Woman cheaps out on White Elephant gift despite opting to participate in pricier gifting tier, is booted from social group when they suspect she did it to ‘trade up’

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Dec 20, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Gift exchanges are one of the most awkward events to be a part of. Especially with gifting "games" like White Elephant, you never know if the folks you're gifting and receiving gifts from have your best interest. Yeah, yeah. We know that Christmas time isn't about capitalism, but it kind of is, too. When you volunteer o be a part of a gift exchange, you're signing yourself up for criticism when there are clear guidelines, prices, and what have you to keep in mind. 

The original poster of this next story thinks that one of the members of her social group purposely opted for the pricier gifting tier so she can receive an expensive gift, despite gifting someone else a cheap hot chocolate set you can find "on clearance at Walmart". It'd be different if there were no guidelines to follow, but someone went home with a hot chocolate gift set while the woman went home wiht a brand-new Keurig. What do you think of White Elephant gift exchanges? Commenters expressed some ill-will. Scroll to read.

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    AITA for calling someone out of their white- elephant gift, that was significantly under the spending criteria?
    via Fit_Caregiver_1277
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    A social group that I'm a part of held a white- elephant gift exchange last night. Participation was by absolutely no means mandatory or even expected. The event was
    via Fit_Caregiver_1277
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    divided up between two pricing tiers; under $25 - $50 and $75 - $100. The majority of members went with the less expensive tier for obvious reasons, and there's absolutely no
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    stigmata within our circle for doing so. In fact only 9 out of our nearly forty members chose the more expensive tier, myself included.
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    Well I was picked to go 3rd and I selected a gift that was wrapped quite beautifully, thinking that was a good sign, but I was disappointed to discover the gift was a
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    hot chocolate set that certainly wouldn't have met the criteria of the lower range, let alone the one we were participating in. I could tell the others in the group felt roughly
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    the same just by the looks on their face, and my focus was directed to one woman (Jen) who was looking away, clearly embarrassed. As you might imagine, no one took my gift.
    via Fit_Caregiver_1277
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    Now I know its petty not to be happy with what you're given, but let's be honest here in saying that Jen was throwing in the sort of thing you'd find on
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    clearance at Walmart knowing full well she'd walk away with something pricey in turn. In this case, Jen wound up with brand new Keurig.
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    I discretely pulled our social group's leader aside and mentioned my concern to her. She expressed she wasn't happy with this herself and that she'd even tried
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    to tell Jen not to participate with the more expensive tier because it was well known that Jen wasn't doing great financially, but Jen had sworn up and down that it wouldn't be an issue.
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    We didn't want to disrupt events, so I was asked to put on a kind face and to avoid talking about the gift for the remainder of the evening, which I accepted as people were trying to have fun.
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    This morning I received a long winded text chain from Jen, expressing how frustrated she was that I'd demeaned her by complaining about her gift. She went on and on
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    about how nice it must be that I can simply throw my money away while others, like her, are struggling, and that her income shouldn't mean she can't have nice
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    things. Instead of fighting, I forwarded the texts to our group leader, and I've since received word that Jen would no longer be a member of our social group.
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    Now, if I'm being honest, I do genuinely feel bad because I know how happy being a member of this group made Jen. She has had a lot of setbacks in her life. I do not hate
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    her or hold any negative feelings for her at all. I simply felt she was knowingly taking advantage of the rest of us to basically trade up beyond her means. AITA?
    via Fit_Caregiver_1277
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    Trevena_Ice ⚫ 5h ago . NTA. She took advantage of the group. She wanted the more expensive group to get herself a nice gift and decided for herself that you are all to polite to point out, that she is way under the price limit. Honestly the group leader should have
    via Trevena_Ice
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    talked to her about that and made her excange the present she got with the one she brought. why is it fair that everyone should pay 75-100$ and then get a 4$ choclat gift. there is a price range for a reason. so yeah kicking her was the right thing to do
    via Trevena_Ice
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    Cracker_Bites • 5h ago • Jen has champagne taste on a beer budget. You're NTA. You dealt with it discreetly. What she did was on her. It's really disappointing to participate in these things when folks don't play right.
    via Cracker_Bites
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    Aw_Yeah_Nuh • 5h ago • . NTA. Jen deliberately entered the higher value tier gift exchange and submitted a cheaper gift because she wanted to profit from the exchange. She's unethical. She deserved to be booted from the group.
    via Aw_Yeah_Nuh
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    etreoupasetre . 4h ago. I don't understand. White elephant is a piece of junk that you have around your house that you want to get rid of. It was always interesting to see what people wanted from the junk. I've seen people fight
    via etreoupasetre
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    over a huge ceramic buffalo, a skull mug where the eyes moved, dancing Christmas trees, stuffed animals, etc. A white elephant is supposed to be fun not who gets the most expensive gift.
    via etreoupasetre
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    icecreamp is · 4h ago God I hate these types of gift exchanges. I've never participated in one that didn't make me feel gross at the end.
    via icecreamp**is

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