Woman’s Spineless Husband Allows Entitled Family to Use Their House Like a Hotel, She is Driven to Breaking Point After a 3-Week Stay: ‘I don’t want to micro-manage my family’

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Dec 26, 2024 5:00 PM EST

Welcome, internet-surfing ladies. The holidays aren't really about spending time with people that you like; they're about spending time with family. These two things are not mutually exclusive, but most of us are probably okay with seeing certain family members only once or twice a year. With many American families spread out all across the country, this tends to be the reality of the situation. However, every year, one family has to take one for the team and agree to host. For the most part, this is all well and good for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day, but some entitled family members see no issue in hunkering down and overstaying their welcome. 
In our story today, our protagonist is overwhelmed by her in-laws. Not only do they expect to use OP's house like a free hotel with room service, they refuse to pay for their own food or cook their own meals — and that's only the tip of the iceberg! Get all the details by scrolling down. 

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  • 01
    "This will be my MIL's 4th visit to our house this year. On one of her visits she stayed for over a month. Unfortunately, I've come to the sad realization that my husband is completely incapable of setting boundaries with any member of his family."
    via Jill Wellington
  • 02
    r/AITAH u/Past-Profit-614 • 14h My husband's family are staying at our house for 3 weeks and I'M LOSING MY MIND
    via u/Past-Profit-614
  • 03
    I'm one week into this nightmarish situation and I've already contracted laryngitis and completely lost my voice due to the stress of having my mother in law, sister in law, her 12 year old son and their two sheepdogs come to stay with us. We also have 2 medium sized dogs and a small garden so it is absolute chaos. They invited themselves to our house for Christmas and my husband allows them to
    via u/Past-Profit-614

    Talk about a nightmare scenario.

  • 04
    stay for as long as they want. This will be my MIL'S 4th visit to our house this year. On one of her visits she stayed for over a month. Unfortunately I've come to the sad realization that my husband is completely incapable of setting boundaries with any member of his family. It may have to do with the fact that he is the youngest of four siblings.
    via u/Past-Profit-614

    Fourth visit!? At this point the boundary should be a barbed wire fence. 

  • 05
    So far this week, his family have come into our house and: • • rearranged my plants in the garden because apparently they felt it would not grow well where it was, taken our dogs water bucket without asking and rearranged the area where they eat ⚫ constantly leave our gate open, allowing our dogs run out into the street,
    via u/Past-Profit-614
  • 06
    • haven't offered to cook a single meal and expect my husband to do all the cooking, plus pick up the bill when we eat out. ⚫ my SIL's dogs have chewed up all our dogs toys • which is fine, but she didn't bring anything for her dogs to chew and hasn't offered to replace anything.
    via u/Past-Profit-614

    Are we sure OP's in-laws aren't gremlins?

  • 07
    • they also constantly push boundaries with my toddler and try to convince him to do things he's not comfortable with (I step in pretty quickly but even when I set a boundary they dont abide by it which leaves me constantly repeating myself, waiting for my words to sink in)
    via u/Past-Profit-614
  • 08
    My husband has told me he is stressed out because he doesn't want to have to "micro-manage his family" in order to keep me happy. I've snapped at him once for not making more of an effort to get them to respect the fact that this is our house and to be more mindful of living in our space, but I really think he just lacks the skills to communicate with them or he is afraid of what they will say.
    via u/Past-Profit-614

    This man needs to grow a spine.

  • 09
    Please tell me I am not the a-hle for feeling this way? Am I being to sensitive here? #aita 2,704 1,224 D D
    via u/Past-Profit-614
  • 10
    ExactlyThreeOpossums 14h . NTA, the f is wrong with them? Reply 23.7k
    via u/ExactlyThreeOpossums
  • 11
    Past-Profit-614 OP. 14h This thought has definitely crossed my mind! 1.2k
    via u/Past-Profit-614
  • 12
    aquariusdays • 14h NTA, and honestly, your husband needs to step up. It's not "micro-managing" to ask for basic respect in your own home. You're dealing with an unreasonable amount of chaos, and it's time for him to back you up before you lose more than your voice. ... 1.3k
    via u/aquariusdays

    This comment right here!

  • 13
    exoticwitchx ⚫ 14h . Yeah OP's home is being disrespected when it's suppose to be the place for her to relax ↑ 39 ←
    via u/exoticwitchx
  • 14
    ExactlyThreeOpossums • 14h This is why I don't have friends or family at my house. It's my safe space. I'll come to you. My home is for me to get away from people. ... ← 36
    via u/ExactlyThreeOpossums
  • 15
    Pockpicketts 12h • What the f is wrong with your HUSBAND?!!! 5 в 24 д
    via u/Pockpicketts
  • 16
    Quiet-Hamster6509 • 14h Time to step it up. Tell them outright. "Dont move my plants. They are where I want them." "Dont do that with him, he doesn't like it." Followup with asking them what date they are leaving. Tell your husband that if they come again without him asking you first then you'll be packing up yourself and your kids and going to a hotel until they're gone. Your husband is a spineless AH. Reply 652
    via u/Quiet-Hamster650
  • 17
    davekayaus • 14h You're both doormats who are suffering due to a situation created by your spinelessness. Talk (or write!) to your husband, who can surely see the physical effect this is having on you. Work out some hard boundaries that you both agree with.
    via u/davekayaus
  • 18
    Enforce these hard boundaries with the IL's. Kick them out if they don't agree. For starters stop spending your money on buying them restaurant meals ffs. Never agree to host them again. If your husband doesn't agree, leave. I'm serious. Leave the house, take your toddler and what you need, and don't go back before they are gone. Reply û lk ♡
    via u/davekayaus
  • 19
    Fuzzy_Medicine_247 13h Thank goodness someone said it. OP needs to practice their big girl words and husband does too. No is a complete sentence. "This is our home and our child, respect that or leave." Is also a complete sentence. 350
    via u/Fuzzy_Medicine_247
  • 20
    Marahute-13h Take the dog too! I don't trust OP's husband to keep them safe!! ← 71
    via u/Marahute-
  • 21
    stadulevich • 10h This is the best move. My wife and I have a 5 day policy. Anyone can stay for a long weekend or up to 5 days. After that, there are these things called hotels nearby that usually have a room where they can stay before or after those 5 days if they wish to stay longer. Q û 14
    via u/stadulevich
  • 22
    AleYeah2006ITA ⚫ 9h NTA. Your feelings are completely valid—this situation sounds overwhelming. It's your home, and your husband's family should respect your space, boundaries, and belongings. The fact that your husband isn't stepping up is unfair to you, especially when you're left to manage the chaos. It might be time to sit down with your husband and have a calm but firm conversation about setting limits with his family for your well-being and sanity. Boundaries aren't about being r de; they'
    via u/AleYeah2006ITA

    Honestly, it sounds like his well-being and sanity aren't doing so well, either.

  • 23
    cosmopolite24 • 14h OP go and stay in a hotel for the week. Lock up your stuff so it's safe and then leave. Your husband needs to learn to be an adult and have a conversation with his family. Reply ↑ 206
    via u/cosmopolite24
  • 24
    aKirkeskov 13h In Denmark we have a saying: 'fish and guests stink on the third day' Three weeks would break me. Reply Q 70 ↓
    via u/aKirkeskov

    Okay, definitely saving this amazing expression for later use. 

  • 25
    Delicious_Bag1209 • 10h Three hours is enough for me. ... 19
    via u/Delicious_Bag1209
  • 26
    Hinata Darling • 14h NTA. Three weeks sounds like a whole season of a reality show nobody asked for. Maybe it's time for a fam meeting where you lay down some house rules? Or, like, a moat around the garden? Reply 171
    via u/HinataDarling
  • 27
    ChloeeBreeze • 5h You're definitely not the a h le... that's a lot to deal with.. it's one thing for family to visit but that's just a lot of disrespectful behavior on their part.. ur husband really should be supporting u more in this .. especially since it's ur space too.. he needs to learn how to manage his family's behavior or this will keep happening.. you're completely justified in feeling overwhelmed and upset ← Reply 50 ↓
    via u/ChloeeBreeze

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christmas family drama marriage toxic spouse wife reddit story married life marriage-drama relationships husband couples love entitled reddit thread Reddit holidays
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