Woman refuses to babysit sister's 7-year-old and 5-year-old every weekend while their parents go out, sister goes no-contact to punish her: 'She even guilt-tripped me by saying the kids would be disappointed'

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Dec 22, 2024 3:00 PM EST

Weekends are a beautiful thing, especially for people who have no children. I don't know what I would do without them. They're your time to spend however you'd like to: catching up on chores (I clean the house like nobody's business on Sundays), seeing that friend from college you promised to get a drink with, playing video games on your couch all day. Nobody can tell you what to do. The time is yours. That's why most of us are understandably protective of our weekends. If they start filling up with obligations, then life fills up with obligations, and then we have no time for ourselves. 

That's the situation one woman found herself in when her weekends started to be consumed by her sister's kids. As much as it's nice to help out family, people hire nannies for a reason. If it's regular work, it sure as heck should be paid. Read on to see what happened in this story. 

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  • 01
    Cheezburger Image 10444677376
    via Unsplash+ (Brooke Cagle)

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend? AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend?
    via u/seajayde
  • 03
    I (31F) have a sister, Sarah (35F), who has two kids, Emily (7) and Jake (5). Here's the situation: Sarah and her husband love to go out a lot, especially on weekends. They frequently ask me to babysit their kids, which I've been doing almost every weekend for the past year.
    via u/seajayde
  • 04
    At first, I enjoyed it because I love my niece and nephew, but it's become exhausting. I have my own life, hobbies, and sometimes I just want my weekends to relax or catch up on personal projects. Last weekend, Sarah called me again:
    via u/seajayde
  • 05
    Sarah: "Hey, can you take the kids this Friday and Saturday night? We've got a dinner party and then a concert." Me: "I was actually planning to work on my garden project this weekend. Can't you find someone else or take them with you?"
    via u/seajayde
  • 06
    Sarah: "Come on, it's just one weekend. You know they love spending time with you." Me: "It's not just one weekend though, Sarah. It's every weekend."
    via u/seajayde
  • 07
    She got upset, saying I should be more supportive and that family comes first. She even guilt-tripped me by saying the kids would be disappointed if they couldn't see me. I stood my ground and said no, suggesting they hire a babysitter for once or adjust their plans. Now, Sarah's not talking to me, and my parents are saying I'm being selfish because I'm the only family close by who can help.
    via u/seajayde
  • 08
    AITA for refusing to babysit my niece and nephew every weekend when I want some personal time?
    via u/seajayde
  • 09
    snarkness_mo... • 39m ago. "Almost every weekend for the past year" Are you serious? I'm surprised you have done it for so long without complaint. "Selfish"
    via u/snarkness_monster
  • 10
    You're selfish? Sister and her husband are selfish. They want to hang out like they don't have kids instead of spending time with their own kids. The entitlement is unreal. Sister sounds manipulative, using your feelings for niece and nephew against you. Are your parents aware that you've babysat that much, or do they just think it's an occasional ask?
    via u/snarkness_monster
  • 11
    NTA, and you need to take a break from babysitting. You're being used. You need to have your own life, and you've already gone above and beyond. Also, what does sis do for you, since family helps each other?
    via u/snarkness_monster
  • 12
    Some-Replace... • 47m ago NTA. Funny how her family, meaning the kids, don't get put first when her husband and her are out every weekend leaving them with you.
    via u/Some-Replacement-Bit
  • 13
    Stand your ground. I'm assuming they chose to be parents. And if they choose to go out every weekend without their kids they can also choose to find another solution for that. F giving up every single weekend to babysit other people's kids.
    via u/Some-Replacement-Bit
  • 14
    WhereWerethe... 39m ago. NTA. "Family comes first" is code for "shut up and do what I say." As soon as she spouts that off, the response is "Am I not family also? When do I get to come first?" Pay attention to how she justifies herself.
    via u/WhereWeretheAdults
  • 15
    You refused something she feels entitled to. You are now in what is known as an "extinction event." She is escalating her behavior in an attempt to get her desired outcome. Sis is selfish and is prioritizing her life over yours.
    via u/WhereWeretheAdults
  • 16
    • One Aspect94... 42m ago. NTA. Being family doesn't mean being a free babysitter every weekend. You've been generous with your time, but you're allowed to have weekends to yourself. Sarah's asking for too much and it's not selfish to want a break. Maybe it's time for her to get creative with finding other help-there are plenty of options out there, like a babysitter or even a night-in with the kids!
    via u/One_Aspect9465
  • 17
    Illustrious-Mix-... • 41m ago. Of course you are NTAH. If family comes first, tell her to put her family, (kids) first instead of prioritizing her plans away from them. If it is so important to your mom, she can watch them. Lie, tell her you have outside plans. You have a dinner date or concert also. Her kids, her problem.
    via u/Illustrious-Mix-4491
  • 18
    manic_crochet 49m ago. NTA. I have niblings I ADORE but I couldn't imagine sacrificing EVERY weekend for them. Idk what your work situation is, but working M-F 9-5 on the weekends I need to just be alone. If your parents think you're being selfish tell them to try babysitting as much as you have!!
    via u/manic_crochet
  • 19
    fiestafan73 • 37m ago. It sounds like Sarah's lifestyle doesn't match with being a parent. She chose to have them. She can make the sacrifices. You never signed up for that. Tell your parents and your sister that you refused this time because like them, you need some time to yourself, but if they keep harassing you, they can make that refusal permanent. NTA.
    via u/fiestafan73
  • 20
    WrongCase7532 . 48m ago. Yta to yourself for doing this for a year! Simply say u have plans and bo details are needed.
    via u/WrongCase7532
  • 21
    M •47m ago Edited 6m ago . NTA. She's taken advantage of you enough. You are not being selfish. If 'family comes first', then she can put her own kids first for a change.
    via u/MerlinBiggs
  • 22
    panic_bread • 35m ago. Are they even paying you for this?! I'm guessing not since they aren't asking anyone else. You're letting these people walk all over you. Tell them to hire a babysitter. NTA
    via u/panic_bread
  • 23
    Reasonable-Sa... • 24m ago • Sarah gets every weekend off because she has you to babysit? You work an entire week and then babysit on the weekends. When is YOUR weekend off? Apparently never. What I don't understand is why you are here asking if you are the
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 24
    you-know-what. Clearly you are not. You are NTA. But for some reason, you feel some uncertainty about the morality of saying "no" to Sarah? Why? Because of the social pressure being applied to you by your parents and by Sarah. Likely they have been using these manipulation tactics against you your whole life, to get you to do what they want.
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 25
    "No, I won't be able to babysit for you this weekend. I am looking at my calendar and I have babysat for you for 9 out of the last 10 weekends. I have not had a weekend to rest in over two months because I have been babysitting for you. I am truly offended that I have the nerve to tell me I'm selfish for
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 26
    having a weekend to rest, when I've given you the last 9 weekends to rest by doing YOUR childcare for you. I think it's pointless for me to help you again in the future as you are completely unappreciative of the large amount of help I have given you up to this point and treat
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 27
    me like a servant who owes you help instead of your sister who has given you a huge gift of my time and energy to help you out. You should find another babysitter for the future."
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 28
    Then the more they complain, the more you double down that every time they are nasty to you or call you selfish, it only reinforces that you are making the right decision to stop babysitting for people who don't appreciate you and can't be polite to you even when you are doing them a favor.
    via u/Reasonable-Sale8611
  • 29
    • quats555 22m ago. NTA. The only thing you did wrong was asking her for permission to do something for yourself instead. You should have said, "No, sorry, I'm not available then." End of sentence, repeat as necessary.
    via u/quats555

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childcare Babies family drama aita babysitter kids sisters moms parenting babysitting dad cute kids sister reddit thread parent Reddit raising kids Parenting Fail parents children Parenting FAILS
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