Man receives €200 gift card from work, wife flips out when he refuses to share it with her: 'When she used her discounts to get stuff, it was all for her, not for us'

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Ally Perry • Writer and Editor
Dec 22, 2024 4:00 PM EST

One of the most common sources of arguments among married couples is how they should share their resources. If marriage is a partnership, then it makes sense that you should communicate clearly about what you exchange with each other. However, it is common for this not to be as clear-cut as it should be, leading to arguments and disagreements on many different levels.

This includes things as personal as gifts, as one husband recently found out. He received a bonus in the form of a gift card at work, and his wife was already planning on how to spend it when he informed her he only wanted to use it on himself. He reasoned that as she didn't let him use the brand discounts she got at her job, this was fair. It was up to the internet to decide whether that was truly the case when it came to this partnership.

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    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to share my Xmas gift from work
    via Biscuit_Overlord
  • 03
    For context: both my wife (43f) and I (42m) started new jobs this year. My job has better conditions in general, but I also pay for almost our expenses: rent, food, bills, etc, as she's working part time. One of the benefits she gets is discounts for many brand products from different shops, so she's been able to get herself some nice things. When I asked if I could get sth I was looking for with her discount she said she didn't feel comfortable doing that, alright fine.
    via Biscuit_Overlord
  • 04
    Well, last week my company gave me a gift card with 200€, and when she found out she started planning on how to spend the money without even asking me. I simply told her I didn't know what I was going to use the money for as I have until the end of June 2025 to use it, but that I didn't want to spend it on stuff for the house as I want it to go towards something I want. Now she's mad at me saying I'm being selfish, but I honestly don't think I am.
    via Biscui_Overlord
  • 05
    For context, when she used her discounts to get stuff, it was all for her, not for us, so I don't see why me doing the same would make me the bad guy here.
    via Biscuit_Overlord

    It does seem like there seems to be a sense of entitlement here. What is keeping her from sharing her company discount?

  • 06
    QtK Dash I try not to judge other people's relationships but what the h lis this? Who doesn't allow their spouse to use their discount? Is it limited? Given the "what's mine is mine and what's yours is yours" attitude, I'd say NTA.
    via QtK Dash
  • 07
    oop_norf This is a weird one because while OP is justified in their response, this just doesn't sound like a relationship between people who like and want to support each other.
    via oop_norf
  • 08
    Kajira4ever It sounds like a "What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine" kind of relationship. No thanks
    via Kajira4ever
  • 09
    Biscuit Overlord OP It's not limited, but they do keep track of the purchases employees make so my best guess is that she didn't want to be seen as "abusing it". I'm not sure that was the issue though
    via Biscuit_Overlord
  • 10
    Acceptable_Phrase325 Not sure if your wife knows this, but usually they intend these discounts to be limited to the household. Thinking like a household, especially a husband and wife, pool their resources, so if one of them buys something the discount helps the employee which is the whole point. Abusing it would be letting her siblings/friends/acquaintances use her discount. Or buying things to sell or some nonsense like that.
    via Acceptable_Phrase325
  • 11
    Biscuit Overlord OP Ah that's a good point. I'll bring it up and see what she says. Thanks!
    via Biscuit_Overlord
  • 12
    selling_petrol_ NTA it's your money and there is some double standards here. I think referring to when she used her discounts they weren't for you, and this was something you got from work that you want to decide how to spend. If she doesn't take the boundary well I would have a bigger conversation about what is shared vs personal.
    via selling_petrol_
  • 13
    Raine Mist NTA She can't be mad about that when she was uncomfortable with you using her discount but not uncomfortable with using your gift card.
    via RaineMist
  • 14
    Consistent-Ad3191 It sounds like what's hers is hers and what's yours is hers? She has no right. She sounds a little bit greedy and selfish.
    via Consistent-Ad3191
  • 15
    OlieCalpero NTA, but your wife is along with her double standard...
    via OlieCalpero
  • 16
    BrokenViolet This is definitely a NTA. As another comment said, she set the standard about the work benefits. She gets a discount on stuff she buys for herself, and now, thanks to this gift card, you will as well for what you buy for yourself. What's good for the goose......
    via BrokenViolet
  • 17
    FloorShowoff NTA It's unsettling and ironic that she began planning how to use your gift card without consulting you, and then had the nerve to call you selfish.
    via FloorShowoff
  • 18
    Deb_elf NTA. Wife is perhaps a little selfish. But she's probably not done with your gift card. So either use it this weekend or bring it back to work and lock it in your desk/locker or somewhere else safe
    via Deb_elf
  • 19
    Biscuit Overlord OP Well it's digital so no issues there
    via Biscuit_Overlord
  • 20
    Shbworking You two need to have a long talk and address how selfish your wife is acting.
    via Shbworking
  • 21
    Unusual Potato 1515 NTA. Tell her you dont feel comfortable for her to use your gift card much like she has been uncomfortable for you to use her store discounts. How are you selfish for saying no when she's been saying no to you all this time?
    via UnusualPotato1515
  • 22
    Puzzleheaded_Bet3455 Nta funny how it works. Her benefits are only for her. Your benefits are for her.
    via Puzzleheaded_Bet3455
  • 23
    hk201 NTA. I have discounts from my work and I have no problem sharing it with not just my wife but any friends and family who asks as I don't lose anything. That was very selfish of her not to let you use that and then have the audacity to use your work things is just taking the . Just say you don't feel comfortable doing that.
    via hk201
  • 24
    SadFlatworm1436 You need to clearly point out to your wife the double standard she is applying. She buys for herself with her discount but won't use it for you but wants your bonus? H I no NTA
    via SadFlatworm1436
  • 25
    Watching Telly Now NTA, but you've got bigger problems than discounts.
    via WatchingTellyNow

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aita arguments marriage sharing gift card wife gift relationships husband reddit thread Reddit
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