Mom would just let her cry it out in her nursery alone': 16-year-old comforts her baby sister when she's crying while teething, mom gets angry at her for convincing the baby that she's her mom

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Dec 18, 2024 8:00 PM EST

If you pay attention to someone, they will naturally gravitate towards you more than someone who ignores them. That applies to a lot of living social animals, like dogs, but it so obviously applies to humans, too. You're going to want to hang out with the person who texts you regularly more than the guy who forgets you exist for 6 months and then invites you to a bad show his band is playing at. 

This holds true for even the youngest humans. Babies will naturally gravitate towards those who hold them, feed them, and pay attention to them. Even if their sight isn't fully developed, they can smell, feel, and identify people in their life. That's the case for the 1-year-old baby in this story. She gravitates toward her 16-year-old sister because she is the one who picks her up when she cries and comforts her while she is teething. Their mom is not pleased that the baby favors her older daughter over her. 

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    Cheezburger Image 10443682816
    via Alexander Grey

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for confusing my baby sister into believing I'm her mom?
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    I'm 16F and my dad passed away last year. Him and my mom had been divorced before that and they used to split custody and she's been remarried to my stepdad for years.
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    My baby sister turned 1 a couple of days ago and my mom is 5 months pregnant with a baby boy. I guess the problem started when my sister started teething? It was at the beginning of summer break and mom would just let her cry it out in her nursery alone and my sister is LOUD. Not only was it annoying
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    but also kind of sad because she's just a baby and going through pain alone so I used to grab her and try to soothe her. Being held and letting her chew on her fingers helped her some and I saw a TikTok of a teething baby using a cucumber and tried that too and it was like magic.
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    Anyway, I thought babies just teeth once and I was so wrong, so it became a routine of me taking care of her a lot? Mom didn't care as long as she wasn't crying, and I liked hanging out with her. It wasn't 24/7 obviously, I had a part-time job and friends but whenever I came home, she would practically leap out of
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    Mom/Stepdad's arms wanting to come to me. She also started fussing a lot whenever my mom would try to put her to sleep, like full-on baby kickboxing but she doesn't have that problem with me. She just kind of cuddles up to my chest and drifts off.
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    Anyway, I thought that was a baby being a baby, but my mom was fuming after my sister's birthday party because she wouldn't let my mom hold her in pictures or for the cake cutting and my grandma made a comment about my sister and I being Siamese twins, but I just
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    took it as we're close? Idk. My mom was fuming like I said, and she said that I'm confusing my sister into thinking I'm her mom and that I need to take a step back and stop it.
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    What am I supposed to do just ignore her whenever she cries or whenever she babbles for me? It's not like I push my mom out of the way to get to her, it's just that she'd be napping or in the bathroom or something and I don't want my sister crying her little lungs out.
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    WhyNotKaren ⚫• 8h ago Part ipant [1] NTA. Your sister prefers you over your mother because your mother has failed her as a parent. From the sounds of it, you are the only one who comforts her when she cries, shows her affection and gives her your time, and cares for her needs outside of physically. Your mother is a bad parent. Who leaves a baby to scream cry and thinks that's okay? If she wants to throw a hissy fit over the fact her teenager is more of a concerned parent than let her. Keep doing
    via u/WhyNotKaren
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    Old_Cicada_2062 OP • 8h ago • Hi! I just want to clarify that she doesn't ignore her but when she was teething, she said that there's nothing she can do for her anyway because it's something all babies go through
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    boxesofboxes • 7h ago Yes, all babies go through it. That's why we have hundreds of ways of managing it. Parents have been soothing their children through teething for as long as we've had teeth. Even if you can't stop the pain, the comfort of someone being there and paying attention to you helps. Your mother was seriously psychologically harming your sister by ignoring here.
    via u/boxesofboxes
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    Individual_Water3981 • 5h ago • There's an entire wall of teething toys at my local target so idk what the mom is talking about either. Having babies this close together and I'm assuming OP's mom is 36 and up from OP's age, I'm concerned this is a sign of PPD.
    via u/Individual_Water3981
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    JoKing917 ⚫7h ago • Part ipant [1] There are absolutely things she can do, she could have done all the things you did. Your mom is a cruel and neglectful parent. She could have cuddled your sister, given her Tylenol, let her chew on a cold washcloth, bought tethers, used frozen teethers or frozen fruit. Your mother let a baby cry alone in pain rather than put in the smallest amount of effort into helping. She's mad because she looks bad, and she should look bad because she's a bad mother.
    via u/JoKing917
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    CloudeeSkies 8h ago NTA, when I was younger my mum would lock me in my room thinking it would make me go to sleep, it didn't it traumatised me. I hate the dark and being alone and she didn't care. She neglected and abused me all throughout my childhood and only now in my teens am I realizing how horrible she really was (she calls this me 'rebelling' when I don't want her near me) please try to get out of that toxic environment like I'm trying to do, I don't know the full story but no mother shou
    via u/CloudeeSkies
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    Old Cicada_2062 OP • 8h ago · I'm so sorry you're going through that. I hope you get out of your situation and that it gets better for you!
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    Mysterious-Stock-948 Part ipant [4] • 8h ago • That's... Instead of your mother being grateful that you love your baby sister and are bonding with her/helping take care of her, she's jealous? Maybe if she was doing her job, your sister would still reach out for her/want to be around her. Absolutely NTA, OP. Way to go on being the best big sister for her!
    via u/Mysterious-Stock-948
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    Carbonation Required • 6h ago Part ipant [1] OP's mother is maybe jealous, but probably angry because she feels like it's a reflection of her poor parenting (which it is lol) and she doesn't like that.
    via u/CarbonationRequired
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    astronautmyproblem • 5h ago • Professor Emeritass [80] Yeah it definitely seems like she's more worried about how it looks, since it came to a head in front of others for photos
    via u/astronautmyproblem
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    No_Philosopher_1870 • 8h ago Part ipant [4] NTA. You bonded with your sister, where your mother didn't, or at least not as well. You're in a damned it you do, damned if you don't situation with our sister, If you take the step back that your other wants, it's very, very likely that your mother will be angry with you when your sister cries and yoou don't soothe her. With your mother is pregnant with yet another baby, you can look forward to more child care.
    via u/No_Philosopher_1870
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    Old Cicada_2062 OP • 7h ago • I love my baby sister/future baby brother but Idk it kind of makes me worried for when I leave? Because I only have 2 years of school left and then I'm aiming for a faraway college, like halfway across the country
    via u/Old_Cicada_2062
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    Hippopotasaurus-Rex • 7h ago • Part ipant [2] It's not your responsibility to worry about them like that. You need to live your life for you!!!! Take it from someone like 3 times your age who wasted a good part of their life caring for their parent (who is totally capable of doing so herself but refuses) and grandmother (same as mother, totally capable but refuses). Your mom s ks, and has been parentifing you. This is the natural consequence of that.
    via u/Hippopotasaurus-Rex
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    cherryskies7 • 6h ago • NTA Not responding to a crying baby can make the child feel like the parent is emotionally unavailable and lead to them developing an anxious attachment style which can cause issues later in life. You're helping your sister so much.
    via u/cherryskies7
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    Apprehensive Seat812 ⚫ 5h ago • NTA My 6mo olds favorite person is his 15yr old older sister. While I do everything I can to comfort him I sometime ask her to hold and entertain him especially if we've had a rough week and I need a few minutes to do a chore or shower. She does this for 20 minutes maybe once or twice a week and is still his favorite. My husband and I are just happy to see their bond. She's not expected to help and we don't ask her if she's got something else going on and can and
    via u/Apprehensive_Seat812

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Tags

Babies family drama baby teenager bad parenting daughters teething bad parents parenting family daughter mom Parenting Fail crying Parenting FAILS nursery
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