Man Retracts His Offer to Pay for Sister’s Honeymoon After She Refuses to Invite His Girlfriend to the Wedding, Parents Take Sister’s Side, Resulting in a Sibling Feud

Author image for Bar Mor Hazut
Bar Mor Hazut • Senior Editor
Dec 26, 2024 6:00 PM EST

When you start dating someone new, there comes a point in your relationship where you are no longer only dating each other, but you are also dating their family. Making sure you fit within your partner's family is just as important as fitting in your own. If things end up going well for the two of you, both of you must feel comfortable and a part of the other's family.

Not being invited to your boyfriend's sister's wedding, after five years of dating, is not a good sign of the family accepting you as one of their own. Not to suggest that it's your fault, but it is something to take note of, and perhaps retaliate accordingly.

Luckily for the girlfriend in this Reddit story, her boyfriend stood up for her and decided to take action for the lack of inclusion. How did he do it? He decided to take back his wedding gift, which was to pay for the happy couple's honeymoon. Keep scrolling to read what happened next.

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  • 01
    I told her I'd decided not to pay for it anymore. I explained that it didn't feel fair to exclude my girlfriend from the wedding but still expect such a big gift from me. She got upset and said I was being petty and trying to ruin her big moment.
    via Karina Zhelnina
  • 02
    AITAH for refusing to pay for my sister's honeymoon after she changed her wedding plans last minute?
    via yeloooooo
  • 03
    So, my (32M) sister (28F) got married last month, and I was super excited for her. A few months before the wedding, I offered to pay for their honeymoon as a gift. I'd saved up for it, and I wanted to
    via yeloooooo
  • 04
    do something special because she's my only sibling. We agreed on a destination, and I booked everything: flights, hotel, excursions, the works.
    via yeloooooo
  • 05
    Fast forward to three weeks before the wedding, and my sister calls me to say she and her fiancé have decided to turn their big wedding into a small backyard ceremony. No big deal, it's their wedding,
    via yeloooooo
  • 06
    their choice. But then she casually adds, "Oh, and by the way, we're inviting only immediate family, so you can still come, but you can't bring your girlfriend."
    via yeloooooo
  • 07
    For context, my girlfriend and I have been together for five years. She's basically part of the family and was really looking forward to coming. I tried to talk to my sister about it, but she said they wanted
    via yeloooooo
  • 08
    to "keep it small" and that she hoped I'd understand. My girlfriend was hurt, but we decided to let it go and just roll with it. The wedding was fine, but it felt weird without my girlfriend there.
    via yeloooooo
  • 09
    Afterward, my sister asked when they'd get the details for their honeymoon, and I told her I'd decided not to pay for it anymore. I explained that it didn't feel fair to exclude my girlfriend from the
    via yeloooooo
  • 10
    wedding but still expect such a big gift from me. She got upset and said I was being petty and trying to ruin her big moment. Now my parents are involved,
    via yeloooooo
  • 11
    saying I should have just sed it up and that family comes first. My girlfriend thinks I was justified, but I'm starting to second guess myself. AITAH?
    via yeloooooo

  • If you decide to minimize your wedding, you should be prepared for the option that the wedding gifts will also be minimized. Even from your own family. 

    I can't blame OP (original poster) for his actions. I even think he didn't do enough. Perhaps if he stood up more strongly against his sister, his girlfriend would have been able to attend.

  • 12
    Ditistan 2d ago NTA. "I decided to keep my gift small, and I hoped you'd understand."
    via Dips**tistan
  • 13
    Popocalypse Now_ • 2d ago • Your mistake was offering to pay for the honeymoon. The road to his paved with good intentions.
    via P**pocalypse
  • 14
    yeloooooo OP.2d ago You're probably right. I thought I was just being generous, but I guess I didn't consider how it might get complicated. I honestly didn't think something as simple as wanting my girlfriend at the wedding would turn into this big issue
    via yeloooooo
  • 15
    Striking_hobo • 2d ago Just tell her half of the honeymoon gift is from your gf. So you can only afford to send one of them.
    via Striking_hobo
  • 16
    NefariousnessFresh24 2d ago Top 1% Commenter NTA - family comes first, and that family is your girlfriend, the one you chose, not the one you were born with.
    via NefariousnessFresh24
  • 17
    If your sister feels that your girlfriend should be excluded, then you have no obligations towards her at all.
    via NefariousnessFresh24
  • 18
    HorrorLover _ • 2d ago • You and your girlfriend should go on the holiday instead.
    via HorrorLover__
  • 19
    Freeverse711 • 2d ago Top 1% Commenter NTA. Your gf is family and you're putting her first. Beyond that, they kept it a small wedding, so they get a small gift. And if your parents have an issue with it, they can pay for the honeymoon.
    via Freeverse711
  • 20
    LucyLovesApples • 2d ago • Top 1% Commenter ESH your sister for obvious reasons. You're also the AH for not telling your sister what she was doing was disrespectful towards your girlfriend of 5 years (so hardly a stranger) and that you will be NO longer funding her honeymoon.
    via LucyLovesApples
  • 21
    Chance Vegetable 780 • 2d ago • Top 5% Commenter How could your sister not realize in advance that disinviting your gf from the wedding would change your relationship? Seriously.
    via Chance_Vegetable_780
  • 22
    Any-Expression2246 • 2d ago • A girlfriend of five years should have not been excluded. Hope she doesn't hold resentment toward your sis because the future is going to be awkward if she does.
    via Any-Expression2246
  • 23
    You should have held your ground on the GF going to the wedding. You caved too easily. That said, your sister doesn't deserve s'...
    via Any-Expression2246

Tags

family drama aita bride wedding drama honeymoon siblings reddit story wedding Party couples family Reddit invitation brother Wedding Invitation girlfriend sister
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