Update: Former manager shows up to office Christmas party anyway, wife makes a scene: 'Jeff was mortified'

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    How do you tell a former employee they aren't invited to future team events?
    via Echo0225
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    I'm a manager of a smallish team at a family owned business. One of my team members (call him Jeff) resigned to take a better paying job. He had been with us for a while, and a good worker.
    via Echo0225
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    We had a small happy hour after work to thank him for his time and wish him well. Here's the odd part. The company Christmas party was the Saturday after his last day. When he gave me his resignation letter, he asked if he could still bring his family to the company Christmas party, even
    via Echo0225
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    though he would no longer be an employee. I told him that wasn't a good idea. Even though I understood why he was leaving, and he was leaving on good terms, the owner would not think that was okay. He accepted that.
    via Echo0225
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    Here's my issue: Every year I host a holiday get together at my house for my small group to thank them for their work. I have food, drinks, and small gifts for
    via Echo0225
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    the team. As he was leaving on his last day, Jeff mentioned he was excited to attend my Team party next weekend. I was stunned and didn't know what to say. I want to stay on good terms,
    via Echo0225
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    but I'm not sure why he thinks he should continue to be invited to team events. I plan on sending him an email or maybe calling him, to tell him that the event is just for active employees. Has anyone had employees that wanted to linger after leaving?
    via Echo0225
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    Update on Jeff, the employee that left but wanted to attend the party at my home.
    via Echo0225
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    First, thank you to the Managers who gave thoughtful responses on the pros and cons of asking Jeff not to attend my Christmas party. I read through each one and decided to follow the advice of the majority of respondents
    via Echo0225
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    and just say nothing and let Jeff attend. I considered putting it to the team and asking their opinions, but eventually decided it was my house and my choice.
    via Echo0225
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    So, Jeff showed up with his wife last Saturday night. Some people were very happy to see him, a few were puzzled and dropped a few comments to me that they found it odd. I took the high road and didn't comment. There was a bit of drama, so I think Jeff will be laying low for a while. Here's what happened.
    via Echo0225
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    It was a warmish evening, so I got out the fire pit and patio warmers and put some food and drinks on the patio so people could enjoy the night (it also added to the
    via Echo0225
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    entertainment space, since my house isn't huge). During the evening, Jeff took the opportunity to share how much he's enjoying his new job. Fine,
    via Echo0225
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    whatever. His wife was having a good time also, and got lit up. I'd not seen her drink before. During the previous parties she was either pregnant or nursing and abstained. Well, she made up for that Saturday. She was noticeably
    via Echo0225
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    drink, hanging onto other guests, making herself real noticeable. Jeff stepped over to talk to her a couple of times, but she wasn't fazed. Well, the inevitable happened. She hit the
    via Echo0225
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    limit and ran into my yard and pted in my bushes. Jeff was mortified, and the other guests on the patio were annoyed and
    via Echo0225
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    some were disgusted and had to go in the house. After she finished, Jeff went in the house to get their things and quickly left. On the way out, he
    via Echo0225
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    apologized for what happened, and I tried to be nice about it. I was just glad she ped outside and not in my house. FFS, we aren't 22 years old. So, I think that's the last I will see of Jeff.
    via Echo0225

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