‘Fine. You asked for it, you got it!': Mother cancels childcare in order to prep for Christmas after in-laws throw a tantrum, leaves the rest of the 2 AM gift wrapping up to them

Author image for Elna McHilderson
Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Dec 24, 2024 4:00 PM EST

Christmas time is insane for parents. It's beautiful and chaotic. On one hand, you want to make it a magical and bonding experience for your children, but on the other hand, you would love to use this time for some peace and relaxation. Perhaps you can have both. Unfortunately, there are many families who put all of the holiday cheer duties onto the mother. This is antiquated and just not smart or efficient. You have an entire family unit for a reason—to love and help each other out. So if there are two parents and maybe even more adults in the home like in-laws, then everyone should be helping to make this a magical holiday. In this Redditor's case, she wanted all of the adults to have a smooth and easy Christmas time. So she booked some childcare so they could get their holiday duties done easier. However, that's when the in-laws started to throw a tantrum…

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    via Unsplash+ (and Kateryna Hliznitsova)

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  • Yes, we know the grandparents love their grandkids and that is beautiful. Love from Grandma and Grandpa are an entirely different kind of warm relationship. However, they tend to forget all of the chaos that comes with childcare. So when you have to do adult-level chores on top of caring for kiddos, things get very complicated. But, mom wasn't about to argue with them, so she canceled childcare and let the in-laws figure out the level of difficulty they just tried to thrust on her. Don't worry, everyone is still going to have a magical and merry Christmas!

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    You get exactly what you asked for Note: All the people in this story are lovely humans who can occasionlly be thoughtless. Internalized mysoyony is the real enemy! My inlaws are visiting for Christmas. I am working a half day today and was planning on taking our toddler to daycare because Mother In Law usually has a ton of baking and wrapping to do at our place in preparation for the big day and since we pay a huge % of our income towards childcare we should use the service. This would still al
    via be_wilder_everyday
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    I figured the adults all to be highly productive while kiddo and I were out and nobody would have to wrap presents until 2AM on Christmas morning. When I relayed my plan I immediately got hit with "BuT We CaMe ALLLLL tHiS WHhhhaaaaaAAAAAAyyyy!!!" So, you know what. Fine. You asked for it, you got it. I immediately canceled childcare.
    via be_wilder_everyday
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    Last night reality set in. Her: "You're still going to work?" Me: "Yes." MIL: "Well who will watch kiddo?" I shrugged, "There are 3 adults plus husband in the house, its fine." MIL: "But wont it be a lot of work for husband to watch kiddo all day?" Me: "It's no big deal, but kiddo is a very busy toddler these days. I am sure they'll wear eachother out" MIL: "Well I was counting on help wrapping." Me: "I canceled daycare already, I guess you'll need to make due."
    via be_wilder_everyday
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    Now I am in my ultra quiet office drinking an eggnog latte and soaking in the last peaceful moments I am likely to get before the new year.
    via be_wilder_everyday
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    geminake Make sure you take yourself out to a nice spot for lunch and treat yourself. Since there are adults at home, you need to stop and do some last minutes gift shopping after work as well!
    via geminake
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    be_wilder_everyday OP I would 100% love a day with my kiddo and husband but its the EXTRAS that make me tap out. I grew up keeping things small and simple, a special meal and maybe ~6-8 presents + a stocking full of small snacks. My husbands family goes HARD. Elaborate cookies and meals for days and days and the minivan is stuffed full of presents large and small. I value my peace and get overstimulated. That's what I am avoiding here. Dont get it twisted into some regretful parent narrative pos
    via be_wilder_every_day
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    Wakemeup3000 Well played. Love how his own mother assumes her son is going to have trouble watching his own child in your absence. I guess the plus is that she didn't say he was going to be babysitting. Enjoy your latte.
    via Wakemeup3000
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    be_wilder_everyday OP Right?!?! Like, ahe is 100% fine with me managing kiddo energy and multitasking with HER baking and HER gift wrapping priorities but it's all going to be too much for her widdle baby boyyyyy. Luckily my husband is a capable partner and 100% fine watching kiddo, his MIL just has a vastly different outlook from reality. Honestly she always builds up a list a mile long of what Christmas NEEDS TO HAVE to be a good celebration and then loves working herself ragged every year to
    via be_wilder_everyday
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    I love her energy and hostess spirit, she plans very thoughtful gifts and food but age is making her vision harder to pull off each year. I grew up with a much smaller family unit and modest (but festive!) celebration. I enjoy the big holiday festivities and dont mind helping to bring her vision to life but refuse to endlessly sacrifice myself. I am a person with needs too! I want to support her and if she can't see that this year there is always the next one.
    via be_wilder_everyday

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