Possessive new girlfriend refuses to allow boyfriend’s ex from coming to mutual friend’s house party, she insists on coming anyway, creating trouble for the new couple

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Briana Viser • Writer and Editor
Jan 2, 2025 4:00 PM EST

Welcome back ladies and gentlemen of the internet. When you get together with someone, you have to know they've had relationships before you. Trying to pretend like they didn't exist, or erasing someone's past from their life will only create relationship issues in the moment. It's true that your partner used to be with other people, date other people, maybe even love other people. None of it means they don't love or want to be with you. Embracing their past can create security and harmony that any healthy relationship requires, and can actually help you understand your partner more. 

This brings us to the Reddit thread. In this story, the original poster (OP) is a woman who's broken up with her boyfriend a long time ago. They broke up under mutual feelings, and decided to distance themselves from each other, despite having mutual friends. Over time, the ex-boyfriend got a new girlfriend, and her insecurities are affecting the relationship. Read the full story below for all the juicy details.

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  • 01
    called him. He said, his fiancé, feels uncomfortable that I would be anywhere close to him, and the fact that they both feel like I sometimes 'intrude' into their social gatherings, just to prove I'm better than her to his friends.
    via Canva
  • 02
    r/AITAH 1 day ago New Material_7896 AITAH for not dropping out of a house party despite it making my ex's new fiancé uncomfortable?
    via u/New Material_7896

    Ladies, how would you feel in this situation? Would you feel uncomfortable like the girl in the story? Or would you want to meet the ex, see how friendly you can be together, and even poke fun at your boyfriend over shared stories, opinions, and anecdotes? 

  • 03
    My ex (27M) and I (26F) split two years ago. We met through my best friend, who worked in the same theatre as him then, and the reason we broke up was because he didn't think we were working anymore. It was pretty amicable (I didn't put up a fight or anything), but I strongly believed there was no reason for us to to be friends
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 04
    anymore (that always causes problems), but I'm still friendly with his friends, and I make small chat if I run into his parents.
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 05
    We live a pretty close knit environment. Don't ask me how, we live in a city, but most of my friends and his come from either the same uni or have a common hobby, or we roam around the same circles and we definitely see each other once or twice a couple of months. My ex has a fiancé now,
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 06
    and I am happy for them. I have never met her, and till now I thought this didn't matter or anything. We are all adults (or so I think).
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 07
    One of his closest friends, Peter, just bought a house. I am friends with his girlfriend. And we are both invited to the housewarming. I didn't think any of it, however, my ex, texted me yesterday, after like a year? albeit, very politely, that maybe I could skip the housewarming, as he was bringing
    via u/New Material_7896

    I understand some people have trust issues, and especially with exes. The way I see it is that meeting an ex is like a window into my partner's past. It's intriguing, informative, and special to bond over something significant in their life. It's important to know who they were dating before, and what kind of relationship/versions of love they're used to. I think it's healthy to meet (and be friendly with) partner's exes, but not everyone feels like that. 

  • 08
    his fiancé, and she will feel uncomfortable. I was pretty weirded out by his wording, so I called him. He said, his fiancé, feels uncomfortable that I would be anywhere close to him, and the fact that they both feel like I sometimes 'intrude' into their social gatherings, just to prove I'm better than her to his friends.
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 09
    I got pretty mad hearing him say these things and I asked him in what way. We are not friends, and I stopped hanging out with his friends the moment we broke up to not make things difficult for him. There were a lot of people in his I became close to, but I stepped away, just so that things weren't awkward for any future partner.
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 10
    And how was it my fault? My ex explained two of his friends didn't like or respect his gf and thought. her an airhead, and so did his parents. Our circles are I admit, full of literature and theatre people and I admit some of them can be pretentious. Again, I told him that was him being a spineless bf and not my problem.
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 11
    I told my ex strongly that both Peter and his gf are my friends and I would be going to their housewarming, and his relationship issues are not my problem. I have blocked him now, and his fiancé sent a long text on how she was sorry, but now I was apparently being vindictive, and how did it matter if I didn't go to a
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 12
    housewarming? She asked me to not make any drama and please respect her. I didn't reply and blocked her.
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 13
    My friends are ped at my ex and I haven't told my friend or Peter any of it yet. I think maybe I could have handled it any other way. AITAH?
    via u/New Material_7896
  • 14
    Alibut1a 1d ago • You're not the a**hole here. You're allowed to go to a friend's party, and it's not your responsibility to manage their insecurities.
    via u/Alibut1a
  • 15
    Flora-Leely ⚫1d ago • NTA. You're not obligated to skip social events just because it makes your ex's fiancé uncomfortable. You've already made significant adjustments by stepping back from mutual friends post-breakup to avoid any awkwardness, which is more than considerate. Your
    via u/Flora-Leely
  • 16
    ex's inability to manage his new fiancé's insecurities or the opinions his friends and family have of her isn't your burden to bear. You have every right to attend a party hosted by your friends, and it's unfair of them to ask you to miss out just to ease someone else's discomfort.
    via u/Flora-Leely
  • 17
    Blocking was a bit extreme, but it sounds necessary to avoid further drama and maintain your peace. Stick to your plan, enjoy the housewarming, and keep rocking your independence. and respect for boundaries.
    via u/Flora-Leely
  • 18
    iknowsomethings2 1d ago. Top 1% Commenter NTA. But you should tell Peter and his girlfriend. Your ex and his fiancé are . It is not your job to manage their emotions or insecurities. If she's uncomfortable, then she should stay home.
    via u/iknowsomethings2
  • 19
    FoxySlyOldStoaty... • 1d ago Top 1% Commenter "I was apparently being vindictive, and how did it matter if I didn't go to a housewarming?" •
    via u/FoxySlyOldStoaty
  • 20
    Call me a cynic, but the fiancé is being vindictive and how does it matter if she or your ex don't go to a housewarming?
    via u/FoxySlyOldStoaty
  • 21
    sparklinglavenderrr • 1d ago • NTA. This is definitely their insecurity problem, not yours. You're going to your friend's party, not showing up to their engagement photoshoot. You've already done more than enough to keep things chill post-breakup. TBH way more than most people would.
    via u/sparklinglavenderrr

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boyfriend drama possessive friends relationships girlfriend lol couples love reddit thread Reddit funny dating
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